Tuesday, September 13, 2011


this is how i figure it.
i'm a predictable person.

i'd love to say i'm adventurous and spontaneous.
but the here's the naked truth:
i sit in the same area at the same church i've gone to for 10 years.
if i find a restaurant i like with an entree i like, chances are i'll order that entree each time i return
which will be frequently.
the servers (most of them) at my favorite mexican spot, know my order.
i go to bed around the same time each night.
i vacation in the same area.
i went to nursing school specifically to take care of children with cancer
i still work at the same pediatric hospital in which i did my internship back in 1991.
if i like a book or movie, chances are i read it or watch it more than once.

i don't like it when my friend and her family move to nebraska.
or when the power company slaughters the dozens of bradford pears
that have lined my property for the last 15+ years.
i guess it's safe to say i don't accept change very easily.

i know. snore right?

i would love to say that change excites me
that i thrive on new adventures
but it doesn't & i don't.
if someone could please make these characteristics sound more positive, i would love it
i don't want to sound like an old predictable stick in the mud.

but in the midst of change
i can feel relationships strengthen despite distances.
i have had more heart conversations with those i love,
even though i don't visibly see them as frequently.
in the midst of change, i have a front row seat as those whose lives are changing
are deepening their own walk with the Lord.
in the midst of change,i am forced gently reminded to look outside myself
& depend on others.
while i don't prefer to be needy, i have found strength through some
of the best friends i feel like i've had in a long time.

a landscape company is coming today.
they'll start planting trees. lots of trees.
with all my beautiful bradfords gone, the view i currently have is less than pleasant.
( dan's probably cracking up at that comment as i've loudly grumbled and complained about it for weeks)
it's expensive. it's labor intensive.
but the view from my back porch will change again
& will be beautiful.
one day.

& one day,
i'll be okay with all the other change that's going on my little world.
my view is slowly starting to change.
the view from my heart.
& it will seem beautiful again too.

"The beautiful thing about change is that it provides a contrast for the people and things that offer us strength and stability. These steady things in life become so visible when everything else is swaying. I treasure these times of change. My family is moving, but at the same time and in all the ways that count - we don't move at all."

kristin armstrong, found here


traci said...

i am probably a walking contradiction. i love change but when I read your post I had to chuckle. i too sit in the same place at church every week and go to bed a the same time. hmmmm. do i really like change? gorgeous images paige.

slip4 said...

Paige, as far as predictability and aversion to change, we could be twins! So you aren't alone. Love the sunflowers...they have brightened my (very predictable) day!

Kat said...

Cue the Billy Joel music..."I love you just the way you are..." You are perfect, just the way you are! xo

Finding Home said...

Such a great post. We should all accept our own realities so gracefully. Thanks for sharing! Laura

3 Peanuts said...

We are SO much alike Paige. I am not good with change and if I find something I like...I stick with is (including an entree at a restaurant. M husband though embraces adventure and change more than I and he makes me move and try new things. Change is hard BUT with change comes growth. Always. Change makes us grow as humans. So as uncomfortable as it is for us, I guess change ultimately is good.


And so sorry about your Bradford pears. That would have made me so upset.

Simone said...

I love this post Paige - and really get what you are saying.

I just wrote a "back to school" post on my blog, my children going back to school in Sept always brings out a) a realisation at how quickly time is passing and b) that I need to do something new, even if I don't know what it is!

I am a creature of habit, probably even more than I realise I am.

But then, I do think that sometimes too much change is just not necessary - and if you're happy with the way things are, then why do we need to change them. Sometimes it can feel like change just for the sake of it....I'm not sure :) There's a lot to be said for "if you're happy, just be"....some things need to stay the same, right?! X

Charissa Steyn said...

Loved this post! I can so relate ;) I call myself adventurous- but when it gets down too it I'm pretty safe and hate change!!!

Jennifer said...

I, too, find so much comfort in consistency. One of my best friends just recently moved and I sent her the blog quote you posted. Thanks for that :)

Christina said...

i love you all the more after reading this. ; )

Deborah said...

I really appreciate your post today. I too find comfort in the predictability of my life. My ideas of change is seasonal decorations for the house. ha But what I've come to know is change happens whether I want it to or not. So this year I've tried to make a point of exploring new things (books, restaurants, traveling, etc) and even though I still prefer my life of "same", I'm learning to embrace change.

Love the sunflowers.

sara@augustfields said...

paige. this is a good one girl. we have so many similarities. i will say though, like you, recognizing the rewards woven in the changes can be a beautiful thing.

have a good day :)

Kelli said...

I have a tough time with change myself...I always order the same thing, sit in the same place at church and at BSF, thrive on routine, etc. At the same time, change is good so that we don't become complacent...so that God can show us new adventures for His glory.
Um, you had me at the sunflowers btw!

Michelle said...

I too don't welcome change with open arms! I suppose there's a "safeness" real or imagined about routine. My husband is the spontaneous one & I actually do enjoy this about him...wishing I could be more like that!

Tiffini said...

yes..me too. to all of your words.

in retrospect I am reminded that I have always said as I grow older i want to always be willing to change.
I think it is harder to change as you get older.
maybe why all of the hard places..to make me look deep and live out what I've always said?
you made me think:)

Curtis said...

Oh Paige, I could have written this post. I too HATE change. I hated it when our son and his wife moved 5.5 hours from us, really did not like it when both of our boys moved out with their friends after high school and when they were going to college. I want EVERYTHING to stay the same. We too vacationed at the same spot, renting the same vacation house on the beach year after year, my wife and I go to the same Mexican Restaurant every week, and yep order the same thing. I have had the same friends for most of my life and love the history we have. . Scripture tells us there will be change, and that God will help us through it. Oh how I am a stubborn man, I resist it, with all my being. When my wife and I decided to sell our home that we had lived in for 20 years, I got physically sick, but that change was a good one. And when my mother died over 17 years ago, oh how my world crumbled. I tell this story to anyone who will listen. On the day that my mother died, as I was leaving the hospital, I got into my car, and when I started it, on the radio was a song with the chorus of: " Life is about changing, nothing ever stays the same". Oh how I hated those words at first, but gradually over time I have clung to those words, and they have given me comfort as life has changed, some of it for the better, some of it just because that is what life does. So though we are creatures of habit, we must embrace change and thank God for it, for in it we grow and hopefully become closer to Him.
Blessing to you and yours
Curtis & Sherrie

Lolo @ The Adventures of Stig and Lolo said...

Ummm....whats wrong with change? If it aint broke, dont fix it, right ;)

I like playing it safe too. Im a list maker, vacation researcher, jeans and flip flops kinda gal. Pretty simple.
But every once in awhile we need to flip the switch. Remember why we are alive, ya know?

All I do know is I would be seriously ticked off at the Power Co! All those beautiful blooming pear trees. Such a shame :(

Thanks for sharing. As always :)

Jodi said...

I am the same way too, i have a hard time with change in my life. Change scares me to death and I know too that sometimes you need change in your life. I do not depend on others; I try not to be needy or atleast show it! AND, yes... I park in the same area at the walmart parking lot every time I go! :)


Privet and Holly said...

Like most of
life, it's a
balance, isn't
it? We have had
spring break at
the same place
every year. My
kids say it's like
"coming home" for
those two weeks
each year, and what
better feeling than
xx Suzanne