Wednesday, November 03, 2010

can't even go there yet.....really?

Little Drummer Boy from Videos on Vimeo.

give this video a moment to upload...i don't want you to miss a single moment.

i have listened to this over & over this morning.
this rendition is hands down my favorite Christmas song ever
i'm so excited to  tell you it is my church on Christmas eve last year.
(& we'll be there again this year!)

one of the most holy, beautiful, powerful, humbling events i've ever been a part of.
our church wanted to be available for the community to come & hear the good news of Jesus
& boy did we ever
all  eight or nine thousand of us.
eight or nine thousand worshiping together on Christmas eve!!

last night dan & i stopped in one of my favorite little shops.
the owner had unpacked dozens of boxes full of Christmas goodies.
the ( grumpy) woman beside me mumbled
"i can't even go there yet"

her words have rung in my heart this morning

at first i judged her & thought....really? YOU can't go there yet?
a savior was born
for all of us
& you can't be bothered yet.
as if.....

i know what she meant.
i do.
i know she probably referring to all the commercialism.
i know that's probably what she meant.

i know this is an emotional time for so many
i know this is a reminder of loneliness for some
of unbearable hearbreak for others.

for that very reason
i want to focus my spirit on going there.
remembering that there is hope
no matter what the situation.


this morning i began to wonder
while i would never say that....
i love this time of year...i'm pulling out my chirstmas cd's. today.
does my heart say that?
does my heart act as if i'm not ready & i can't go there yet?

monday was november 1st
to me, it signified the beginning of 'the season'
i spend an embarrassing amount of time on my laptop
so i decided i would unplug for the day.

i got on fb for about 5 minutes
quickly uploaded a blog post
&then put this little bad boy aside
& went about my day

i was able to accomplish much.
who knew?

i decided to hop in my car & drive to the park
with my camera
& just be

it was only an hour
but i felt my soul was nourished
& my spirit was calm

i heard the ripple of the water
& felt the breeze on my face
i could smell the fresh fragrance of fall

as i left the park there is a short part of the road that merges with the highway.
as i approached i could see a little man
he looked like he was 150 years old. seriously.
hobbling with a cane
wearing a veterans hat
& holding a sign that simply said
"i'm hungry"

it was all so fast
i was merging with other cars
the light was green
i couldn't stop in the middle of the road

i live in the suburbs
this is not a usual occurrence

i drove through the light
and then another light
before i realized i was all teary
ironically i was on the way to my grocery store
to buy groceries for my family

i quickly turned around & pulled through the closest restaurant
( remember i had my camera with me, ok)
& ordered him some food

my heart was about to beat out of my chest
 i was sorta excited about helping this little man

as i approached the intersection
i put on my hazard lights

he was gone

i  couldn't have taken more than 5 minutes
and this little fragile old man
was gone

i drove & drove
with my hazards on
trying to find him

for 30 minutes i went up and down the streets
caroline was soon to get off the bus...i needed to get back home.

i was completely deflated
while i was trying to find my little old veteran
i happened to pass this guy
in broad day light he was wearing a reflector vest
pushing a bike
with dozens of empty baggies tied to it

i pulled up beside him
& asked him he would allow me to give him a meal

i could tell he wasn't "all there"
he kept telling me had no where to put it

i'm thinking....well, how 'bout your tummy?
better yet
in one of the dozens of empty bags tied to your bike?

he said thank you but no thank you

i have grown up in this community
& lived within 5 miles of this area most of my life.
i have never
not once
seen a homeless person
a strange possibly unstable person pushing a bike down the highway
in this area
never before.

i drove home
with my now cold combo
& melted frosty
having never found the original homeless looking man
& turned down by another

i don't tell you this to make me look like a hero.
for crying out loud. it was only 6 bucks and 30 minutes.

i tell you this because
while i want to decorate my home to celebrate this glorious time of the year
& have the gifts all wrapped magazine worthy
yummy menus planned
& tummy's filled

i more importantly want my heart to 'go there'
for my spirit to be sensitive to those around me who are in need

i have a savior who came to bind the broken hearted.
i want to go there
whether its july 1
november 1
or december 1

Hebrews 13:2

Be not forgetful to entertain strangers
for thereby some have entertained angels unaware


Kelli said...

