Monday, February 13, 2012

nineteen valentines

video
it's funny
i had to stop & ask dad...19? she's 19?

at the risk of sounding cliche...i have no idea how we got to 19 so fast sweet girl.
no idea.
i swear it was just the other day you were sitting in the back of my vintage volvo singing "one headlight" along with the wallflowers.

as i look back, i think of two years that really shaped who you are today.
1997.
you were four going on twenty four. daddy gregg had just passed away. you were so brave.
i honestly i felt like it was you & me (with little sissies) against the world. you were the perfect mix of strength and independence ( those first born qualities) and yet a sensitivity that i still am amazed at today.
you were brave & tender at the same time. sometimes i worry that you might have missed out on the innocence that being a little girl affords...a little girl who has the luxury of all being right in her world.
all was not right in yours.
yet you took on a maturity that other little girls don't usually have at that age. you & sissies were the reason i kept on during that time....
on days when i thought the sadness would swallow me, i knew that ya'll were my gift. ya'll were my little part of him, of us & we would be just fine


2011
eighteen & ready to fly. the world at your fingertips.  planning graduation parties, filling out college applications, SAT & ACT ( you smoked them both), prom dresses, formals, a sweetheart & so many many social events.
move in day came way before i was ready. truth be told, i'm still not ready. i miss you in my every day but man oh man , how you have found favor in so many at UGA. i could not be one inch prouder of you are today. not one.
it's not uncommon for me to glance over at you and still see that little girl from 1997. big brown eyes and a mouth that often times looks just like him. you never missed a beat.
& i doubt you ever will.
sometimes i wish i could go right back to having you be my little girl, my little partner & sweet little friend singing loudly, right beside me...but i know i have to be a big girl too & encourage you where you now.

while technically you're just down the street, i know in my heart, you're gone from my little nest.
your world is big sweet girl.
you will do so many great things....i know this because you already have.

happy birthday my sweet valentine
oh how i love you so...

~~~
"well i've been afraid of changing
'cause i've built my life around you
but time makes us bolder
children get older
i'm getting older too"
stevie



24 comments:

Kat said...

Okay, this post already had me tearing up and then you had to go and through in a verse from the song that ALWAYS makes me cry. Gah! Love this post. Happy birthday to SMK!

Love Being A Nonny said...

Happy day to your beautiful 19 year old...wow...gorgeous!

Simone said...

Absolutely gorgeous Paige, I am in tears....again!!!

What a special girl she is...so accomplished, so much happinesss - and she's only 19. She is going to do even more great things. No wonder you are so proud of her.

I love the sunflower field photos, they're really some of my favourites of yours.

Love that Elton John song, it's my all-time favourite of his :)

I wish someone loved me so much they'd make a beautiful video of me like this!! I love the relationship you have with your girls, you're the best mother Paige, you really are! xx

Shannon said...

goodness you had to throw in those lyrics from stevie, love that song and it brings tears to my eyes everytime I hear it!

Happy 19th Birthday Savannah! You truly are living the best years of your life and are so lucky to have such an amazing Mom!

christina said...

Paige

what a wonderful tribute to a beautiful young lady. happy birthday to your 19 year old fantastic young lady.

Heather said...

She is beautiful and seems like such a wonderful young lady.

Ciao Marezy said...

Not only is it obvious to see Savannah's amazing beauty on the outside, but you can truly see her joy, her love for life and her beauty shining from within. You have raised truly beautiful and godly ladies! I hope your sweet girl has a wonderful birthday! And thank you, Paige, for showing us all such an example of love in a family!

patricia e said...

~ wow ~ so beautiful ~ Savanah is going to tear up watching this video and reading her mama's precious words ~

3 Peanuts said...

Happy Birthday to a young women who is SO beautiful inside and out. She gets that from her Mama!


You know...I don't want Kate to grow up. I often want to just freeze her but when I read about your girls and your relationships with them, it makes me a little more ready for my lil dumpling to grow up too. Thanks for that:)

3 Peanuts said...

Okay, I am back. Just watched the slideshow. What a beautiful gift of love. SMK is a blessed young woman. Paige, you are a blessed Mama. A bit teary here form looking at all those fabulous memories for you.

K

Michele said...

Beautiful Paige - I'm not sure what made me cry more - the pictures and song lyrics or your beautiful post! Happy Birthday Savannah!

Kimberly said...

Happy birthday to your sweet girl ... beautiful post Paige ... thanks for sharing it :)

Lemonade Makin' Mama said...

Wowza, what a post. She is a treasure! (Well, you all are.)

Debby said...

What a wonderful mother you have been. She is beautiful inside and out. Love this heartfelt post.

Pam said...

In tears! You are both very blessed women to have each other!!

SSM said...

Dear Paige,

Just beautiful! Tears!!!!!

Happy Birthday Savannah!

I'm so glad to see you are living life to the fullest and that you had two special Daddy's

Cheers!

Kerri said...

This is beautiful Paige! Savannah is equally as lucky to have you for a mom as you are for having her as a daughter! Thank you for sharing all of her amazing accomplishments with us, not just today, but every day!
Oh, and I totally agree about the first born qualities! Ava is just like Savannah and she is only 4!

Alecia said...

What a beautiful post...Happy Birthday Miss Savannah...from what your mom says...God is doing great things in & through you...I can't wait to see where He leads you over the next couple of years...you're mom's right...you are going to do great things!

giosmama26@yahoo.com said...

This was beyond beautiful and that end quote by, Steve brought major tears to my eyes.
Happy Birthday to your lovely daughter. Many birthday blessings.

Between You and Me said...

Happy Birthday to your sweet girl!!!

She's beautiful....I know the part of her story where she lost her dad is a monumental loss, but I'm amazed at how God repays what the locusts have eaten, and I'm in awe of how he uses every single thing in our stories to bring us to him.

Tiffini Kilgore said...

oh mercy
that makes me cry
i hear the heart through
your words
a momma and her first born
and all the history...
a treasure she is:)
xoxo

Lindsey said...

Oh, Paige...your daughter is absolutely beautiful on the inside and out. Finally got a chance to watch the full video. Love love LOVE!! Such a special treasure to have for years to come.

Praying big for your daughter...may 19 be the best year yet!

Amanda said...

your video
your words
what a tribute to her.
what a tribute to our Lord.

this was perfect!

Bonnie said...

paige, you haven't posted in so long I hope nothing is wrong. I realize I don't post often but you usually do.Something may be wrong with my feed. Anyway, just thinking of you and missed your posts.