Tuesday, January 04, 2011

for my friend edie

when tragedy occurs in the life of another
it leaves us in a place of not knowing what to do, how to respond, or even how to help.

our daily conversations
are taken to a depth that is both uncomfortable & frightening.
uncomfortable because
we don't know what to do
we don't know how to help
we don't know what to say
we can't even imagine their pain much less verbalize our thoughts.

frightening because
we're in an emotional place that is dark
that threatens to rob our normalcy.
the normalcy in which we find comfort and security

we want to take their pain away
we wish the tragedy had never occurred

i remember after gregg died
one of the challenges for me was to let things go that people either said
or the things that were actually never said

things like..."its meant for your good"
the "well at least you have..."
but maybe even the more painful to me
was seeing a friend who said nothing
who never even acknowledged our loss. my pain.
who obviously felt that not bringing up the obvious would somehow bring me comfort.
while i didn't want to dwell in the sad place, i needed affirmation.
just a simple "i'm sorry....i'm praying"

i time i began to realize that people many times just don't know what to say
& that some feel saying nothing will help be a distraction to the tragedy.
i've probably done the same to someone else. & for that i am deeply sorry.

probably besides the obvious overwhelming single parenting issue i faced,
the biggest fear that stared me down was the fear that the sadness i felt during his illness & death
would stay with me forever.
  i feared the sadness would seep into every fiber of my being 
and take over. 
it would rob my cheerful disposition.
it would be a part of me daily, leaving me to view the life around me in a blur, void of color.

my friend edie lost her home 
& her worldly possessions 
in a house fire two weeks ago.
edie expressed that same fear. 
while i can't comprehend the magnitue of her loss,
i can understand that emotion.

today is edie's birthday & we are celebrating her today

edie is one of the most amazing women i've ever "not met" in  real life.
in my dream cul de sac, she would totally be my neighbor.
if she taught bible study at my church, i'd be in her class.
if she were still practicing medicine, she would be my doctor.

she has endured a loss i can not comprehend.
i feel far away & helpless.
i don't know what to say
but i don't want to say nothing

edie my prayer for you today is that you grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
that you have peace that surpasses all of our own understanding.
that you know in the depth of your soul that He will comfort all who mourn,
 and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor.
 They will rebuild the ancient ruins

several weeks ago i had the honor of edie guest posting for me. she blew me away.  the love for her family, the sacrifices that she has made & the way the Lord radiates in her life inspires me. daily.
 while her brick & mortar home is no longer standing. i know she will rise.
i know this current sadness will NOT take up permanent residence.

if you have not read edie's blog, i highly encourage you to spend some time with her.
i think you'll be just as smitten as i.

may you truly have a happy birthday sweet edie

we love you!!


Jerri said...

Paige you are just so sweet! Praying for Edie in her loss and wishing her the happiest of birthdays even through this time! My BEST friend lost her home and all her possessions to a fire about 5 years ago and although it was devastating and life changing, God saw her through and she now lives in a beautiful new home that she probably would have otherwise never known! ~hugs~

Jodee Leader said...

Happy Birthday to your sweet bloggy friend. I am so sorry for the pain she is experiencing right now. I will keep her in my thoughts and prayers.

traci said...

happy birthday to edie. i was not a reader of hers. i did hear about her tragedy and have since read some of her posts. an amazing woman with an amazing relationship with Jesus. an inspiration to us all on how to live.

emily freeman said...

So well said, Paige. I so don't want to be one of those people who says (or doesn't say) all the wrong things.

Happy Birthday, Ms. Edie.

Sandy said...

Paige, this is beautiful! I am going to go "meet" Edie! I am truly sorry for your loss of your husband, too! I lost my dad in October and although my brothers and I are missing him a lot, and all of our family, my heart goes out to my mom daily. Thank you agian for this post!

The Avery House said...

Such precious words full of love for our friend Edie. Thank you Paige!

1 Funky Woman said...

I've learned from an experience years ago that not saying is the worst thing you can do for a person. It was not until I lost my mother did I realize how important just a touch or a smile can be.

So sorry to hear of this woman's loss. I had just heard about her and I will put her and her family in my prayers!


Flower Patch Farmgirl said...