You are going right where the focus needs to be...HIM. I think that all of the commercialism around such a glorious day makes people lose the meaning and that is what weighs heavy on me. Thank you for a dose of inspiration. I want to pull out my Cd's today as well...LOVE it! Love Him.

Kat said...

Oh Paige, that totally made me cry. My heart aches when I see homeless people. It makes me so sad. I wonder what happened in their lives that brought them to that very spot. The thought that you bought lunch and tried to give it to someone in need speaks volumes. I think all too often people just turn the other way, but you didn't. Bless you and your sweet heart.
You must have gone walking in Stone Mountain, oh how I love that place. One of my favorite things to do is to grab my dog, Fergus and walk the loop at Stone Mountain Park. So peaceful and gorgeous. Have a wonderful day!

Lori Lucas said...

That was a great post. It does remind us all about what "the season" is all about. Then you ended with one of my favorite verses. I taught this verse to my five little ones a long time ago. Many times they "quote" this back to me when they think there is someone we need to do something for. :) Thank you for the reminder. I will think of this quote ...and use it..literally. Have a blessed week. Lori L

Dana said...

wow....i have no words. That is probably because this is so convicting to me. I, too, LOVE this season. But thank you for giving me fresh eyes, HIS eyes, with which to see the world around me. Thanks for taking the time to share this :-)

Anonymous said...

Our God is an awesome God!

Jennifer said...

I'm new to following you blog and I love it. I work in a downtown Nashville, TN. Each morning and afternoon I pass dozens of homeless people. I've passed some of the same ones for years now. I catch myself looking for them in their particular spots and wondering if they are ok if I don't see them. This morning as I sat at a light an elderly homeless man walked by and I thought to myself...Jesus would be there with loving arms to help these people. Thank you for your blog this morning and making it clear from my thought this morning and after reading your blog...that I need to be in that spirit as well.

Many blessings!
P.s.- I started my Christmas cd's Oct. 31!!! :)

Lou said...

Paige - you speak such sense all the time - I really like that about you. I so wished you could have found him, I was willing it as I read down the page...maybe another day? Lou x

vintage girl at heart said...

Bless You!

Razmataz said...

The thing with a homeless person, is that we start to be accustomed to seeing them and become desensitized. Every one os someones son or daughter or broher, mother, sister. Most often I believe it is because of mental illness. I live in the suburbs and seldom see that here, and am shocked and saddened when I am in Toronto at all the homeless.
It was a lovely gesture to bring lunch to this man.

The woman in the shop problay meant she could deal with all the trappings that have become Christmas for most people. The spending, the family conflicts, the over the top and meaningless commercial Christmas stuff. I am afraid I find Christmas a rather melancholy time for myself, and I am hoping my children (so far succeeding) do not get this way at this time of year. It can be a sad time for many. I think if you connect with it spiritually, then you do Ok.

Sandy, Sisters of Season said...

Such a neat thing you were trying to do . . . never change. That's pure love that you have in your heart! Lots of happy to you, Sandy:O)

Katie said...

Thanks for reminding us of the reason for the season!

Shannon said...

Another wonderful and inspiring post! I look forward to the mornings I get to read your sweet words :)

Tiffany Day said...

Oh my goodness, please believe me when I tell you that I have felt SO similar lately! I don't want this time of year to go without me taking notice REALLY being here in the moment and making this time be improtant and matter!

I love that you shared your heart about this! Your heart was in the right place for sure! God sees and hears our intentions and by putting our best foot forward we do make a difference! I am sure you have inspired many today - for sure!


Lemonade Makin' Mama said...

I LOVE you. What a precious heart you have. This sounds just like something my man would do. He has a habit of chasing down homeless people with food. :)

3 Peanuts said...

I have chills Paige. I have often done exactly what you did for that man. I bring a piece of fruit for a man Kate and I see on the way home from PK some days. Or I give him $

We don't always see him so I have not packed more food but maybe I should. I wish you had fond the man but God knows your heart and He was pleased anyway.

I also pulled out the Christmas Cd's yesterday and I am truly hoping in my heart that the grumpy woman was commenting on the commercialism of the season that she was not ready for rather than the meaning of celebrating Christ. Because really the commercialism has gotten a little out of control. I love celebrating Christmas but retail seems to be going overboard.

