i woke up yesterday and asked the Lord to give me some special verses
not for myself
but ones that would encourage or speak to Emi.
one after another i wrote them down as quickly as i could.
i wanted to tuck them into different places in her luggage
but yesterday morning got crazy all of a sudden
& all i had time to do was wrap them together
and set them aside until later.
i copied verses that i've been praying over my girls for years
praying that these scriptures would just come alive in her spirit while she's gone.
she's headed to Peru
for three weeks.
she'll be working in an orphanage
helping build
and going into the schools and teaching abstinence based sex education.
my 14 year old.
oh yes she is
& i couldn't be any prouder of her than i am today.
when she turned 13
we gave her a purity ring.
she asked for one actually.
she would wear this symbol
as a sign that she made a promise to the Lord
to remain pure until marriage.
we gave her more little gifts yesterday morning.
never one to miss an opportunity to over achieve
in the wrist adornment category
we added to ever growing collection.
sissy wrote a sweet note
& a gave her something to take to the beach
which incidentally is the day after she flies back home!
as we drove to the church
i fussed at her for not bringing enough sunscreen.
nice
mom fussing at child before she heads out on a mission trip.
classic
as we drove down the road & got closer to the church
i began to feel that knot in my throat getting bigger.
tears were welling up in my eyes
as i looked in the rearview mirror & saw her and caroline
laughing and joking around.
i thought to myself, good gracious
i can't do this.
i can't let her fly away
with a relatively small piece of luggage
carrying more cash than she's ever had
one less bottle of sunscreen than she was supposed to take
one pair of shoes
and no way to communicate with me
for three weeks.
sure enough
as she kept laughing with sisters
one in a million by brad paisley came on.
i cranked it up.
i told her, this one's for you emi.
dan had to run back home in his truck
to pick up the bakers twine wrapped verses
that in all the excitement, i had forgotten.
we pulled in & saw bailey sitting her car waiting for us.
darn that knot in my throat is getting bigger.
i love that child.
my mind raced over to the "oh yeah, and she's leaving soon too"
quick reminder to my heart....don't go there right now.
more gifts.
sweet notes of encouragement
& the tears began
& thankfully i was not the only crier.
savannah asked bailey...did i cry when you left for Germany for three weeks?
i don't think i did.
so why are we crying now?
classic
her bff isn't going on the trip
but was there to send her off.
it was time to pass off the phone
as she can't take it with her
& right then she received a sweet text from her best guy friend.
tender moments again.
sweet bestfriend katelyn watching her walk away....so sweet.
as we drove home from the church
sweet em headed to the airport
( oh, the leaders asked that we say our goodbyes there vs the airport)
savannah told me, "mom emi didn't make her bed.
but i didn't want to tell you that until she was gone.
i didn't want you to fuss at her for that too."
mom of the year material right there.
i walked in to her room
and i saw her mirror with notes of encouragement taped to it.
and i saw her mirror with notes of encouragement taped to it.
her desk top with letters stacked from friends and family.
notes from blog readers whom she has never met.
facebook friends of mine who generously gave to her fund raising.
the list goes on & on of ways the Lord met every need of hers before she ever left.
back in november i was driving home from seaside
with one of my most favorite friends.ever.
dan called & said emi wants to go to peru.
the deposit was due that night.
what should we do?
while she's not the youngest of my girls
she's the baby of the family.
sweet, naive, kinda flighty
sanguine temperament, never meets a stranger
giver of the endless benefit of the doubt.
she forgets to floss for crying out loud.
how is she going to live out of a bag
&
not have a hot shower?
she wrote her support letter
ordered her 30 degree mummy sleeping bag
bought some gosh awful chacos
got a passport
and she's gone.
she's doing exactly what the Lord laid on her heart.
she's the hands and feet of Him.