What a beautiful tribute, P. And thank you for sharing more of your heart here. It's so lovely. Last night when I was working on my post for Edie I referenced back to her guest post for you and it had me thinking of your own loss. I just wanted to hug the both of ya. :)

Farmgirl Paints said...

just beautiful. wish i could have uploaded a picture. it wouldn't let me. that one was perfect. captured her spirit:)

Between You and Me said...

she IS the most amazing woman that I've NEVER met. :)

such a perfect tribute to her....and especially to the Lord's work in her life.

Margaret Ritchie said...

This is such an amazingly beautiful post! Very well put...thank you for your insight.

kimberly at mimicharmante said...

Somehow I missed her post for you - and I thank you for "introducing" us. She really is fabulous - I love that she calls her wee ones "the littles" like I do, or that she is as fun and free-spirited as I aspire to be. I also love that we are nearly the exact same age. And I wish with all of my heart for her to find grace to get through this incredibly difficult time. I can't even imagine...
Wonderful post sweet friend, you really are a gift to so many of us~

Tracey said...

Wonderful living prayer for your friend! Great to find your blog!

Brenda said...

Thank you for this. I went through a divorce last year and can relate to so much of what you say here... and have fallen short on my end of things too. I'll pray for Edie!

Tiffany Day said...

Oh Paige, you have no idea how much this post blessed ME - some random person out here that doesn't know you in "real life" and hasn't know of edie until a few weeks ago. I love so much what you conveyed about how helpess we can feel when someone suffers such a tragic loss. I have been guilty of saying nothing because i didn't know what to say and a while back I started saying that to the person, "I don't know what to say or what I can do, I am sorry and this absolutely sucks" Really that's not very eloquent "this sucks" but I imagine that's how it muct feel!

I am sorry for the loss you suffered earlier in your life.

I am going to "get to know" Edie and am sending her prayers right now. Thank you sweet Pagie.


darcy @ m3b said...

Paige - Just lovely words.

I'm so sorry for your loss, as well. I pray you find peace.

LuLu said...

I'm sending Edie birthday love, prayers today too! I hope she can feel the love we all have for her and her family!

Tina said...

Edie and her family have been in my thoughts since I read your post about their tragic loss of their home, sweet Paige. I wish Edie a happy birthday. You are such a beautiful friend, Paige, with such beautiful words for Edie. Hugs to both of you ~ Tina xx

Christina said...

i have sent up prayers, and will send many more.

LLH Designs said...

What an honoring and heartfelt post to your friend Edie. I just visited her blog for the first time today and wept. I needed to cry today...I just didn't know how God would bring it about. I hate that this is her story, but I will now be a regular reader to see God at work in her story.

Hugs to you,

Suz said...

Beautifully written! I took a break from blogging...life just got too busy. I was so shocked when I read about the fire. My heart hurts for Edie. Praying for her.

Your blog always makes encourages me.

Julie said...

Paige, this is so beautiful and so true. I have the same way being on both sides (not knowing what to say and needing someone to say something). My heartbreaks for Edie and her family. I have been trying to read up on her blog and read the guest post she did for you. She is truly and amazing and inspiring woman!

Stacy of KSW said...

Spending some time today getting to know Edie thanks to the wonderful world of blogs. Completely smitten with Edie already and the somehow I found my way to you. Two fantabulous reads in one day, what a blessing. Sure hope there's an opening in your cul-de-sac for a girl like me. You ladies rock and I have no doubt you will kill that half marathon and have the time of your life in our old honeymoon spot. Meant to be indeed. Thank you for lifting my spirits tonight :)

Privet and Holly said...

I've only come to
know Edie recently,
first through you
and now through
other bloggers. She
has a spirit that
will no doubt turn
something terrible
into something to
learn from. I hope
her birthday was a
spot of joy this week
for her and her family.
What a kind friend you
are to write such a
touching post.
xx Suzanne

edie said...

i'm not sure your aware of how very much you've blessed me these past few months. i am so thankful our paths crossed. so very thankful.
i'm humbled by your love and kindness and inspired by your faith and generosity with others.
i can't wait to hug your neck someday.
love you sweet paige,

*and thank you for the surprise party, what a blessing

Debi said...

Well said. Edie has been such an inspiration to countless others (like me) through the years. May the Lord use your kind words to comfort Edie and her dear family.

Anonymous said...

Hello Paige, You do not know me, but this beautiful and heartfelt post comes to me as a gift. Praying for Edie and love to have found your blog through Twinkle eyes - I think again...I was here before, somewhere in the past year,finding photo's of your youngest daughter and your other daughter dancing ?
Lieve groeten
Godeliva van Ariadone
( Nederland )