Monday, February 27, 2012

teenagers, the kardashians & how i do what i do

a couple posts ago i received the following comment...

Anonymous said...
"I love your blog. I love your family because of your blog. You seem to have raised unbelievable girls. I am so impressed....ALL THE TIME. And I am faithfully trying to raise my own Christian children.
What I dont understand is how one of your kids said they would want to live with the Kardashians???
And it's not so much that they named a pop culture family...but how? Do you let them watch that show? I am actually very curious. It seems so hard these days to raise decent kids. And you really seem to be doing it. But do you all have People magazines around the house...OK Magazine and all that junk? Do you let your kids watch TMZ and such shows? I am so confused. I do not let my kids watch that junk. I will NOT let them watch shows such as Glee. How can I teach them one thing, but then let them watch that type of smut? The same goes for the Kardashians to me. So do your kids just kind of "know" about that family from the media...and love them because they have 3 girls and are similiar to you all? (Cuz that is where the similarities would end!!! They are as far from a Christian family as I can tell....or at least they act like it!)
So can you let me know how you monitor magazines, tv shows, books, pop culture with your kids?
Thanks for being so open and honest on your blog. It helps me get through my weeks and helps me be a better person. I have never written to you before. This comment from Em about the Kardashians (and your comment about it) just really really stummped me!!"


i've spent some time over the last few days thinking about an answer for her
& let me also say, thanks for asking. i'll try to humbly explain my decisions.

let me first say something~~~
 i hope i never ever ever
 give anyone reason to believe that i think i'm a rockstar
awesome mom.
i'm a type A , first born female
raising 4 females
& only by the grace of god are we where we are today.
it's not me alone...i can assure you.
i fuss, over react and often times my attention is on this computer
more than on them.
yes it's true. 



secondly, there's a super tiny, fine, arbitrary line
in my writing that i try not to cross.
i share basically everything but our social security numbers
but i will not share my girls faults or failures
bad attitudes or mistakes here on my blog.
(unless completely approved by one of them, but even then that's rare)
we'll keep that private.
 i will however, share their accomplishments & their daily victories here.

while i'm as real as i can be,
i'm well aware that sharing "the good" may sometimes give you the perception
that things are always smooth sailing.
& honestly, most days they are,
but not always.


we live in a culture where as parents we can easily be eaten alive by
guilt
my desire
is to encourage you in your relationships with your children
not make anyone feel guilty.
honestly, we do that enough to ourselves don't we?


we don't have a zillion rules around here.
i have high expectations, but not hard & fast rules.
& dan and i taper expectations per each girl.
my girls however know where i stand
on premarital sex
underage drinking
and a few other biggies.
i am in no way, wishy washy.




ok...back to the kardashians.
sorta.
yes, i allow my teenager to watch some of the kardashian show.
yes i think that one sister has a horrible mouth & is horrid to her mom.
i have no idea what TMZ is.
no i do not purchase OK or People but yes i read People
(while in the check out line at Publix)
along with a vast array of different publications.
 i feel it is very important to be culturally relevant
especially while raising teenagers
( & my hubby is a highschool assistant principal-he totally needs to be in the loop!)
&  yes, as my girls get older,
part of my parenting philosophy
is that i prepare them for the stage my savannah currently is in...
as parents, we are ultimately preparing them to leave the nest.
( sadly)
so, that means that at certain times
for certain issues
as i see fit for each child
i begin to give them more & more space
more & more grace
more & more chances to make their own decisions
while still guiding them
this also instills in them that i trust them...

my deep thinking is pretty much currently on overload
as i prepare for the pearl event
but i will gladly answer a few of the questions that i often times receive in some upcoming 
posts.
i'll try to distinguish in the title so for those of you who think , "what a joke"
that way, you can easily pass on by. smile.

may i also ask, & ask this kindly.
blogging is not for the faint of heart.
it's a brave move for the bloggers that expose themselves
& their personal beliefs.
so having said that, may i please ask that if you have something snarky to say
please choose to not too.
while this is indeed a public blog,
i pour my heart & soul & large amount of time and prayer goes into
every single post.
i've never left an anonymous, rude or ugly comment to anyone.
i'm just humbly asking for the same.
thank you
~~~
i'll close with one of the verses i've prayed over my girls since savannah was first born
ephesians 3.14-19
When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. 
And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.