He's going to rock her little 14 year old world while she's there.
she's going to see another culture
the face of a child who He loves as much as He loves her
in an orphanage
without a mama or daddy
and He's going to love on that baby child through my baby child.
it's going to be awesome.
as i write this
she's in the midst of the most difficult part of the trip.
this is the toughest time physically for them as they should be about 6 hours into the 8 hour drive
from sea level to 15,000 feet then descend to 10,500 feet.
between the flight ( which she hasn't done since she was a baby)
and then the altitude change
i'm praying my sweet em, with her sensitive tummy, is doing ok.
without sounding hokey
i believe there was some spiritual warfare going on before she left.
some issues that hurt her heart happened the other day.
plus she & i have not communicated well
& i've been flustered with her.
while i wanted to send her off with her feeling all awesome
& loved by me
i fussed and corrected and acted like a bossy mom for a week.
nice. take two.
if you believe in the power of prayer
i'd really covet your prayers for her.
safety wise, they aren't in a place of danger
but spiritually and emotionally i want her focus to be on what she's doing
& the amazingness of this trip.
not on being homesick or any issues from last week.
i want her to be spiritually available
& spiritually full of Him
while she's away.
that she'll really sense His presence
that she'll feel the prayers of us
that she'll not doubt herself
or be anxious and fearful
that her health will be at it's peak.
i won't lie to you
i wish she was already home.
back here. upstairs in her messy room. asleep.
safe & sound.
but she's not really mine. she's His.
& she's exactly where she needs to be.
~godspeed sweet em~
1 timothy 4.12
Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young,
but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.
ephesians 3.14-19
For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
62 comments:
Truly, that may be the sweetest, most heartfelt post I have ever read. A 14 year old being the hands and feet of Jesus....amazing. She will NEVER forget this. NEVER. I'm at work, but I am going to drop to my knees, now, right now and pray for every little aspect of her tender heart. And I'm going to ask Jesus to give her mommy peace too.
Paige, do not beat yourself up. I didn't like it when Jess went on her first missions trip!! I could not figure out why we were fighting all the time. Stress. We were both stressed. Now, not that I know everything, but I could feel this one coming and dang if it didn't start a month ago with Austin. He was soooo cranky and I was like what is your deal, then it hit me. TRIP!! and believe me by Tuesday he was screaming on his way back from Charleston. He had left his iPad at his Aunts house in Charleston and was on this side of Columbia. Ok, be rational. Called his cousin and had him overnight it and yes, it was here by 9:45--WHEW!! While I was home waiting on the iPad yesterday morning he was in Athens buying Toms at 9 when the web site said the store opened. They didn't open till 10. BUT he was calm and accomplished things that needed to be done and when he was finished came home and was able to actually relax before he went over to the church. NOW, he didn't eat at all and was in the bathroom A LOT, but he got on that plane and he went!! He went and the day before he was screaming I don't want to go!!! God carried him to that airport and HE is the same God that will carry your sweet baby through Peru!!!
i was all fine until i saw the picture of dan hugging her at the bus....then the tears came!!! i agree with you about the bossy.fussy thing - and sometimes i wonder if all my boys will remember is me fussing and correcting all the time -but it's our JOB as parents to "prepare" and "protect"...and sometimes a momma's just got to fuss to get the job done. prayers to emi and you - i know He is watching over her and will keep her safe!!! :-)
This post is so precious. Thanks for sharing, but it should've come with a warning...tears were falling by the 2nd paragraph, sobs @ the pic of Dan kissing Emi's sweet head (and tears again at the thought of that pic...priceless!)...thanks for saving the day with "gosh awful Chacos"...made me laugh out loud. PRAYING for Emi & all of you & so excited to hear the work God does in and thru her!!!
It is too early in the day for me to be teary eyed!! I should have saved this read for tonight ;) You are such a great mom, and I am sending up prayers for your sweet baby girl! Safe travels and great health during her time away.
Praying for your sweet girl that all will be well with her & for her in Jesus name. Quite a calling for a 14 year-old -- I love it! God bless you & yours Paige!
Lovely and such a heartfelt post. Prayers that your sweet girl is safe and sound and returns home safely as well.
what a way to start the day. you always lift me up with your post paige. thank you for that. i will keep emi and her whole group in my prayers. she is doing wonderful things.
Thank you for your vulnerability that you fussed. My mother in law once told me, "HE gives us a wide margin of error." It is amazing that they turn out the way they do in spite of us. I will delight in praying for her (and you!) as she lives this experience.
So sweet! Praying for her and her amazing trip and for you too!
