Wednesday, August 24, 2011

balance

i need some balance.

not only do i need balance,
i need to figure out exactly what's out of balance.
i assume it's balance that i need
because whenever something feels out of whack
physically, mentally or spiritually
something's out of balance right?
hence my conclusion.


i'm not feeling very creative
& maybe not even very motivated.


maybe it's just post summer weirdness.
sometimes i feel i'm not very intentional with how i spend my time in the summer
so maybe that's left me in a place that feels out of focus.


maybe it's the fact that i'm in the process of adjusting to our new family dynamics
after sending savannah off to college.
i vascillate daily between joy for all that's awesome in her life right now
and the fantastic orchestration of so many good & perfect details
and
honestly just how very strange it is to have a child leave the nest.


i'm ok.
really i am.
just feeling sort of in a weird place
&
figured i could come here and share that with you.
& speaking of you,
(i want to end this downer of a post on a good note)
i want to thank ya'll.
i continue to be so blessed and encouraged by those of you
who leave sweet comments or send me notes and emails
of encouragement.
YOU
are a blessing that i don't ever want to take for granted.
thank you
&
as for me,
hopefully i'll feel all straightened out soon.
i'll keep you posted!
~
 

James 1:17
 Every good and perfect gift is from above,
coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, 
who does not change like shifting shadows.

32 comments:

just call me jo said...

You will find your balance again. Some days are a bit tippy!

Simone said...

This is huge time of transition for you with Savannah going away to college so I'm not surprised you are feeling a little off. I'm sure that's very normal - and, for what it's worth, I think you are dealing with everything beautifully :)

The whole going-back-to-school thing is a time of mixed feelings I find. For us school starts again in September and while I am always excited or the new school year - it also means they are another year older & time is flying by which I can't help but be a little bit sad about. And for my daughter it also means her last year at this school & a huge new school next Sept. How will I ever cope with her going away to college??!!

I need some fun new projects I do know that, as soon as I am back from France am going to get busy!!

Love and hugs to you my lovely friend xx

PS love the photos of Caroline :)

MD said...

You've already answered you own question! End of summer "blues" (the only seasonal change that throws me out of whack each and every year) and the big changes in your family and home, even though they are wonderful. These are huge changes! You know the experts tell us that even good changes are stressful. Us overachievers think there is something wrong with us when all is well yet we feel out of sorts. Go easy on yourself, it is all still very new and all the adjustments haven't clicked into place just yet. Because they will. Thank you for this post...I have been feeling the same way and this is just the reminder that I needed that it is ok to feel out of balance even in times of good change. Big hug!

Susan R said...

The answer is in the post. Unfortunately, not all of us are as talented as Miss C with that awesome self of hers. Man! To be young like that again. I see another cheer leader in the family soon.
I think change throws off balance and that's not always a bad thing. It teaches us how to regain control and balance.

Kimberly said...

Don't be too hard on yourself ... it's perfectly acceptable to feel a bit out of sorts ... change is hard. Praying you find your balance ASAP! Summer's end makes me feel a bit out of whack too! ;)

PS~Erin said...

I totally get what you're feeling... You put it quite nicely into words. I'm teetering between weepy and excited. Quite the contrast, and I just sent an 8 yr to 3rd grade. Hang in there. I think realizing the out-of-whack-ness is more than half of winning the battle and finding balance and your new normal. Thinking of you.

Rene Schmidt said...

I got home late last night from dropping my daugther off for the start of her Junior year - so you'd think I'd be a "little" bit used to the process by now. But I got in the car and cried my eyes out .. She's 5 hrs away, so by the time I arrived home, I had pulled my thoughts (and heart!) together. Just trying to focus on all of the wonderful things happening in her life right now. I leave in 2 wks to drop my son to start his Freshman year - another 5hrs away in the opposite direction. Where did the time go??! Trying to wrap my brain around it all and enjoy the process for both of them. (And figure out what my husband and I are going to do with all of our free time!)
An emotional time for sure!
God Bless!

Kim said...

Paige,

I do not know you {other than through your blog}, I live a life very different from yours, half way across this blessed country of ours. But, we do have two things in common. Our love for Jesus AND our love for our families. I can completely relate to your 'funk'. I too, wander through my first days/ weeks after sending my kids back to school - I cannot imagine sending one to college. Makes me teary thinking about it. Although fall brings with it a great anticipation, it also brings a 'new normal': new schedules, new teachers and classes, new routine, etc. My advice? Cut yourself some slack, grab a frappaccino, put your feet up on your beautiful back porch and just rest in the Lord a while. He alone can refresh, realign and reinvigorate. Thank you for your blog. It is an inspiration to me daily as I raise my girl {I have 2 boys as well} who just started middle school this year. I so appreciate your perspective and your lovely photos.

Blessings to you!!!

Just Ask Beth said...

well I just think you are darling.. and too, feel as i say "off kilter"! Maybe my hormones, my job..my girls.. I feel ho hum.. I love my life but I am less than satisfied right now!! It can only get better right!!


PS Is it sick to be jealous of a 10 year olds legs!!!??

Kelli said...

Proverbs 3:6:
In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths.

I think it's an adjustment...new school year and Savannah going off to school.

Balance will come :)

Kacey said...

I have an idea of what you're feeling now...although mine is more at the beginning. My oldest just started kindergarten and my youngest just started preschool...and I feel out of sorts. The time passes so quickly and I just want it to slow down. I imagine you feel that way, too. Group hug! Hope you find your balance and a new normal soon.

Sue said...

I don't know about you...but not only do kids go through "anxiety" at the beginning of a new school year, us parents do too! Change affects all of us! Here's hoping you find your balance soon!

Sally Bufton said...