68 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hmmm, how interesting. I was planning to google "The Kardashians" today because one of the young women at church who helps me a Awana said she watched it. Then made the comment that it was smut and shouldn't be on tv on the Lord's day. I was so troubled about it and still am personally. Watching tv like that goes against every part of God's charactor and is a very slippery slope. Philippians 4:8 is a great example of what we should put in our minds. Now, don't let me fool you, I have allowed plenty of trash in my mind and in my children's minds (they are adults now) through the years and didn't really "get it" until I really got serious about reading the Bible. It was then that I stopped watching most tv (gotta watch my sports and Pickers, etc.) and listening to any secular music. I am much better off. That is why I was going to google the Kardashians because I wasn't 100% sure what it was. Ignorance is bliss!! I pray thea God will give you wisdom in this area of parenting. It is very obvious you have done a fabulous job raising your daughters and you are an inspiration to many. Your testimony of God's goodness is very powerful. I raised my children in church too but when it came down to the "nitty gritty" parenting...tv, reading materials, clothes, I didn't stand firm and it is one of my biggest regrets. :(

Love Being A Nonny said...

I was anxious to read your response. It was PERFECT.... Just as I knew it would be. :) I must say, I was a little taken back by the question from the reader. Hmmm........ Wonder how old her kids are????????

Simone said...

What a great response & post Paige.

I really liked what you have to say here....my own blog is about being positive and focusing on the "good stuff" so i really get what you say in yours.

I love what you say about offering encouragement because that is exactly what you do for me....I don't for one minute think that things are perfect in your home all the time simply because no one's life is like that....but with every post you inspire & encourage me and really prompt me to think. You are a great example.

Finally....how did I not know that your lovely Dan is an assistant principle....those lucky lucky students!!

Have a great week Paige Xx

Simone said...

And clearly I meant "principal"....sorry. Writing this on tiny iPhone screen! X

Renee said...

Thank you for this. Sometimes other parents think that I am too relaxed. They think my Emily knows too much of the world. I let her choose most of her own music and let her have a Facebook account. She has access to the Internet. She is 14. She is a good girl. She loves God and exhibits self control. She has given me no reason not to trust her. We have a good mother daughter relationship. She trusts me. She talks to me. I believe she was born to leave. We are not perfect. I believe in grace. Your words spoke to me. Thank you. I am one of those moms who truly admires the way you have raised your girls. I want to do a good job with my girl. It's nice to know that I am really not an inappropriate mom.

Lindsey said...

What a perfect response. After years of working with high school and college aged girls, I have seen parenting styles that range from helicopter to completely hands off. While there are exceptions to ever rule...more often than not, I see these styles backfire. Through the blog and sweet friends of mine that know you personally, it seems that you and Dan have found a way to strike a balance between the two...and your sweet daughters are the better for it. You're not perfect...they aren't perfect...but no one is! It's so refreshing to see what the Lord can do through the imperfections when we take the time to go to Him!

Anonymous said...

Hi-I'm raising 3 girls (17, 16, 11) and feel the same way you do...your response was thoughtful, eloquent, and much appreciated. I admire you through your blog. Wish I could have signed up for Pearl event (but live too far away).

SHERRY HART said...

Well said. You can't shelter them from everything. It sounds like you do the best you can.....and I applaud you!

CCB said...

Paige, great response. I have found myself feeling better off not watching a lot of the shows I had once found myself enjoying- Kardashians, reality on MTV, shows on ABC Family {which, in my opinion, is WORSE- way WORSE, than E! and MTV}. I do find myself influenced in some manners, even though my life is nothing like theirs, etc. So, while those shows do nothing for me, except help me to hyper focus on things that really aren't where my focus should be. I find it is so important to be in the know about the things that our children will encounter. I am sure you take as many opportunities as you can to use examples with your daughters about how things are and how they appear. They seem well-rounded and very involved with you. I think the end result of parenting is to have a healthy relationship with our kids. It is going to look different for each of us as a family and then for each of us with each individual child. I appreciate your response. I am sure you get all kind of opinions because of your openness and honesty. I hope you are never discouraged because you really do uplift so many! Your examples and sharing are helpful. I normally do not comment, but just felt that your response was so good. You honored your decisions, honored the person asking--- a nice balance, I'd say! And I didn't know Dan was an asst principal either, that is neat to know. He seems to be in a position well-suited for him :) Y'all are a great family and one I am happy to read about. Take care!

Between You and Me said...

I absolutely LOVE your response.

I've been in the middle of my largest adjustment to parenting so far because Luke is approaching 12 and he's changing...needing more independence.

There is such a fine line between being too protective and not protective enough.

I'm trying my hardest to find the balance and not lose my mind in the process. :)

After being in youth ministry for almost a decade, I can say that you guys seem to have found the balance. Part of letting them grow up is allowing them to make some decisions on their own, while they're still in your home and able to discuss things with you. What a shame for a child to have never made the first decision for themselves until they leave for college...in our experience, those kids have more of a tendency to go "off the deep end."

I'm sure that you are able to have many a wonderful discussion after you watch the show with her. :)

You put yourself out there in this post...and I REALLY benefitted from it.

Cheryl said...

Paige,
Lovely response. Mine are now adults... sort of....most of the time! ;-) I raised them as it seems you are doing. I give them to God each day.... and take them back, as I am not always sure He is working the way I want Him to. Ahhhh, that's just me.
