Tuesday, May 24, 2011

the strength of a mama's heart

you may remember i shared about my friend ginger 
and the tragic death of her daughter virginia back in september.
if not, feel free to view here,
or a memorial site set up for virginia here.

i think about my friend often.
i thought about her that first thanksgiving
i thought about her christmas morning
i thought about her on mother's day
and many many random days in between.

i think most of us fear the loss of one of our babies more than anything.
for those who have traveled that road,
& i know many,
i realize that there's no words to say.
i realize that we fumble trying to adequately express our grief
or our empathy.
it never sounds like what we want it to.

when i saw ginger that day at virginia's funeral
i basically said nothing
i hugged her
i cried with her
i told her i loved her
& how virginia is one of the most beautiful young women
that i had ever seen.
 she always was a gorgeous child.
i loved getting their christmas cards for 17 years & seeing that stunning photogenic family
& especially viriginia.

we've played telephone tag
& a few weeks ago i was finally able to catch up.
we both sat outside on our back porches 
and talked for almost 2 hours.
she in montgomery
me, in atlanta.
two friends discussing life after the loss of one of our loved ones.
something we never thought we'd have to do.
no one ever does though.

ginger always had a steady easy going sweet spirit.
i don't know why it came as a surprise, but she still does.
even after heartbreak, her voice still steady. still strong.
she told me that she while she misses virginia
while he daughter is constantly on her mind & on her heart
she longs for Heaven.
the things of this earth are growing dim in their luster
as she focuses her energy on what matters.
she told me, "Paige, the only thing that matters is the hearts and souls of men and women. 
and the word of God. 
and that everyone come to know Him.
I'm so thankful I know Him".
she said those very words.
no lie.
& i believe her.

she knows she'll see her sweet baby girl again.
she holds no anger to the man who was driving the car that caused the wreck,
who incidentally was just arrested this month.
she holds no anger to God.
she harbors no bitterness.
i was blown away.

i asked her to tell me more about their relationship
especially during virginia's teen years.
she told me that that virginia had the most respectful heart towards ginger & her hubby kevin.
that maybe she rolled her eyes at her mom twice
& then quickly apologized.
that her verse at the time of her death
on facebook
on facebook people!
was Ephesians 6.1
"children obey your parents".

she loved to lead others to the lord & was a strong witness.
she wanted all her friends to know & love the savior that she knew and loved so dearly.
she loved her family
her friends
& her Lord.

a beautiful legacy

i love you my friend....
i bet when i get to heaven
i'll spot that gorgeous virginia a mile away!

(the graphic above was used by permission from joyshope)


Sheri said...

Ok Paige - I'm a little weepy this week already and this post just brought me to tears. What a beautiful post - your writing is amazing and this young girl is just beautiful - love love love your conversation with her mamma. Have a blessed week my friend. xo

traci said...

what a beautiful post paige. you always pick just the right words. inspiring.

CHH said...

Dear Paige,

My heart breaks yet again.
I know from your words that all that knew her were truly blessed by her presence.

God bless all that knew her
yet again as they walk this journey.

Blessing to you Paige.


Coastal Blue Ocean

Privet and Holly said...

I remember that
post like it was
But I'm sure for
Ginger it's felt
like an eternity.
What a blessing
Virginia was and
through your sweet
words, continues
to be, Paige.
Sending you hugs
through tears...
xx Suzanne

Debby said...

I remember the post as well. I remember how bad I felt for your friend. So wonderful that you are such good friends. It is sad. What a beautiful young lady and such a great spirit.

Jillied said...

I don't know how I found your blog recently but I do know that I feel like you could be the sister I never had and always wanted! I just don't know what else to say! You have the same values and priorities and love of Jesus and you give me the inspiration to improve things in my life right now! ...I think I was on a sewing blog that liked your blog! Thank you for the glimpse into your life and the great ideas - loved the Lilly grad party, etc! Thank you and if you're ever in CT look me up!

Jillied said...

...by the way...this heart wrenching yet inspirational post led me to finally comment to you. My thoughts and prayers to you and also this amazing family. God does have a plan and someday we will see!

Cynthia@Beach Coast Style said...

I remember that post just like it was yesterday it was hard to read then and it is now. I have a close friend who lost her 16 year old daughter about 2 years ago and it's still so hard for her it's like she never went away. I can't feel her pain but I try to understand it. It's all I know to do.

Tiffini said...

yes..the luster of this world and its things grow dim. what really matters is the hearts of men and women and that they know God. She is beauty from the inside out..to live in the light of this truth every single day.
I can hear your heart through your words

Jodi said...

Beautiful post. I couldn't imagine the heart ache that she has, but it sounds like she is such a strong woman with great faith! She sounds like a wonderful person and a great friend; it's great you have each other, I am sure she is greatful to have a friend like you!


Susanne said...

Paige , I was feeling a little blue today but your post was a reminder of what is waiting for us in Heaven , and it is so glorious . I understand the statement of the world losing its luster and that is how I feel too. I want everyone to know Christ and to trust fully in our Father . Thank you for that beautiful reminder !

Missy said...

What a beautiful testimony! I have no doubt that Ginger will see her precious Virginia again and it will be a glorious day. I can't wait to be in Heaven! It makes these difficult days on Earth so much more tolerable. You are a wonderful friend, Paige. I am blessed to know you.

Kat said...

My heart still breaks for your dear friend. Her faith and strength are awe-inspiring!

Bethanie said...

Oh Paige, Once again I read one of your posts and well up with tears. I cannot imagine the grief of losing a child. I would pray that I could be as strong as your amazing friend. How do people who do not have faith survive? I just dont know. My daughter had her first fender bender last week, and it just set me off, "what if it wasnt in a parking lot?, "what if she had been hurt?" I just remind myself daily that He loves them more than I ever could. Thank you for your sweet blog and your sweet spirit. You encourage me daily, make me laugh and inspire.

Between You and Me said...

Paige...I JUST put it together....my dear friend, Terri, from Montgomery told me about the death of this sweet girl, Virginia, when the tragedy happened. Her daughter, Jessica, LOVED her.

What a small, small world it is that we live in....

praying for Ginger and all of those who loved her dearly....

so glad that Ginger has a dear friend in you.