life as a 15 year old & being a mom

 

i mentioned to ya'll that the month of may was going to take me out 

but we're rolling along ok

& no event has been forgotten

& everyone has been where they're supposed to be.

so being 1/3 through, i feel that's quite an accomplishment!

i recently did a photo session with emi

for an ad for Carol & Company.

she is shown here modeling two pieces

from the island cowgirl line.

they have beautiful words engraved on each piece &

are even prettier in person.

emi's currently managing the boys baseball team.

i'm certain she's up to her ears with my "oh my gosh, i did that in high school too & loved it...baseball players are so cute"... seriously.

she's also learning to drive.

heaven help me.

few things are as scary as 

a. teaching your child to drive

&

b. letting your child drive

on a street

with other drivers-

some of which

should 

not 

be driving

themselves

i was involved in round one of teaching savannah to drive.

that was the undoing of our relationship.

so

dan is solo in teaching both madi & emi.

end of story.

the man has the gift of "not overreacting".

 

emily is so much like her biological daddy

both in looks & personality.

she's 15.

she's shaken the dust off the infamous middle school stage.

she's my lucy pevensie

who incidentally, besides aslan, is my favorite literary character.

loyal & kind 

but has a little stubborn streak too.

i'm not one to point out my children's failures or flaws on my blog

but we're working on getting our act together.

for me, things with my girls get a little fuzzy around this age.

i tend to not be the most patient person.

i'm also a one gig at a time kinda girl.

in a big family, full of women

patience & being able to roll with multiple issues simultaneously existing

is crucial.

the joke is i'll probably figure it all out by the time caroline hits highschool

having wore out my first three!

honestly parenting

mothering

is a daily reminder of how much grace i need

& how much i usually learn from my girls.

she'll like me again one day.

{ she's gonna read this & say.... awww mom i like you!}

i promise moms...they do.

they come back around & declare things like the following 

on facebook & you'll know ya'll are all good again.

you'll breathe a deep cleansing breath 

& give your self a mental high five

& you'll smile despite the tears in your eyes

& the big lump in your throat

to my own mom

& to my sister in law who has the heart of a mom

and to each of you that are mothers

i pray you have a glorious blessed beautiful

teary hug-filled

lunch at your favorite restaurant

 mothers day!