I do love that you shine the light on the positive. It is beautiful. They are clearly a blessing to you and Dan, as the two of you are to them.
You know only to well that God is in control.
My heart is with you all.
Love them to bits.
Prepare for Pearls. I do wish I lived closer, as I would love to attend. Possibly next year I will be in a better place emotionally to travel. I know you understand.
Cheryl

Jboo said...

Love your response and this post!
Keep up the good week!

kimberly said...

No, you are a rock star. Truly. I love your parenting - while it is not the same parenting that we do here with four boys, you are an inspiration on so many levels. Your girls are so incredibly lucky to have you and Dan.
Big love,
xx

Lemonade Makin' Mama said...

I sure love you Miss Paige. You are the real deal- though I already knew that. What kills me, is that I live so far away from you I can't have iced tea and glean some of that mentor mama wisdom (YeS I do think you have great wisdom) from you! I want so badly to be the kind of real mama you describe. I know it's not always sunshine and roses but I know that you're pursuing the right path for not only your self, but your family and that's what I aspire to do myself. I'm SO glad you posted on this because it's getting harder and harder for me, as a mama of upper elementary kiddos to know how much to shelter and how much to share... that in the world but not of the world thing... always a challenge. THnak you for being who you are and for the honesty and sweetness that pours out of you. You're a darn good blogger.
Mwah!
Sasha

Sheri said...

Well, I disagree..... YOU ARE A ROCKSTAR. I think you do a wonderful job of raising your girls. I can tell you that just from the experience of my two, the friends they have that are over sheltered, they are the ones that are wild behind their parents back. I love your honest approach. I still text Robert at 19 and in college and ask him anything I want to know, might not always get the answer I want but both of my kids know I will ask anything at anytime - LOL. I love that you display the "good" in your family - you are truly a "model" for so many. I cannot wait to meet you in Nashville and hug and as Sibi say's "squeel". xoxoxoxo

Susan M said...

I have never commented on a blog. I've just recently started reading some blogs and yours is one I stumbled upon because you are a "friend of a friend", and I keep coming back day after day! I just want to say thanks for putting yourself and your family out here for us to enjoy, and to thank you for your graceful answer to a very ungraceful, finger-pointing, nasty question. One of the things I feel we, as parents, can do is shelter our children too much. How will they ever be able to handle the real world as teenagers and adults if they have never seen or experienced things that are "different" from themselves? My heart aches for the children who aren't allowed to "see" things for themselves. Don't get me wrong, balance is a very hard thing to achieve as parents, and we're all striving for that perfect balance, and you seem to be doing a wonderful job of it!

Debby said...

Question well answered.
Just not sure about the first comment today.
I don't watch the show that is being spoken of...but in some ways watching it might be a leason in how not to be.
You are such a good Mom and Dan such a good Dad. Wonderful daughters......we can all learn from you.
(((((HUGS)))))

Anonymous said...

Let us ALL remember that we should parent and live by GRACE(God's GRACE) His infinite GRACE!!! Let us remember to extend that GRACE to others. Judge not lest Ye be judged!!! I couldn't have a blog because I would be eaten alive. I am Wwwwaaaaayyyy too sensitive.I really admire Paige and others like her who put themselves out there for our encouragement NOT our belittlement. We ALL make mistakes and we are ALL human born into sin and fighting it every day if we are born again. Let us be about the work of encouragment to our sisters in Christ. None of us are remotely perfect some of us are forgiven!!! Christ longs for ALL to be forgiven. So lets encourage and edify. Thank you Paige for your blog it encourages me to rise to the challenge, to walk the talk, and live life for Christ.

Much love in Him,
Amber

Lori Lucas said...

Miss Paige-- Clearly, the proof is in the pudding and you have done an unbelievable job. Part of raising one child, or a brood, is to let learn. Sometimes that means letting them make a mistake. Or two. (And I am not speaking of your girls, but of teenagers in general.) As a high school teacher, I have unfortunately seen what happens when a child fears they have "failed" or not lived up to "perfection". Children have to know they can not be perfect and still be loved. Unconditionally loved. Another thing I have taught all five of my children from an early age is that it is good to have your own thoughts and opinions, but you MUST be willing to stand up for those opinions and never, ever hide behind anonymousness or else, why have those convictions? One last quick story: My youngest, a boy, was watching the Kardashians or some equally (stupid) show. I could hear it in the other room as I cooked. After a few minutes I went into where Luke was and simply said, "I really hope that Jesus does not return while you are watching that show." He did not argue, but he did not turn the channel. A couple of days later he had a friend over and the friend said, "Hey let's watch (whatever the stupid show was)." I heard Luke say, "I think there is other stuff on we can watch." It's the little things that make our "Mama Hearts" happy!! Keep up the great work....Lori L.