Janet
What an awesome post - just should have waited a little later in the day to read. I LOVE your post! It's like getting my favorite magazine in the mail. Praying for her and you!
What a beautiful post. I cried all the way through it! My children are 7, 5 and 5 and I know I will blink and be exactly where you are. Thank you for writing from your heart! I will be praying for Emily and her entire group. I will also pray that you will blink and your arms will be filled with her again!
Dear Paige,
You're making me cry again.
You are so brave to let her go
and spread her wings.
What about Skype? There isn't
an opportunity to see and talk to her on Skype?
Sending our prayers.
Best,
Coastal Blue Ocean
h it is so hard to give our babies wings, but knowing she is following the path that HE has for her will help. I will pray for your sweet girl and for you. The picture of her and your hubby was so emotional. You are a great Mom, don't ever forget that.
Winged prayers
on their way....
For both of you : )
Love how you layed
this out. You
are wonderful.
xx Suzanne
Praying for your sweet girl....
Love this post....praying for sweet Emi's tummy. I get elevation sickness so I can empathize. UGH! Will turns 14 in a week or so and I cannot imagine my heart as I put him on a bus for this trip (although it IS right up his alley).
The most compelling thing you wrote though it that she is not yours...she is God's. I remind myself of that all the time.
Praying for peace for you and a life changing experience for sweet adorable Emi. YOU are an incredible Mom and role model not only for your girls but for those of us behind you on this journey of raising kiddos.
Showering all of you with prayers and loving that she is off doing God's work.
I think I went on my first mission trip when I was around her age, but my mother was there with me.
She will learn so much and come home with a changed heart and a new fire that she didn't know existed.
God will all those who encounter her, he will bless her, he will bless you!
You are, as I've said before, a shining example of how I hope to be as a mother.
Biz
Wow! Your posts continue to absolutely blow me away. This post is fantastic, so well-written, heartfelt and beautiful. I wish I was leaving a week later so we could get together and talk. Reading these precious posts about your girls just makes me even more excited to get to know you better and I'm honored to call you friend. I bawled while reading it, still crying. Those pictures are precious and so are the words. Emi is such a special girl. You and Dan have done very very well! xoxox Can't wait to see you when I get back and hear all about Emi's big adventures!
Girl...why ya gotta go & make me cry?!?! Your words were so sweet and her friends and family are amazing! What encouragement she had right before she left! The Lord was taking the time to fill her up right until the moment she stepped on that bus...He's so sweet to do that! The picture of dad kissing her on the head...stick a fork in me...I was done after that...and her sweet best friend...presh! I can not WAIT to hear how the Lord shows up for her...I love the verses that you wrapped up for her and I love that Dan went back to get them...she'll be so thankful to have those words of encouragement.
You didn't sound hokey at all...the enemy works overtime when we're heading into the mission field...it's happened to me before EVERY trip I've been on except this last one...I've finally learned how to pray against him before my last trip and it was amazing the difference I saw leading up to my trip to Malawi. I'll be praying the armor of God over her and I look forward to her return.
I think you know deep down she's going to be just fine, probably even better then "just fine". She will come back your same Emi, but even better. I truly believe that God protects those that are on His errand and Emi has a lot of people praying for her right now.
I hope everyone will not just pray for her safety, but for her success and pray that she touches the hearts of those she teaches.
Lighten up on yourself. You are a mom and you are entitled to fuss a bit over things like this.
Just beautiful!
paige, i started following due to your posting this on the Peru group Facebook page. Thanks for sharing. My son Sam is among the small band of guys going to Peru so i'm sure Emi and he will become friends.
I too had a hard time letting go after pulling into the parking lot Wednesday. I truley thought I was prepared but so many emotions rolled over my heart as I gave him that last hug. I'm SO proud of his desire to Love people for God's glory and that trumps all the fears the enemy and my own mother's heart try to throw my way.
BTW: Sam actually left ALL of his sunscreen (found it on the floor by his bed) so don't feel bad about her having only one. i'm prying that He will ask to borrow some from friends.
Blessings and I hope to see you at grace!