for my precious friends who have lost a child

i pray a special blessing for you on this bittersweet day.

~~~

A wife of noble character who can find?
    She is worth far more than rubies.

proverbs 31.10 

wrist adornment overachievement

i have to tell you i had planned on posting this months ago

but keep feeling funny showing a post full of bracelets.

but

then

thank goodness

the over adorned wrist became really popular

which works out great for me & my girls.

i obviously do not live under the less is more law

when it comes to jewelry.

i've tried to do that move when you look in the mirror

before you head out the door & take just one piece off.

sometimes i do, but it's seldom from my wrists.

ya'll being the cutest readers ever often times ask about the jewelry the girls & i

wear so here you go....a post full of bracelets after all.
if you wish to join in & tell us a wonderful piece that you've found
& love to layer with, please do so!

leather cuff -jeanne oliver

brown wood beads- walmart

antique medallion bracelets-yesterday jewelry

 

silver knot cuff -james avery

trust your story cuff - etsy

 

cuff - jeanne oliver

jeweled cuff - j crew

jcrew, old navy & maybe target ( older ones)

 

 

thick beads- local artist ( no website but these are all over etsy)

 

personal silver charm bracelet, very old

"P" charm john wind & looks fun mixed in with sterling

brown leather with silver cross -island cowgirl from carol & co

gold bracelet - target

 

monogram cuff - JW from carol & co

sorority pom initial bracelet carol & co

gold bangles set of 3 - nordstrom

embira seed bracelet - noonday

worn with jeanne oliver leather cuff

lenny & eva sentiment cuff

( must be googled, sold at multiple online places)

white buckle bracelet- kate spade

 

wrap bracelet with cross - the pink chair 

 

wrap bracelet - the pink chair

watch - michael kors

blue clear bead - target

blue medallion - uptown girl boutique

darker blue - gift

 

all john wind pieces from carol & co

 

 

all from noonday

fusion cuff, nomadic & taj cuffs

embira seed bracelet -noonday

gold leather with silver cross- the pink chair

tada!

~~

& speaking of jewelry

 privet & holly is the winner of our noonday minted necklace
that was part of the Celebrationg Moms series

happy mother's day suzanne

i hope you enjoy

teenagers, tattoos & & other scary subjects

(these are my 3 youngest + my sweet abby)

i tweeted the following this afternoon:

"Having the charming "belly button piercing" conversation with one of my girls #heckno #teens #guesswhichone"

& then proceeded to blow up all forms of my social media.

even "ms sibi" called to check on said  #guesswhichone

making sure we weren't piercing anything today.

i have a couple deadlines this week

which have served as a clear reminder that i have poor task completion issues

& 

am woefully inept in performing multiple tasks simultaneously.

that being said, i just had to address this issue.

shall we name this the second in my arbitrarily numbered teen series?

so

in a conversation sprinkled with laughter

( i can have a sense of humor my friends)

& maybe a tongue in cheek or two

yes i did indeed have, what i'm certain,

will not be the last conversation

( nor has it been the first)

concerning body piercings & other scary subjects.

this is where i throw out my disclaimers

& hope we'll still be friends.

my experiences with my own teenagers are my only experiences in parenting teenagers.

i have not had the challenges some parents face with rebellious children,

chronic medical or psychological issues, or the myriad of challenges

that make parenting a child in the teenage years even more tough.

my older three girls are all completely different

& thus require completely different expectations, responses, & parenting techniques.

what is right for one is not always necessarily right for all.

i think i'm slowly becoming a better parent the older i get.

poor savannah. first born child.

( i'll pay for her counseling )

i was so darn hard on her & instead of majoring on the majors

& minoring on all else,

i think i made everything a big deal.

i have a been a grace failure. 

it's true.

but i am slowly learning to feel out my girls when they react & respond 

to their world

or mention that they'll be getting their belly buttoned pierced

"when i turn 18, cuz i can do anything at 18".

i don't go all wonky & freak out 

( well, we are just talking. no one has pierced anything yet).

i learned a few years ago

( free parenting tip here....)

don't freak out.

whatever they tell you. don't freak out.

you can freak later with your spouse, but in front of them, keep it cool

years ago, savannah went to young life camp for the weekend.

she called & told me she had something to tell me something when she returned home.

lord have mercy. i was scared to death of what that conversation was going to be all about.

lo & behold, that child hopped off the bus with about a 3 inch strip of fuscia hair.

pink hair. 

that's all.

now, i'm not a fan of pink hair.

but the pink slowly faded away & all was right with our world again.

i tell you that because it was a reminder to me to chose my battles

& pink hair was not going to make or break us.

& yes, i made a few snarky remarks. i told you...grace failure.

now please don't send me hate mail or tell me i'm wishy washy

on this next statement.

i'm going out, bravely, on a thin limb here....

my conviction, my personal conviction

is that i do not make my girls feel they have a load of rules & expectations

that are strict & that each weigh the same.

the "each weigh the same" is the big point here.

what does that look like?

well, when savannah was a junior in highschool

i sat down on her bed one night & poured out my heart to her.

my girls know where we stand on many of the basic family rules

you know... say yes ma'am & yes sir. wear seat belts. 

the 10 commandments.

don't drink & don't have sex. floss. etc

 follow?

but i pleaded with her one, above all others, conviction

that i prayed would be her own conviction.

i expressed how highly i valued that conviction and how violating that 

would affect her.

 forever.

i wanted her to know that "one" was the biggy.

for me. her mom. the biggy.

my head is not in the sand.

nor do i wish to hide my girls in the basement until they're whatever age...

i'm a realist

& i was a teenager.

i'm not hosting keg parties or buying condoms ok....but i am aware of 

the immense pressure on our teens these days.

i will also say, you may think i'm sorta lucky or sheltered

but my girls each have a relationship with lord

& desire to please Him, more than me.

so that is HUGE in instilling values in them.

& tattoos and body piercings honestly fall further down my personal list 

than some other biggies.

what's become ( wish i figured this out long ago) of more importance to me

is to understand the root or what might cause my girls to say & do things

that i hope & pray they don't do.

if i can 

somehow

strive to understand their hearts

then discussing an issue like..."why do you want to do -----"

(you fill in the blank...my biggy blank surely isn't yours)

might go over a little better than a big blanket

"heck no".

goodness.

i'm always so hesitant to even share these things.

sometimes it's hard to articulate something so complex.

so multi -faceted.

what i'm basically saying is 

i sure hope no one pierces or tats up anything right now

or shaves their head or whatever else.
truth be told,

we usually spend most days breaking up arguments between my middle two.

i'm trying to choose my battles 

& each battle is different with each child.

i can honestly tell you though,

the vast majority of all our battles are based upon  & rooted in building character in our girls.

i'm trying, sometimes failing

but i'm trying to first of all

let my girls know they're loved

& that i have their back

& that Jesus loves them.

those three things alone are the recipe for great communication.

even if the communication is about pierced belly buttons

so, i'll fumble & humbly stumble off my soapbox

& also tell you....

i have a tattoo

xo

 ~~~~

"By Your wounds we are healed
And You have conquered the grave
And in Your rising, we will rise
To carry Your name
Above every name"

christy nockels

on the edge of seventeen

 

happy birthday birdie!!!