(P.S. I really want to order one of those wrap bracelets.)

Anonymous said...

I have never commented on your blog before, but I am a faithful reader. I think your photos are beautiful and I just enjoy your decorating, and honestly just seeing what your family is wearing (yes, I get fashion tips from you and your kids). I am the mother of two elementary age kiddos. It can be a difficult job to determine how much to expose them to, and sometimes I know I've made mistakes (yes, I let my 11 yr old watch some episodes of the Big Bang Theory), but I'm also pretty sure that if they have big issues it will not be because I was not vigilant about every tv show, magazine, or book. My husband and I do our best (like most people, I think) to let our kids know we love them, what we expect from them, and what we hope for them. We also very much want them to live the lives they choose. I know this has become long-winded, but I just wanted to say that I really like that your girlies seem to be individuals and that you seem to encourage them to be themselves. I think that is a wonderful thing to give a child. Have a wonderful day.

Cathy Penton said...

Hey beautiful girl....you are such a lovely grounded mamma that lets her girls shine with the light in their hearts and that is how the world should be...Each child is so individual and I applaud you for not sharing any negatives...Talking to and sharing with your girls how you feel is really all that is important... And really if we protect too much the world can be an awfully scary place and we don't ever want that for them... WE WANT THEM TO EMBRACE and LOVE IT!!!!!!! Love to you my beautiful friend.... c xoxoxoxoxo

Anonymous said...

Paige,

I have raised two incredibly awesome, fabulous children. They are both now in their early twenties. They both LOVE Jesus and have hearts that serve like no other. I have been told that I should write a book about parenting. And with those comments I laugh. They did not have the most perfect household growing up. Heck parenting for me was mostly shooting from the hip. I am as fractured as they come and yet I am a child of God. He loves me for me and that is how I have raised my kids. I tried not to shelter them but expose them to all aspects of life. Our world is full of that! Yes my kids watched M-TV, watched R-rated movies and loved Rap. But they also heard from me about the Savior who loved them sooo much ans guess what? Through all that other stuff they heard me. Yeah so your kids watch the Kardashians. Who cares? The importance (to me anyway) is that you are talking/listening to them thru this whole process and I believe you pmost likely are. Keep up the good work! Diana

3 Peanuts said...

Okay...now the comments page looks is so different... But GREAT response Paige. Being a good parent does not mean wrapping our child in bubble wrap and isolating them from anything sinful or hurtful. Our job is to teach our children how to see the good and evil in life and how to chose what God wants for them. Will and I watch Modern Family together sometimes and people have questioned me on that because of the gay couple. Really? Will and I talk about it. We have dialogue.

I think there is a balance. I just let Will get a Fb account. I so did NOT want him on FB but again, I'd rather trust him, teach him and have him be able to talk to me than forbid something and cut him off. He is almost 15!

You are a fabulous mama!!!

Adventures of the Rocking C said...

You are such an inspiration of grace,
and I thank you for sharing!

Dori said...

Well Done!

Johnson Party of seven! said...

Paige- you are an amazing momma!! Love you so much!

elaine said...

Clap, clap, clap!
People should never judge... I have 2 boys 6 and 12 and everyday I try my best to teach them what is right and wrong but the most important fair...
I agree with the others you are a rock star mom and it is okay to read People, it is okay to watch Glee or Kardashians... You have beautiful daughters, I love your blog and pictures but is your heart that gets me.:)

Amy said...

Raising daughters in a culture and age like we are in - staying relevant and yet walking by grace is no easy task. You and Dan are being authentic parents, which your children will love you for. Love you and your transparent heart my sweet friend.

Heather said...

Paige, I loved this post. With four girls, like yourself, this is something that I think of regularly. My girls are younger than yours, but we are quickly approaching new challenges as they are becoming more culturaly aware. I struggle with finding the right balance between teaching them to be good Godly girls and allowing them to be "culturaly cool" like their friends! (I hope that makes sense.) You seem to have a good balance and the proof is in the amazing, beautiful, Godly women you are raising...
Keep up what you're doing. You're amazing, your girls are amazing,and your blog is amazing!

Cate said...

Paige, beautifully said. You can't shelter your kids from everything and perhaps, I'm too liberal, but I feel that I'd rather my daughter (age 10) to ask me the questions that she faces in the real world rather than ask her friends. You have built a beautiful relationship with your daughters that trust you and you trust them. I really admire you and what a wonderful Mother you are.

Keep it up Rockstar!

Catherine

KTG said...

That's my favorite Bible verse!! Christ needs to make His home in our hearts.
I take that verse for myself and now I need to pray it for my girls ( 3 and 1 year old..one blue eyed,one brown eyed ;)

Anonymous said...