You're sweet daughter will bless many little children over there. I have a very special place in my heart for children in orphanages so I will be sure to pray for her time in Peru. I am sure God will bless her abundantly. You have such a sweet family! Thanks for being so inspiring in this crazy world!
Your blog is one of my favorites to read, even though I'm not even close to being a mom yet. :) Instead, I just love seeing how much you love your girls. Your posts are a gift, and this one is no exception. My husband and I will be praying for your brave, sweet girl as she takes this leap of faith for the Father. And kudos to you for being the kind of mom who prayerfully let her go.
Tears flowing...prayers lifting. God's glory will trample all over Satan's attempt. She is going to see the Glory of God face to face and grow like she's never grown before. And you all will grow from her experience as well. Love that Bailey was there...and Emi's BFF. Love the picture of the loved over Bible. Hang in there.
Tears in my eyes. Will pray for her.
That sweet baby has my prayers!! What an amazing opportunity that God will use to grow her spirit, not to mention yours.
I have an almost 8 year old daughter and I pray that one day she'll be carrying God's message further than her classroom. And I fear that she will carry God's message further than her classroom. With all my heart I want to protect her and love on her and call her mine.
Thanks for the reminder that our children belong to the One who is far more capable in every way to be the Perfect Parent, Perfect Protector, Perfect Lover of their souls.
Love,
Denise
What a precious post! I've been on several missions trips and I am so excited to hear about how God uses her and changes her after this trip. The wonderful thing about missions work is that the more you try to bless others, the more blessings you receive-and it's absolutely overwhelming is the most wonderful way! Emi is going to have an incredible experience, I just know! You are such a wonderful mom and I pray that I can have the opportunity to be the kind of mom you are and to have the kind of relationship you do with your daughters someday. You are an inspiration to so many. Thank you for sharing parts of your life with so many. Prayers and love!
i have knelt in His grace, with your daughter in my heart.
once again i must tell you, i am so honored to walk this road of motherhood with you. we can do this!
; )
xo
from the heart.. what an amzing child of GOD! I think we fuss at them before they leave because we are afraid, makes us appear stronger! My middle baby went to her first Camp and I got choked up when I realized in her angst to get there we forgot her pillow and sleeping bag and she only had 1 sheet!! She said mommy I am going to be fine.. my friends will look out for me..plus it's hot I don't need a blanket!! I will be praying for the Lord to keep EMI in the palm of his hand!
Paige, please tell me that you will make her a book of all those sweet notes, verses, AND this post. She will love it now, but will REALLY LOVE AND APPRECIATE IT when she has her own family. She will keep it forever. And do not beat yourself up. She KNOWS that you love her unconditionally and only "fuss" at her because you care. She may not admit that now, but she knows. I will be praying for her over the next few weeks as she realizes how much God loves her and how very lucky she is to have this life. Here's to hoping the weeks fly by for you! Hugs!
Oh how this post took me back to my oldest son's first mission trip to Mexico, to an orphanage. I too was tied up in knots, so much to worry about, not having the full control, like I ever did. My dad always told me that we, his kids were not really his, they were on loan from God for him to take care of for a while. That has always stuck with me. I also did a father faux paux, I walked right up to the Youth Pastor, whom I had only met a few times, took his hand in mine, looked him straight in the eye and told him," See my son? Watch over him carefully, because if he does not come back, you better not either....." I think back now and think that was a terrible thing to say, but he was taking my most prized possesion my child to a country far way from me and I wanted him to know that I was watching him. That mission trip changed my son, he grew up in that 3 weeks, he saw poverty that he did not know existed, he came back changed. I grew to love his Youth Pastor, Ted and his family, but oh how I know what you are going through. I will pray for you and for Emi that God does a might work in her , through her, and for her. You keep smiling, and keep praying, she will come back a better person because she answered a higher call.
Blessings to you and yours
Curtis & Sherrie
Awesome. This is so amazing. Praying for her safe travels and beautiful memories and experiences...
XOX
Oh Paige,
I feel for you, I got teary eyed just reading this!! I send my oldest to England in July for "Study Abroad" and she's never flown, so I can kind of relate to your feelings! God Bless Emily, she is doing such an awesome thing.......I will keep her in my prayers!
