Sunday, October 16, 2011

tending your secret garden

this post has been sitting in my drafts for quite some time.
it was basically just a quote & a few images taken weeks ago.
i pulled it out tonight & realized how relevant it was to some things that have been on my heart this week.

i ran across the quote below and it reminded me of the obvious truth.
abundance & lack
simultaneously existing at all times in our lives.
in one way or another anyway.

it reminded me of my focus
it reminded me that living in this country, i have always lived in abundance.
i really have never known lack.
i have seldom if ever been without.
yet, it's so easy for me to slip into thinking of what i don't have.
it's so easy to see the friend who seems to effortlessly have more.
more beauty. more joy. more boots. more friends. more vacations. more jewelry.
i don't dwell on those thoughts, but they still surface.

my hours at work have been cut significantly.
while it's supposed to be a 15% cutback across the board, for my bottom of the totem pole,
prn position
it's been cut basically 100%.
normally i don't mind the extra free time
but this has been going on for several months.
while i only work one day a week at the hospital,
those hours and that paycheck are what i'm used to.
the loss of the income has, embarrassing as it is to admit,
really had me in a funk.
i'll be honest, i like having some extra cash. some fun money.

i've taken on some photography commissions,
which is totally my passion!
i spent some time praying about the philanthropy
in which i would give some of my profits.
i'm so excited about the organization which has been on my heart
& now can be a place where i give.
(i'll share them with you this week)

a garden in my own heart that i want to tend.
whether i have my extra fun money
or i'm without.
i sure don't want my days on this earth to be all about tending my own garden of abundance.
while i'm always up for a new pair of boots or some fun new jewelry
(i'm keeping it real)
i want my heart to broken for those that truly are in need.
i want to be a good steward.
i want to become a giver.

for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
matthew 6.21


“Both abundance and lack exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities.
It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend... when we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that's present ~ love, health, family, friends, work, the joys of nature and personal pursuits that bring us pleasure ~ the wasteland of illusion falls away and we experience Heaven on earth.”

(sarah ban breathnach) 


sara@augustfields said...

oh paige....i love your transparency. giving always feels good. that's one difference i've seen between buying or giving. when we give something away or do something for others we always feel better (not that that is why we do it i'm just making a side point).

Bonnie said...

These pictures are beautiful and they do reflect passion. You will have a lot to give because your photography is beautiful. I would love to make pictures like these. Your heart is beautiful too. Your writing also reflects your pretty heart.

Flower Patch Farmgirl said...

Well, I just love this. And your pictures are full of joy!

ElevenGables said...

Why do I always tear up when reading your posts? They really touch my heartstrings. Thank you. My favorite verse by the way. xo, emily

Sheri said...

I love this post. After reading Kisses for Katie - boy is my heart heavy. Feel the need to do something. Was reading the 147 blog - I'm thinking of hosting a fund raiser/holiday open house for them. Those women are amazing and doing good for so many. Thanks for sharing this post - as usual, you rock. Have a blessed week :)

Susan R said...

You may consider investing more time into photography and making it a real business for yourself instead of nursing. I have heard so many stories of cut baks in nursing, which explains a lot. You have an obvious eye and talent for it.
Along the lines of philanthropic donations...they do not always need to be monetary. After a shift in the ER, I used to go up to the nursery and volunteer by holding, or rocking fussy babies. I also collected donated baby swings and rocking chairs for the nursery. It really made me feel good.

Mary said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mary said...

i understand this so very well, this wanting...and wanting to be more of a giver. praying for eyes with a broader vision of eternity...

grace and peace to you!

Holly said...

oh this is beautiful and I find myself struggling with the exact same thing - wanting - enjoying a fabulous new pair of shoes and wanting/needing to give more to others. thank you for these!

Megan said...

I loved reading your thoughts, struggles and desires in this area. I think you pinpointed so many of the things I have felt and hoped for in myself. I am going back now to re-read it! Thanks Paige!

stacey said...

this is beautiful. that quotation touched my heart: "when we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that's present..."

exactly what I needed to be reminded of today. thank you SO much!

Between You and Me said...

touched on a spot in my heart today.
thanks, I think. :)

praying we give abundantly out of hearts that are overwhelmed by all that has been freely given to us.

Talia said...

Beautiful and I love your honesty. Like you, my hours have been cut and I feel it. While difficult, I am still so very blessed.

smk said...

i'm so excited for you and your blooming photography business. and also for the amazing philanthropy you chose. you're awesome mom i love you!

Kelli said...

Well I'm SO glad this was pulled out of your archives. This is a great reminder of being good stewards...that we are to love others. Those pictures are beautiful as well :)

Chelsea Payne said...

Your giving posts have been so inspiring to me and make me want to do and give more!

Anon this time said...

I love your blog and have read every post for over two years now, I only respond once in a blue moon. I have to admit, I have at times felt a touch of envy, we have had a very tight couple of years, there is no money to buy my teen a car, little money for pretty clothes for us, and you have SUCH GREAT STYLE. I love looking at your style and most of the time I am happy for your family, but as I say, now and then I turn a bit green. BUT once again you are a lesson, your finances are not quite as fluffy at this time and what are you doing? YOU are thinking about giving! You are a good person.

Tiffini said...

as i sit licking the peanut butter off of my spoon...apples and pb for heart acquiescence's with yours.
with or without Father .. today let us see where to give. just today. where?
praying a quiet joy your way today

3 Peanuts said...

How do you always know just what I needed to hear?


julieann said...

WOW... I needed this post today. Im feeling sorry for myself.
Kinda feeling icky about not giving more of me to others. Time or money... I always feel better when I give..
Ill put that on my to do list!!!
If you were in my neck of the woods I would have a pair of boots waiting for you in "exchange" for some photos of my family..
I think your gifted with a camera... I say make some $$$ doing that. It is obvious you love it...

Kim said...

Oh, Paige,

It seems that you and I wrestle with the same demon.. want. I hate it!! My eyes so easily see what others have rather than what I have and it is a daily battle to keep my eyes from coveting. Why is the fun stuff so dang appealing??

By the way, I think you have set a fabulous example of generosity in how you give to your girls, but I am looking forward to seeing what new organization you are giving to. Do tell! is!!

erin said...

I know what you are going through. I have been a Realtor for 11 years. I am passionate about what I do and if I must say so, I think I am good at it. With the economy being down my income has dropped almost 70% in the last two years. I am in such a funk. Of course I miss the money, but I mostly miss doing what I love and helping people. I'm hoping god will give me a sign if I am supposed to hang on to this career I love, or find something else.Thanks for sharing your story. I hope it gets better for both of us.

Tammy said...

OK. Favorite Post. Ever.

Junk Wild