Great response. My 11 yr old son has just started watching modern family & the big bang theory this year...gasp! He loves comedy and so do we and I would rather him watch this than violence. His friend from school & church constantly tells him that his mom says they are not appropriate, matter of fact there's a lot of judging coming out of that house...but this same mom drags him to nfl football games every sunday around the drunks & potty mouthed adults. Point being, we all have our own unique beliefs, but I truly believe the vast majority of us parents are trying our best to raise God loving' citizens...so a little grace is good.;)
Melanie
TN

Anonymous said...

I write this to those that are followers of Christ...
For are commanded to sharpen one another (Proverbs 72:17)- not just sit back and let the things of this world deceive us.

As I write this, I am writing to myself for I by no means have it all together!!! We are all sinners in need of a Savior, I of which am the greatest in need of God's grace.

With that in mind, I write with a heavy heart... Seems that responses have been stated based on man's emotions and thoughts instead of looking to truth as the answer. I bet most of us would agree with our mouths that the Word of God is the ONLY thing that stands forever and passes all time. So, I beg to ask, why not look to it for direction?? What is culturally "in" will come and go, but God's Word is the same forever.

2 Corinthians 10:5
We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,

WOW- We as Christ followers are to lean on Him and strive to take EVERY thought captive in obedience to Him- only by His grace, but that is what we aim for...

Philippians 4:8
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

In reminding myself of these verses and seeking truth, it helps me as a mom have wisdom in raising my children and pray it might be helpful to someone in the blog world as well...


Blessings to you, Paige, and your precious family.

Anonymous said...

Oh goodness, this comment makes my heart (and head) hurt just a little bit. Had the question been asked without what I intrepreted as judgment, whether intentional or not, I would have been able to receive it better.

Please don't let this one comment, or any others, make you shy about sharing. This blog is your family's yearbook and will be a tremendous treasure, for all of you, in the years to come.

This little hiccup is really just a grow in grace opportunity!

Anyone, who is a frequent or long time follower of your blog, including the commenter, knows that the Knudsen family loves the Lord above all other things.

Destiny

P.S. Something tells me that Miss Em would be equally as happy watching KUWTK with the sound off. If I was a betting woman, I'd put my money on the fact that it is the fashions, the fabulous outfits and accessories, that make her heart skip a beat...

Alecia said...

Well said Paige. I trust your (you & Dan)ability to hear God's voice & look to Him for guideance in shepherding each one of your girls. I think there is wisdom in that...not every child is the same. I tuck away wisdom for the day I'm a wife & mother. :-)

PS...I LOVE Madie's dress...stunning & those shoes!!! Yes...quite the fashionable family you have there!

Jen Kershner said...

I agree completely about raising our girls to prepare them to leave the nest. I also think most of us do the best job we can. However. I will say that while I was going through hard times with Maddie through her teenage years I felt so alone. I didn't know a lot of parents of teenagers but the ones I did only spoke of the good things. That made me feel like I was a horrible mom and the only one having any trouble and that all the other kids were perfect honor students who fell asleep reading their bibles every night. I would have been so grateful if someone would have shared with me their struggles so I would have known that I wasn't alone. Does that make sense? I totally see where you are coming from about sharing just the good on your blog though. Also, I think just by stating that there ARE struggles, that you just aren't sharing them here that it helps other parents that feel like they are alone. I truly hope this comment sounds the way I intended. I admire the job you are doing with your girls! Hugs, Jen

Jacqueline said...

I love your response in this post...very well said! All your girls need to know is how much you and your husband love them and it is very clear that you do!

Katie said...

Dear Paige, I only have one little girl who isn't even one yet and I am probably only a couple years older than your savannah but I sometimes see you as a mentor of sorts. You have gone down paths in your parent that I haven't gone down yet and I so wish I could have coffee with you someday and pick your brain. I can't imagine what challenge raising 4 girls is! I'm nervous enough about the one I have but I'm also excited and I think reading your blog is partly why. Thank you for that!

patricia e said...

Paige,
What a great response here ~ I think you're an amazing mom, great blogger..You are as honest and humbling as they come..I enjoy reading your blog on a daily basis, because YOU ARE REAL. Your heart pours out LOVE...that says it all! Happy Tuesday! <3

Kristin said...

perfectly written, perfectly your heart.

Andrea said...

Very good and kind post. Most of us do the best we can and it doesn't help to find out that others are thinking we've dropped the ball. The thing is there is no special recipe for raising children and most of us do the best we can. Understand that we can teach our children and lead by example but sometimes everychild will want to take a peek over the fence. No harm no foul. It's normal. I have to say you don't have to be a Christian raise kind and moral children. I'm a Chritian but it always bothers me that people seem to think the two are elusive. I have been following your blog and always enjoy your perspective. Ignore the trolls.

Andrea said...

I should have reread my post. Sorry for the typo. Christian not Chritian. Also smiled when I read the post where the woman mentioned Big Bang Theory and Modern Family. I watch both. Are Christians supposed humorless prigs?