Another sweet post. I love your blog! The pictures brought tears to my eyes. Emi won't hold any fussing against you - it's so normal and springs out of love and concern. My daughter and I got so crabby with each other right before she left for college...we both acknowledged it and went on. Just the stress of sending them off into the world. You are such an inspiration to me!
Okay, I'll have to make a point of not reading posts while I'm at work (as I wipe aways tears). That is the sweetest post I've ever read. I'm sure you are so proud of Emily. I will put her on my prayer list.
(1 Timothy 4:12) has alway been a favorite. Thanks for sharing.
Love the pictures. Especially of Emily and her Dad.
one of your best blog posts ever!! this is touching and it's so being a mom it's what I feel each time one of mine have to leave, I flip out, my stomach goes in knots and it just seems crazy and life out of place. My daughter just came back from a trip to the beach with her friend and family and it flipped me out, but all in all I know it's all ok and it's best their wings get to spread that's all I know. I wish her and your family nothing but the best. I know she is doing well and all is good...we believe.
I just stumbled across your blog..well, I am sure God sent me to it...my daughter is leaving for her first overseas mission trip in 3 weeks and she is headed to Peru as well..Your post touched my heart in a special way and I am praying for your Emi and for the work she is doing being the hands and feet of Jesus...and I am praying for you to lean on Him during this time of separation
You have such a beautiful way of writing about your daughters. It comes straight from your heart and I usually end up in tears. Praying for your sweet daughter and for you also. God bless....
Paige..What a sweet and heartfelt post that only a mother could write and only a mother could read and understand..My prayers are for her and you..She will have this experience and remember it forever,as will you..Soon she will be home telling everyone about her trip..
Janet
you are such a GOOD mama... she is going to be forever changed, and what more can a Mama ask for?? You always encourage me to pray for my kids and not give up! Just love ya girly.
Oh, Paige! I can't imagine how is is to let her go; so hard, but you are so proud; you are a wonderful MOM! I hope she has a wonderful time.
I have to say, when you were describing Emi, it was my Beka all the way; they are 1 in the same. And I am the same way with her; fussing and fussing; and then I think I shouldn't have fussed about that.
I love the pictures, my favorites are of you and her and dan and her. You have a wonderful family and friends; I just love Bailey, she seems like such a genuinely great person!
What a great experience for sweet emi, one she will hold on for a lifetime.
I was thinking about you all that day wondering how you were doing! I think I was fussing and worrying too.
Take care! Jodi
left me teary, very teary! sweet mama, sweet girl.
Okay, so how many times have you gone in her room and smelled her pillow or something she wore before she left? And then you sit on her bed with a bit of tears and feel the strength of God knowing she is strong and okay, and so are you. She looks very confident and filled with joy and excitement. Praying for all their safety and focus to do God's will. :) The time will fly by!!! I would need extra strength for that three week no contact though!!!! Geez, I make my grown kids call me or text everyday!!!! I will never cut those strings.. :) Hugs, xoxoxo
Teresa
I am way too pregnant, and way too emotional to read this right now. Thank goodness I haven't put on my makeup yet or I would have mascara running down my face. I did ok until you got to the part about her rocking the orphans- then lost it. Sweet Emi- I know her life will never be the same after this. Can't wait to hear about the trip when she comes home.
Deep breath. I can hardly hold back the tears and she's not even mine. (You may need to create a category called "grab a Kleenex" for posts like these!)
I've just lifted your Emi up in prayer and am confident that the Lord is with her...around her...before her...behind her.
As for spiritual warfare...not hokey at all. Very real...especially when we are doing risky things for the Lord. It's a backwards compliment!
Xo,
Linsey
Paige, all is well. I remember the first time I went on a summer mission trip with Teen Missions. It was at the end of my junior year in high school. I was gone for 2 weeks of "boot camp' and then 6 weeks in France. We built the director's house of a Christian camp in a small French village. One of the best summers of my life! Many years later my Mom told me that she had secretly called Teen Missions to cancel my registration because of her fear of letting me go so far from home. But thank God they talked her out of it. LOL I am now 50 years old with 2 grown children and 2 grandchildren. The cycle continues... but our Lord is always faithful and true. My word of advise as a veteran Mom is to enjoy being present in every moment and don't sweat the small stuff. Life's moments are truly short and sweet. My Mom used to tell how fast time flies and now that I'm older and she is no longer here, I understand more than ever. Sending prayers and hugs your way for you and sweet Emi.