Hugs my generous and beautiful friend.

Dana @ Cooking At Cafe D said...

You don't know me. I'm just some blogger gal who likes yours. But, I have a couple of thoughts I'd like to share.

The woman. Boy, I get it. Or, at least I might. You see, I'm a Christian and I'm not ready either. Ready for Christ? Sure. Every day. After all, he's not only the reason for the season - he's the reason for all.

But, I'm not ready for...the commercialism. And, *that* is what a lot of us are dreading. That - I'm most certainly not ready for. (And, for those who only have the commercialism for Christmas, it's a cold and lonely place.)

Wonderful video, btw.

As for the homeless man. The disappearing homeless man, who without him, you would never have bought the lunch and stopped to talk to the second man. I'm sorry you didn't find him. But, you never know. Perhaps you weren't supposed to find him. Perhaps you were meant to be prepared to offer the second man the lunch. More importantly - even more than lunch - perhaps you were the one person who would speak kindly to him that day. Maybe the only one to speak to him at all that day.

Just a little something to roll around. All the best.

Privet and Holly said...

Paige, that is so
YOU....My parents
used to live in a
suburb of Atlanta
and you are right,
this isn't a normal
sight to see. Your
lovely heart was--
and is--in just the
right place. Your
post will stay with
me as I travel through
my own day.....
xx Suzanne

Anonymous said...

thanks, I needed that;)

melissa said...

So very touching. Paige. My heart aches for the homeless and I too see them almost every day in my normal driving routine. You are one special gal (of course we all already know that!) and God is working wonders through you, his servant on earth.

LOVE the music and your photos of the fall tress are breathtaking. We don't get to experience that here in Fl :( .. and most of the tress had not change this past weekend at Ole Miss. Darn.

Continued blessings to you sweet Paige!! xo

Anonymous said...

B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L. I've been following your blog for a little while, and I don't believe I've ever commented. I couldn't help but comment today. BEAUTIFUL! Thank you for reminding me of that verse today.


Oh my goodness you should be an inspirational speaker girlie! You made me cry and inspired me so much always!! I can totally and completly "go there"!!!! Love....April

Kristin said...

oh dear girl...i too *love* the christmas season...the smells, the joy of family, the little things...but this year i feel dread in my heart...not for the reason of the season but for the see the extreme expenditure on "things"...especially when you see so many like your two homeless guys, so many children who won't even get an orange in a stocking, so many of us that are closer to hunger...but then it all comes back around to the reason and to hope, to faith...

prairie blessings,

Ashley said...

This is why I love you!!

christina said...

My grandmama used to say -He comes in all forms.
I believe.
I send you love this season, my friend.

Jerri said...

Ditto to what my sweet daughter said...summed up by "Love you girlfriend!"

Anonymous said...

Breathtaking ... simply breathtaking. Destiny

kimberly from mimicharmante said...

brilliant. you are brilliant.
I love the way you write, I love the way you make me think of things I hadn't, or in a way I wouldn't have. I love your heart - that it is so big, and full of love and generosity. You are an INCREDIBLE inspiration my friend. You make this world a brighter, better place.

Dawn said...

Loved this post, Paige.
Blessings on you.

Sandy, Sisters of Season said...

Hi Paige, I just listen to the video you have posted on your blog "I little bit of your story". You talk about being a widow with three young children. I just lost my husband (heart/diabetic) four months ago and it kills me everyday to get up and breathe .. my kids keep me going when I think it's impossible . . but God has brought me to a whole new level of faith and I know it he has something planned for me already . . I'm just waiting to see what it is. Thank you for being so open and sharing something so personal about your life . . it definitely encourages me. God is amazing . . isn't he? I've followed your blog for some time now, never really left a comment until now. I'm sure God brought me to your blog to prepare me for this season in my life. You really view life in a beautiful way. Lots of happy, Sandy:O)

Tammy said...