Colleen said...

I thought your response was so gracious. I'd like to give the commenter the benefit of the doubt and assume she was curious and not judging. I firmly believe that you should never leave a comment on someone's blog that you wouldn't say to their face! Your daughters seem lovely and I enjoy reading about them. Having two boys, it's fun to ready about girly stuff :)

giosmama26@yahoo.com said...

I love your blog and I enjoy reading it. I love how you share your stories, pictures and everything else. I think you are an amazing mother/friend to many and person in general. Your response about the Kardashians didn't bother me any. I thought it was kinda cute. I mean who wouldn't want to be rich, famous, adorable clothes, beautiful hair and makeup, etc etc, right? Some people just need to chill out. My son is eight years old and I let him watch the Disney Channel while others parents say it's too harsh for kids. I mean come on! It's up to us as parents to teach our children right from wrong and send them off into the world in hopes that they learned the lessons we taught. It isn't good to keep them from the true everyday world. I let me son see what I feel is necessary and he is an amazing person, student and so very polite to all. I have zero regrets nor should you. You rock in all you do. Don't ever stop being you!

AndeM1 said...

Thank you for being so honest and real. I am a licensed clincial social worker and the children I worry about the most are overprotected children who haven't a clue what they will be dealing with when they are out in the REAL world without their parents to overprotect them.

Thank you for showing that you have to allow your children some freedoms while you are present and close for them so that you can have real discussions with them about how your values and beliefs fit into the world that is oh so ....not perfect.

If we teach our children good values and beliefs they have exactly what they need to put the Kardashians into perspective (as I am quite certain your daughter does). You aren't raising incapable or ignorant girls...quite the opposite! They appear to be strong, intelligent and beautiful young women. (perfection is a pipe dream!)

Thanks for being you!

chrissiwithab said...

Dear Paige,
I love your blog. If time would permit I would so be at the Pearl Event to cheer on all of you. Each of you offer a gift that far exceeds my expectations with each post. Your blogs amaze me.
I just wanted to share a bit from the "other side". I was lucky enough to be raised by lovely Christians who gave me a pretty long leash (be it pink and studded). I no real rules as to what I could or could not read or watch. I was raised to respect my family and honor my Lord. The only "rule" regarding media was to know that it was not real. The movies and magazines and tv were all scripted and written to entice, my parents made sure that I was made aware of this. If I ever blurred that line of real and not real, they were there to talk and explain and guide. I still walk with the Lord each day and yet, I will grab a People magazine while waiting for my haircut. I still know real and not real. Hype and PR. From the small glimpse of what I see of your girls, you do rock. Like it or not sweetie. You juggle careers, family and commitments while serving the Lord and trying to make time for you. The world is much smaller now and we cannot live in a bubble. We can choose who we pray to, who we trust and to follow our hearts. Seems to me you and Dan have given your daughters loving and faithful hearts. Blessings.

Kerri said...

Paige, what a wonderful response! It is interesting that those who want to leave negative comments disguise themselves as Anonymous! You already know that I think you are an amazing mom and mentor! And I savor every word you type! So many of us bloggers are very similar and have similar beliefs, but reality is we can't shelter our girls from the rest of society and your words clearly explained this!
I am so sad I am going to miss you at the Pearl Event. You have an open ended intivitation to come to Boston for tea and a day of shopping! XOXO

Jennifuzz said...

Great response Paige. I agree with everything you wrote. Hugs Jen

Tracy is ... Loving Pretty Things said...

OH MY GOSH. I love this.

This is the *exact* attitude I prayerfully take raising our one girl...

Watching the Kardashians/People is in my opinion relevant to parenting (as well as the Bachelor...there, I said it!)...

And highlighting the highs of your family on your blog is an amazing testimony to clearly knowing the boundary of what makes 'family business'.

I have loved having an eagle-eye view of your sweet family, from your amazing photographs, to the sweetest stories that you share. I appreciate the Lord allowing our paths to cross so that I can continue to have amazing examples of what to do...to counter balance my Kardashian/Bachelor/People examples primarily of 'what not to do'!

You make me smile. xoxo

SSM said...

You are brave.
You are kind.
You are loved.

Well said! :)

Maggie said...

Very well put as usual!!

Mary said...

I agree with so many others-- well said! I work as a jr. high and high school substitute teacher, taught for seven years previously, and now have two teenagers of my own. I, too, believe it's important to be culturally relevant as well as informed/educated. My husband and I would rather talk over these matters now with our kids and help them learn to handle and approach the "stuff" they encounter in our society rather than throw them innocently to the wolves upon entering college. And we have always said that our home is a safe place. If and when mistakes are made, we want our children to feel secure that we will comfort and guide them (not rescue them from consequences). Interestingly enough, our 16 year-old son is appalled by much of what is shown on TV and refuses to watch!

