nineteen valentines

it's funny
i had to stop & ask dad...19? she's 19?

at the risk of sounding cliche...i have no idea how we got to 19 so fast sweet girl.
no idea.
i swear it was just the other day you were sitting in the back of my vintage volvo singing "one headlight" along with the wallflowers.

as i look back, i think of two years that really shaped who you are today.
1997.
you were four going on twenty four. daddy gregg had just passed away. you were so brave.
i honestly i felt like it was you & me (with little sissies) against the world. you were the perfect mix of strength and independence ( those first born qualities) and yet a sensitivity that i still am amazed at today.
you were brave & tender at the same time. sometimes i worry that you might have missed out on the innocence that being a little girl affords...a little girl who has the luxury of all being right in her world.
all was not right in yours.
yet you took on a maturity that other little girls don't usually have at that age. you & sissies were the reason i kept on during that time....
on days when i thought the sadness would swallow me, i knew that ya'll were my gift. ya'll were my little part of him, of us & we would be just fine


2011
eighteen & ready to fly. the world at your fingertips.  planning graduation parties, filling out college applications, SAT & ACT ( you smoked them both), prom dresses, formals, a sweetheart & so many many social events.
move in day came way before i was ready. truth be told, i'm still not ready. i miss you in my every day but man oh man , how you have found favor in so many at UGA. i could not be one inch prouder of you are today. not one.
it's not uncommon for me to glance over at you and still see that little girl from 1997. big brown eyes and a mouth that often times looks just like him. you never missed a beat.
& i doubt you ever will.
sometimes i wish i could go right back to having you be my little girl, my little partner & sweet little friend singing loudly, right beside me...but i know i have to be a big girl too & encourage you where you now.

while technically you're just down the street, i know in my heart, you're gone from my little nest.
your world is big sweet girl.
you will do so many great things....i know this because you already have.

happy birthday my sweet valentine
oh how i love you so...

~~~
"well i've been afraid of changing
'cause i've built my life around you
but time makes us bolder
children get older
i'm getting older too"
stevie