Sure do understand strange feelings....sending the last one out and being in a new place. But even thru all changes aren't we glad HE is always there never changing!!! The one constant!!!! Transitions are tough, all your feelings are normal and in the end the we all grow....You are doing GREAT .... i

Louise said...

I know you say that you are not feeling very creative, but your photographic skills disprove that! Every photo and every post shows huge amounts of artistic creativity and talent. I don't know about you, but when I am feeling down often the very thing I NEED is a project or to be creative in someway. I think you should start gardening!:) Planting flowers! You have such a pretty and large yard and a great porch. Of course, where you are in the world may not be the best time of year to start such a project, but when it is a good time I bet you could create and nurture BEAUTIFUL flower beds.

Jboo said...

The end of summer and one little bird leaving the nest is hard, so am sure things feel weird. Hope you feel better and more balanced soon.

Look at Little Bit -- she is no longer little -- how tall and even more beautiful and flexible she's gotten! Have a good Wednesday!

Janet

Sogni Siciliani said...

I can understand out of balance. Right now I am also in a very transitional place in my life. No part of my life brings me joy. Not happy with my job...sick relative...seriously ill friends...friends lost to job relocation...and so on... I am hoping to somehow find my way back. I guess we are going through a period of spiritual growth. That is always hard.
Hope you are feeling better soon. I know Savannah has left the nest but she may need you more than ever now as she makes her transition into adulthood. Nothing is lost and there will be so much gain in the future.!!!
On a brighter note has Caroline every tried ballet??? She seems to be a natural and she has beautiful feet and seems to be very much on her toes!!!. She looks like a ballerina...Just a thought!!!!

Jen Kershner said...

I think you just need to find your new normal. I always get like that after a major change. I've had a lot of practice in the last year or too. I know you will be back in balance soon. Until then, don't be too hard on yourself!

The Avery House said...

Ah sweet Paige! I am right there with you in needing to find balance. I have missed leaving a little note to you in this very spot. I had lost some balance with my new job but I feel I am moving closer to center again. I truly appreciate your authenticity in expressing this feeling. You are awesome and I will be sending good thoughts your way as you swing back to center and balance again. xoxo

Shari said...

I went thru this same feeling when my oldest and the one most like me left for college....when I turned around and around asking God what should I do...He pointed me to my second child and said Your work isn't done with this one....and we developed the most awesome deep relationship once she was out of the shadow of her oldest sister....she blossomed and grew in a special way that she couldn't before....and now she is getting ready to leave the nest, my attention is focused once again on the oldest and she begins her career and needs all sorts of advice! God will restore balance in your life....just as he always has....just give it some time...

Betsy said...

WOW!! Happy to have visited your blog today. LOVED reading the comments especially shari's. My oldest daughter is a sophomore at uga-btw-i was in a definite funk when she left last year.I was in a funk dropping her off at the sorority house this year as well-she has told me I need to get a hold of myself because she isn't a freshman anymore, It's hard though-we are very very close!! I'm trying to work on my relationship with my other daughter who is a sophomore in high school-but she is at such a ridiculous stage being 15 yr. old.-looking forward to her senior yr in hs/her freshman yr in college and hoping we will become friends then.
Betsy from alpharetta.

Debra said...

You've got a lot going on right now & some big changes among that so my non-medically trained diagnosis would be that you've just go a lot on your plate! :)

I kind of feel the same way at the end of summer. Like when school starts something will click and I'll be in a new routine with no problem. Truth is, it usually takes me until fall break!

Hang in there!

Tiffini said...

your not alone. I am more carefree in the summer and the interruption of alarms and such. It is change. She is back isn't she?
I will pray for you tonight that He shows you what "it" is. I do agree when one leaves the next so to speak it brings about a mourning or something. I felt that way each time. Even when Grace was at camp for a week I felt a twinge of that. Your a good mama .. a godly mama:)
Thank you for your courage to be YOU...will be praying
xo

Amy said...

WOAH!!! Little Bit can move!!!! Understand your thoughts too - the weirdness is transition. It will pass into a new normal and your balance will come back. Love to you xxxxxx

Susanne said...

Never fear Paige , balance will be restored soon , we all feel wobbly when major changes happen with our chillins and our home life . Know that God has plans for all of you and it will be great ! xxoo , Suz

Central Christian School said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Christan said...

Grace.

Jo said...

This unsettled feeling will {quickly} be replaced with a happy new norm ~ it just takes a little time to establish your new balance. I know exactly how you feel and I promise you'll soon get your bounce back in your step!

Jo

Gail said...

"IN all things be balance" And...I found it to be "normal" when I got out of it-- when my two kids left for college....toooooo long ago...:O( Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy this entire ride is what I suggest to you! Enjoy the girls at each stage God gives you. And, yes...I find, too...I need to read HIS WORD daily or I feel...unbalanced and like..not dress! I seem to long for his direction and through HIS Word and prayer...and listening to The HOLY GHOST inside me....I get back into balance!!! God Bless you...YOU are in GREAT HANDS..."HE's got the WHOLE World in HIS hands" :O)

Jodi said...

I am right there with ya! I don't know...I am feeling the same and just alittle overwhelmed with life right now. I am ready for things to start falling into place and settle down a bit!

Take care, Girl!!!

jodi

Between You and Me said...

my oldest will leave the house in about 7 years and i can't bare to think about it for more than 2.3 seconds...

i know that sounds completely lame, but it's true.

every time you come to my mind, I pray for you and Dan and the other girls, who for sure miss their sister.

it's hard to let ourselves "feel" off when we're usually the ones who are half glass full kind of gals for everyone around us.....

praying for you, friend.

Between You and Me said...

caroline is all kinds of adorable in those pics.

Privet and Holly said...

This is my
catch up week
so I'm late to
the cheer-up
party....but
do know you've
been on my mind!
xx Suzanne