Paige, you are an excellent mom and your love for your family is evident! Can't wait to meet you next week!

thatshowiblogroll said...

Thank you thank you for your gracious response. I just recently started a blog and while I haven't had any snarky comments yet I'm sure they'll come and I just love the inspiration you are to handle any adversity with grace. Have a blessed day!

Amanda said...

Love your blog. I think you are so precious. I thought the commenter's question was valid though. She was very complementary of you and seemed to truly want to know your stance. Did I read it all wrong? I had the same question when I saw the Kardashian thing the other day. I truly was curious what your stance was. I tend to be very over-protective (my kids are way younger than yours) and I often wonder when lines will become less hard for me and how I'll know when to ease up and allow more in. I'm so conflicted on it. I want so bad to guard hearts but I don't want them to leave my house completely clueless either. I am trusting God's grace and guidance to author every step.
I am glad you responded to the question...I'm just sorry it hurt you the way it seemed to.

Mrs.B said...

If I could see you right now I'd give you a big old southern HUG! ;) Thanks for being a Real Mama! LOVE & blessings to you. I think you are doing a fine job. I have to admit, I kind of thought about that a second too when I read it, but remembered my OWN teenage daughter knows who they are too...and has watched it in her room, in My home. Lord help us all not to judge another sister who is trying to do her best!
Woo Hoo for the Pearl Event. I know y'all are gonna have a beautiful, fun time!

LLH Designs said...

I love the way you let your light shine, Paige! {Those words are really on my heart today.} Brave of you to put your story out there again and again. To God be the glory!

xo,
Linsey

PS - I know nothing about the Kardashians. I shelter myself, I guess! :)

Teresa said...

Hey Paige, Enjoyed visiting your blog and seeing all the great things you are up to!
There was an ad at the end of this post with a young girl's photo asking me if I wanted to meet her. A live chat thing. Creepy!! I'm sure you didn't mean for it to be there...just wanted to let you know.

Talia said...

Beautiful response. Love you and your blog!

Anonymous said...

You don't know it but as another commenter said "you are a sort of mentor to me" . . .I RARELY comment, you don't know me AT ALL, but truly, you are a shining example to me.

While I am in no way judging people who do not allow their teens to watch tv such as the Kardashian's that kind of mum would be OVERWHELMING for me to even try to look up to or emulate. I just can't be THAT strict. I personally don't want to be that strict and do beleive that in this day and age sheltering an older kid to that extent has it's own downfalls.

Your girls have GREAT examples in their own home and with the people they choose to be around on a daily basis. I don't believe they will be lead down the wrong path by watching some Kardashian's on tv and their antics now and then.

My opinion really won't matter to you or your ver Godly Christian friends, as I do not attend church (but I am not a bad person) but honestly, one of the reason's I don't attend church is because of this attitude, that you have to (or are meant to?) shelter kids soooo very, very much, the "nitty gritty" magazines like People and tv shows like Glee I just can't see as something my kids NEED to be so completely protected from. I don't want them thinking I am so judgemental for one thing. They KNOW what is right and wrong.

Your girl's CLEARLY know what is right and wrong, and I love how you are SO real and that I can relate to you. You are not HYPER judgementally protectively Christian. Some people would find that an insult, you might think I am saying you are not SO Christian. Actually, I a saying the OPPOSITE.

Louise

Anonymous said...

From Anonymous:
Wow. I came back to see what you may have answered to an important question of mine....and it seemed it got a little skewed.
So, first, because I am anonymous, I don't want to make this too long, but I want to explain myself a little bit.
I rarely comment on any blog and have never on yours...which is why I hit the Anonymous button. I am a 44 year old married mother of 3 children...ages 17,13 and 9 and live in the Southeast.
I really was NOT in any way trying to say that it was WRONG that your daughter said her favorite show was the Kardashians. I really, truly was curious about it. Because she said that, it made me wonder if you allowed them to watch that type of TV. And I went on to ask about magazines etc., because I always seem to see that family (Kardashians) in People, Us Weekly, etc. Even though I personally do think that those shows are "smut" and so are the magaizines, I was not at all saying it was bad that your kids watched it....or anyone that does is bad. For goodness sakes, I promise I do not judge.
I was actually quite curious about HOW you handle it. I find myself not letting my kids watch those type of shows nor look at those magazines (if I can help it.) And then on the computer I cant really help it. We (my husband and I) try to dialog about why we find these type of shows not worthy of our time...so that they understand our point of view. (Because we certainly know that with our older two children they are about to make choices on their own when they leave the house.)So anyhow, I find myself not letting my kids partake and wondering all the time if this IS the correct thing? Hence why I asked.