Beautiful raw emotions ~ you are one blessed momma ~ my heart is soo there with you ~ tears flowed thinking about her leaving ~ the trip of a lifetime, one that will be remembered for ever ~ one that changed her ~ one that matures her ~ a trip I'm sure you would have loved to join her on ~ 3 weeks will go by quickly and you'll have your baby back ~ more generous, more loving, more accepting and all the while will probably be doing alot of reflecting on her relationship with you ~ my bets are on an even more beautiful relationship when she gets back ~ prayers for a mother's heart to feel that love and acceptance across the miles
Was my note all taped up on that mirror with all the others?
Hmmm...
I must have totally lost 'best blogger friend" status huh?
She's going to be just fine....but i'll still be praying for her and her group.
What an accomplishment....you must be so proud !!
Hello, I don't know you and I just stumbled across your blog on someone else's. Something about the title of your post made me click. Boy, do I ever believe in the power of prayer. I will pray for Emi and for you. How incredibly proud you must be of her! And hard to let her go. My sons 19 and 15 are going on a mission trip later this summer so I kinda know how you feel. But what a blessing to have such grounded, strong, and passionate for our Lord children! And how God can use them for His purpose! Bless your family! Thanks for the post!
paige i am totally in tears right now. she WILL rock that 14 year old sweet spirit by being the hands and feet of Jesus. while i feel your anxiousness in my very own heart right now i pray for this to be a dramatic and beautiful piece of Christ's work in her life. and Lord do I know the feelings of being a grumbling mom...she'll forgive you! my prayers are with her
I will pray for your sweet girl. Beautiful post. May her life be forever changed as she ministers like our Savior. May her Mama also rest in the peace of the Lord.
I have a 1 year old and am BAWLING after that post!!!!! Being a parent is SO HARD SOMETIMES- it really spoke to me when you said 'she is HIS' oh, now I'm a teary mess....you daughters are presh...xoxo shelli
I promise to pray for your Emi every day -- several times! Destiny
P.S. I cried through this post too. It was just so real, so sweet, so good and godly...
At first reading this, I thought "No,way". "No way I would let me 14 year old daughter go on this trip." You must be crazy ! Then I read, And I must say I agree. She is the Lord's, doing his work, and being carried by him. Who could say "No" to that? Not I, and Not you. I'll keep em and your family held in prayer. Godspeed ! May she touch so many lives and be filled with the holy spirit.
oh my. i can't imagine . . . the photo with Dan is a tearjerker for sure.
i'll be praying for sweet emi!
xo ellie
Paige, Once again...I read your posts and can relate to you so much! I was thinking about a verse that was given to the teenagers at summer camp a couple weeks ago (I went with my girls; as a chaperone) it is Isaiah 49:16 "...see I have your name engraved on the palm of my hand." We are so special to our God that He has our names on the palm of His hand. How amazing is that. As my girls are growing up, denting fenders, getting ready for college, etc. I have to remember this! Your sweet girls will be in my prayers, but so will you...cause as a mama of teenage girls, I know we need it! God Bless you...Bethanie
just happened upon your blog via a link from Jones Design Co. loved reading about your sweet daughter going to Peru. For the longest time, I thought I was going to be a full-time missionary there....but God had other plans for me! I'll be praying for your sweet girl and her time there.
I loved this post. I can totally relate to so much of what you wrote, and I am praying for your daughter. If you can, I would so appreciate your prayers for my daughter, too. She's in a hard place, spiritually, right now, because of a boy, and she needs the Lord to protect her and heal her heart. I tried to email you but couldn't.
Came across your blog thru Jones desing tonight. can't wait to savor each post, but my son (19yrs old) will be going on his 1st mission trip in July) isnt God's timing just perfect??? So cool how I found "you" just when I needed too. I am an event designer so weeding thru all ym inpsirational party feeds and found inspiration for my spirit! (He is my only child <3) In His love... Marcie
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