17 is such an awesome age!

i pray this coming year is full of dreams coming true

& wonderful memories being made.

daddy & i are SO proud of YOU

& the beautiful young woman you are becoming.

 here's a little recap of this past year! 

you had so many firsts & so many biggies! 

~~~

license.VWconvertible.JVFC captain

sophmore.DECA.

sarah.cameron.katherine.megan.haley.

broken nose.surgery.the gym.

first job.checking account.first paycheck.

shoes.shoes.shoes.

4.0

1stplace in 1st DECA competition.

4th place in state, heading to nationals.

d-group.

juicy.vogue.chanel.adele.dior.

accomplished huge personal goal.

helper.baker.sister.daughter.friend.

deepy loved.

~~~

 

 

Happy Birthday Little Bird

i love you

xo

my goodness

i hope you can hear that in surround sound with all the southern drawl i can muster up.

emphasis on the "my" of course.

i absolutely loved everyone's feedback & encouragement
from the previous post!
ya'll are awesome!!!

it's so hard to be clear in texts or comments & emails.

it's hard to hear the voice behind what is said.

blog posts are certainly no different.

i was not at all angry with the question that was posed.

i thought she honestly ( & she did indeed come on back by & tell me the same) was curious how we balance raising teenagers who go to public school ( one of the largest in the state) & watch things like the bachelor ( gag me),  gossip girl & the kardashians (on occasion)

but also love jesus.

 it can be done. it really can.

since i primarily write about our life

it's not unusual to get questions about how we handle different situations

& i will gladly answer what i can.

in fact, if you'd like to ask any questions you can send them

& i'll try to incorporate them into a few blog posts.

it's  a brave move to put yourself out there & share beliefs and convictions.

& also not get anybody too fired up.

i can count the times on one hand (& still have a finger of two left over) that someone has left me a rude comment.

i'm not sure how i've danced below the radar but thankfully i have.

anyway...that's enough of that for now. but i LOVED all the feedback. seriously!

for months i've thought about our schedule between march 2 & march 10th

& how things would all fall in to place.

dan & i are heading to my favorite place at o'dark thirty saturday morning.

last year was super blustery & cold but with the mild winter we've had, i'm hoping it will be gorgeous

for the Seaside half marathon.

this will definitely be my half marathon swan song.

i love running

but i've decided i do not love running for 2+ hours.

plus, i am convinced that my thighs & calves are completely jacked up now

due to all the distance running.

it happened last year too. i was certain that all that training i would drop a jean size & therefore treat myself to some post race designer flats. 

well, i didn't. i'll be darned if those last few weeks i got bigger.

what the heck.

so the other day i'm standing there in my little ugg wannabe slippers & i tell one of the girls ( whose name shall not be mentioned) that i thought my calves were bigger

 to which she replied "yeah, they do look weird".

fantastic

madison turns 17 tomorrow!!