From reading your blog, I think you are doing a terrific job of raising your girls. You are so inspiring to mother's like me. Do I think you have all the answers? No. But you definitely are doing something right because your girls seem to be smart, well-rounded and Christ filled. So I was actually asking the question for my own good....wondering if I in fact am being "too strict" in this category? I know that I am 95% stricter than most of the parents I know. So I wondered about it. (I guess with the shows....there is SO much premarital sex, etc. that I don't know how I can teach my kids my beliefs but then let them see that on TV? I know it is what is out there in pop culture but I fear that if they "see" it too much they will start to doubt their beliefs. Does that make sense?)
Anyhow...I could go on and on. I have already made this way too long.
Thank YOU for being so open and honest. Please understand where my question came from. It was an honest question.
I will say that I REALLY enjoyed ALL the responses that your friends wrote. There definitely was a lot of good information given.
I know we(parents) are all trying our best to raise good kids. I know that right now I am feeling like it is really really hard and that I find comfort from Bloggers like yourself who openly share your lives online. And for that I cannot thank you enough. I truly mean that from the bottom of my heart. Thank you!

Mandie said...

I love the way you responded to this question. I expected such a heartfelt outpouring from your friends. I have two girls (age 5, & 7). I turn to your blog daily for some inspiration. God bless you and your family.

Anonymous said...

Paige--I read your blog all the time but this may be my first comment (sorry!!). I just wanted to encourage you in the approach you are taking with your girls. It is very similar to how my parents raised me and my sister. They gave us a foundation of Christ and a Christian worldview, but didn't hide us from culture or things of the world. (not that they let us watch or do absolutely crazy things). But we were able to filter what we were seeing at school, etc. through that Christian worldview and talk to them about it. Then I went away to UGA (Go Dawgs!) and had an amazing time, grew in the Lord so much, etc. and I didn't go off the deep end b/c I hadn't been so sheltered. I knew how to process what I was seeing and hearing from the perspective of a believer. Now that I am 34 and have two kids of my own, we are trying to do this same thing with our boys. Not sure how it will go once they are teenagers, but we'll pray for the grace to figure it out. :-) Anyway--don't be discouraged. Your "realness" and sharing about your family is an encouragement and blessing. It is obvious that you and your girls love the Lord. It's okay if you love shoes and cute dresses, too. :-) haha! Amber B.

Michelle said...

Paige - You are amazing. I truly hope that one day i get to meet you in person. I admire you style, beauty, mothering and love for Christ. The presence of God's love is all over your life and the lives of your daughters. I appreciate your honesty and the ability to share your life via your blog. I have benefitted from this post as well as so many others. I know the Pearl event is going to be amazing. Just wish I could be there!
Michelle

PS - let me know when and if you are going to be selling any of Caroline's clothes again. We love what we purchased last year :)

Johnson Party of seven! said...

Aww. I'm so happy to see that post. I was hoping it was misunderstood. One thing about Paige is that she is raw on here. I've met all four of her precious babies and they are so well rounded so naturally we wonder what it is that she and Dan have done to get these great girls! I understand now what you were saying! We just want to know what they are doing! The balance they have in their parenthood. It is so important to shelter them just enough but also let them experience what the world is about. Paige and Dan are doing such a good job raising young women. We just want to know how they balance it all. Thanks for being so real Paige. I love you!

Denise said...

I don't watch the Kardashians, but I do watch Glee (and I love it!), and my 16 year old daughter and I watch Pretty Little Liars. I love that too! She knows that's not reality - and she knows some of the things that take place on those shows is wrong. For the most part though - there is nothing wrong with those 2 shows. You can't shelter your kids from the world. Teach them to live IN the world, but separated and focused on God. Yes, we do need to honor God with everything we do, and I don't have all the answers, but in my heart, while sitting on the sofa with my daughter, laughing and watching a FICTIONAL show, talking about it with her, wondering what will happen next week - I can't help but think that it's OK. I love your blog! One day my daughter was out with her friends and she called me, so excited on the other end. She was at a mexican restaurant and your family was also there! She had to whisper, so you guys wouldn't hear her! Too funny :)

Anonymous said...

Paige,

I have an off subject question, where can I get that royal blue dress & nude wedges your beautiful Madison is wearing?

I enjoy reading your blog & I look forward to seeing you in just a couple of weeks at The Pearl Event!

Thank you Ma'am!

katiebottoms {at} yahoo {dot} com

Yvonne said...

Paige, after raising two wonderful children myself, I totally agree with your philosophy. Parents who rule every aspect of their children's lives (especially teenagers) unfortunately often have a rude awakening down the road. I worked in a large state university with freshman students. Almost always, those who were raised in a very strict environment went "crazy" when given total freedom. They did not know how to hold to their own beliefs and live in the "real" world. I adore your blog and feel honored to be one of your cyber friends. Thanks for the daily inspiration.

Privet and Holly said...

God bless your
sweet and humble
heart, Paige!

xx Suzanne