Paige...first - that video..that voice...that song...made me cry and made me wish I lived in Atlanta so I could be a part of that glorious service this Christmas Eve! How wonderful it must be!
Second...your park pics are so calming..beautiful place thanks for sharing those!
Third...Your post today ...very heart warming! Living in Charlotte I often see men & women standing with their card board sign and I have pretty much always given them whatever I time it was just a bag of oranges...last week I had just left the ATM to get cash for lunch and when I got to the intersection...well let's just say I had PB&J when I got home for lunch! I just can't drive by them!
I think I'll go dig out my Christmas CD's and start even earlier on my ringing in of this glorious season!
God Bless you Paige!
Tammy :-)

Anonymous said...

You know my Mother always taught me this verse and every time I see someone like your little man I think about that verse. The difference is that you actually did something about it. I have on occasion given money, but, I am always a little anxious about it. We are told so much about people pretending to be homeless for money that I have become a little cynical I believe. The truth is, even if things are not really as they seem and we help the person out then we have done as "He" commanded. Thanks so much for the reminder. I love your blog. Vickie

traci said...

i too love Christmas. everything about it.

i wish that veteran knew that you were thinking of him. i only hope that someone else picked him up and took him to lunch.

have a great day.

Jen Kershner said...

Little Drummer Boy was my Mom's Christmas carol. Thank you for going there today. Hugs, Jen

Unknown said...

Oh my word. This was the most amazing post. Amazing. Thank you for caring. Thank you so much. Not just caring. Doing. And even though he didn't get the meal you got for got something that day. Something so much bigger than a $6 meal.

homebody0404 said...

Dear Paige,

About a couple of weeks ago, as I was driving down a main road I saw a man at a bus stop. He was obviously waiting for the bus, sitting on a suitcase. He was sitting there leaned over with his head in his hands looking so discouraged and dejected. My heart started pounding immediately and I prayed for him and wondered whether he was homeless, out of work, kicked out of his home... I wasn't in a position to turn back. However, I wondered if I should have gone back, asked him if he was okay. I admit I don't always have the courage to take action. Thanks for your post and your reminder that our hearts should be ready, not for the commercialism but to celebrate what HE came to do.

Love & Peace,

Jboo said...

Lovely post. Thanks for sharing and your sweet spirit.


Anne Marie said...

paige...this was wonderful...the music...the story...and it touched me....if you have the time, read back on one of my oldest posts entitled "mindless samaritan"
(you search a blog in the upper left hand corner)

very well written...and I'm sure the response to this post will be overwhelming to you...

Amanda Lively said...

Wonderful Post!! I love your talent of writing and touching people's lives and heart's!! You are truly gifted! I was wondering if you could give me more info about the Christmas Eve service? We watched the video and it is absolutely amazing! Do you think it would be ok for a 4 year old? Please let me know any info you have! Thank you!!

Bravehearted Beauty {formerly LLH Designs} said...

Soooo good. I want to go there, too. All year, every day. It's easy for me to get in the spirit (starting in September!) because of my Christmas card business, but thank you for reminding me to go deeper today.


Courtney Walsh said...

There's something about helping someone you find standing on the side of the street. I'm sorry you didn't find your little old man. But I know God will bless you for trying.

I'm going to attempt to stay off facebook today. I've got to write! :)

Between You and Me said...

i loved every part of this post!

love those pictures...I'm so glad I got to see Georgia in all of it's Fall glory last week!

love how you spent last Christmas Eve...

love that you spent $6 and 30 minutes trying to serve not only food...but that little 150 year old man....

Susan R said...

Thanks for just being you my friend. You have a good heart. God appreciates you.

Alecia said...

Good stuff....It's easy to get so inward and think only of ourselves than of others...thanks for the great reminder to get our focus off of ourselves and to redirect our focus to the Lord...when we do, He redirects our thoughts toward His thoughts and our hearts toward His heart :-)

Alecia said...

Oh man....I just watched the video....Soooo beautiful!!! I got a bit teared was fun to watch the drummers...there was one on the far could tell he was really excited to drum for the Lord...he has this sweet, joyful smile on his face :-)

Heather said...

It is wonderful to come across people who believe. I think that society is trying to teach us to hide our beliefs to be politically correct and not to offend someone. I have a son-in-law that doesn't believe in God and we have catered to him for the past 10 years. Not this year! We will be putting Christ back in our Christmas!!

Cstargel said...