she whipped up these dr. seuss inspired cupcakes a few days ago,

i thought you'd enjoy~

 ps. i bought the designer flats this year anyway.
so take that. 
signed, owner of ginormous calves.
~~~

And we will worship, worship
Forever in Your presence we will sing
We will worship, worship You
And endless hallelujah to the King

matt redman

teenagers, the kardashians & how i do what i do

 

a couple posts ago i received the following comment...

Anonymous said...

"I love your blog. I love your family because of your blog. You seem to have raised unbelievable girls. I am so impressed....ALL THE TIME. And I am faithfully trying to raise my own Christian children.
What I dont understand is how one of your kids said they would want to live with the Kardashians???
And it's not so much that they named a pop culture family...but how? Do you let them watch that show? I am actually very curious. It seems so hard these days to raise decent kids. And you really seem to be doing it. But do you all have People magazines around the house...OK Magazine and all that junk? Do you let your kids watch TMZ and such shows? I am so confused. I do not let my kids watch that junk. I will NOT let them watch shows such as Glee. How can I teach them one thing, but then let them watch that type of smut? The same goes for the Kardashians to me. So do your kids just kind of "know" about that family from the media...and love them because they have 3 girls and are similiar to you all? (Cuz that is where the similarities would end!!! They are as far from a Christian family as I can tell....or at least they act like it!)
So can you let me know how you monitor magazines, tv shows, books, pop culture with your kids?
Thanks for being so open and honest on your blog. It helps me get through my weeks and helps me be a better person. I have never written to you before. This comment from Em about the Kardashians (and your comment about it) just really really stummped me!!"

 

i've spent some time over the last few days thinking about an answer for her

& let me also say, thanks for asking. i'll try to humbly explain my decisions.

let me first say something~~~

 i hope i never ever ever

 give anyone reason to believe that i think i'm a rockstar

awesome mom.

i'm a type A , first born female

raising 4 females

& only by the grace of god are we where we are today.

it's not me alone...i can assure you.

i fuss, over react and often times my attention is on this computer

more than on them.

yes it's true. 

secondly, there's a super tiny, fine, arbitrary line

in my writing that i try not to cross.

i share basically everything but our social security numbers

but i will not share my girls faults or failures

bad attitudes or mistakes here on my blog.

(unless completely approved by one of them, but even then that's rare)

we'll keep that private.

 i will however, share their accomplishments & their daily victories here.

while i'm as real as i can be,

i'm well aware that sharing "the good" may sometimes give you the perception

that things are always smooth sailing.

& honestly, most days they are,

but not always.

we live in a culture where as parents we can easily be eaten alive by

guilt

& 

my desire

is to encourage you in your relationships with your children

not make anyone feel guilty.

honestly, we do that enough to ourselves don't we?

we don't have a zillion rules around here.

i have high expectations, but not hard & fast rules.

& dan and i taper expectations per each girl.

my girls however know where i stand

on premarital sex

underage drinking

and a few other biggies.

i am in no way, wishy washy.

ok...back to the kardashians.

sorta.

yes, i allow my teenager to watch some of the kardashian show.

yes i think that one sister has a horrible mouth & is horrid to her mom.

i have no idea what TMZ is.

no i do not purchase OK or People but yes i read People
(while in the check out line at Publix)

along with a vast array of different publications.

 i feel it is very important to be culturally relevant

especially while raising teenagers

( & my hubby is a highschool assistant principal-he totally needs to be in the loop!)

&  yes, as my girls get older,

part of my parenting philosophy

is that i prepare them for the stage my savannah currently is in...

as parents, we are ultimately preparing them to leave the nest.

( sadly)

so, that means that at certain times

for certain issues

as i see fit for each child

i begin to give them more & more space

more & more grace

more & more chances to make their own decisions

while still guiding them

this also instills in them that i trust them...

my deep thinking is pretty much currently on overload

as i prepare for the pearl event

but i will gladly answer a few of the questions that i often times receive in some upcoming 

posts.

i'll try to distinguish in the title so for those of you who think , "what a joke"

that way, you can easily pass on by. smile.

may i also ask, & ask this kindly.
blogging is not for the faint of heart.
it's a brave move for the bloggers that expose themselves
& their personal beliefs.
so having said that, may i please ask that if you have something snarky to say
please choose to not too.
while this is indeed a public blog,
i pour my heart & soul & large amount of time and prayer goes into
every single post.
i've never left an anonymous, rude or ugly comment to anyone.
i'm just humbly asking for the same.
thank you

~~~

i'll close with one of the verses i've prayed over my girls since savannah was first born

ephesians 3.14-19

When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. 

And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.

a ball & a homecoming dance

disclaimers & details regarding today's post: 

1. i have no problem shamelessly downloading images

from my daughter's facebook page

while she's away at college.

2. it makes me sad that i couldn't photograph her

live & in person

for her first semi-formal,

the scarlet ball

3. my girls wrote super sweet things on each other's facebook wall

regarding their weekend.

4. reasons such as this, make me love fb.

5. some days it takes a village

6. we have an unreasonable love for cocktail rings

7. it is impossible to shoot two daughters

who have to be two different places

at the exact same time.

8. i do not love one daughter more than the other.

one had her group's photoshoot at our home

hence the onslaught of her photos

9. i'm certain there is blog etiquette regarding the number of appropriate images per post.

10. & i apologize for the deliberate violation.

11. little sisters that sit on the front stairs & giggle

are the cutest thing

12. friends that respond to an SOS 

are the best

13. three daughters who have a great weekend

even if all at the same time

make for a wonderful weekend