Thursday, August 25, 2011

step one


yesterday i woke up with an awful headache.
went in & snuggled with caroline as i woke her up
wishing we didn't have to go to school and could stay in bed all day.
wrote my balance post.
ate yogurt & some yummy homemade granola
after finding out my cholesterol is high.

moments after pushing the publish button, received a call from a precious friend.
we shamefully admitted to each other
that we both haven't picked up our bibles in a while
& really spent time with the lord.
we cried about sending first borns off
& how our babies aren't really babies any more.
we shared about how thankful we are for loving & loyal hubby's.
how as mama's we long to have our families together
& whether its for good & happy things or not
it's just plain hard when one is gone.
we talked about the power of prayer
& having accountability.
my headache got worse
the computer was blurry 
and it was entirely too bright outside.
i climbed back in bed.
for hours.
spent most of the day there
& then climbed back in again after dinner.

i feel much better today
no more gosh awful headache.
but the truth is,
one of the main reasons i feel so off
i'm certain
is because i haven't been in the word.
i'm so ashamed to even admit that.


while my bible is laying right beside my computer
it's much easier for me to open my laptop
than to open the scriptures.
it apparantly is more important to see what others have to say to me
than what He does.
the other day, caroline picked up my 364 bible.
it's a great little paperback version that takes you through the scriptures
in chronological order in a year.
she said "mama, you left your book mark in april. want me to move it over to august for you?"
she was being totally sincere.


i'm an open book here on my blog
but i really want to be more intentional
about journaling with paper and pen.
there have been so many specific answers to prayer in the last several days
that if i don't write them down, i fear i'll forget them.
so
first step in operation find balance
is the obvious.
it was my new years goal months ago.

& apparantly, changing my diet
to fish, chicken and oatmeal
is step two.
wink.

ya'll have a great day!
~

Psalm 119:105
Your word is a lamp to guide my feet
and a light for my path

23 comments:

Number 6 and no more counting! said...

had one of those days last week. I don't think I functioned as well as you did! I cried A LOT. Took it out on my husband, and felt very sorry for myself. It is funny what some rest and thought will do. Paige, thank you, for these two posts and putting things back in prospective.

lea
xo

The Avery House said...

In the dizzying spin of the world around us, as it whirrs by faster than we want, isn't it the most glorious gift, that our Lord is right there in the center of it all. We know He always has been, and He knows we haven't forgotten. There's where the balance is,right where our Father stands to meet us with the world and all of it's spendor passing by. What an amazing revelation you've had Paige. Enjoy step one. I am certain it will be awesome!

Kimberly said...

I'm glad you're feeling better today. Balance is a good thing ... trying to find a little myself. Thank you for sharing ... I need to go read my Bible :)

Susan R said...

It's funny you should write this post because as I was at home, going about my day yesterday and I thought to myself, "Why don't I have all these spiritual experiences that other people seem to have?"
While I was sitting in the carpool line, waiting to pick up my children, it dawned on me that I wasn't putting myself in the right situations and doing what I should be doing to allow His hand or His spirit to touch me in some way. I haven't read my scriiptures in ages, I haven't spents any real time praying like I should and I've been so caught up in everything around me, that I don't think there is much that would touch me, or allow any type of deep, personal experience to enter into my life right now.
I don't like living so much IN the world like this. Sounds like we are in similar boats.
I swear sometimes I think God is shouting at me and I'm just not listening.

Susan R said...

Sorry to rant on your blog and on such a lovely post. By the way...glad to hear you are feeling better.

Love Being A Nonny said...

....*it apparently is more important to see what others have to say to me than what He does.* That got me. Really got me. Thank you.

Kelli said...

It's so true...when we aren't standing on our foundation things tend to get a little shaky. I am right there with you and I have admitted to being behind on my 365 reading. I NEED to be in His Word, but yes for some reason I am more led to our words, our blogs. Thank you for being open, for sharing because it convicts me that I need to focus Up. So glad you had a friend to let it all out with...that's such a gift.

3 Peanuts said...

We are literally on the same page, Paige. I too did some soul searching and realized that I have slipped away from my daily time in the word. I am SUCH a better person when I spend hat time with the Lord each day.

I need balance too and my step two is exercise...which I LOATHE but I am going to make myself go to the gym this morning and do the treadmill while I watch Regis and Kelly.


I will pray for you:)

Alecia said...

Thanks for your honesty...I too have been struggling with the same thing. It's so easy to crack open the computer...trying to read the Bible can be a bit more complex...where should I start, should I do a book study, etc...it's a new prayer request on my prayer list...a deeper hunger & passion for the Word...I'll pray that for you as well.

I loved your post on Balance...I think the thing I loved most about that post is the pictures of Dan helping Caroline...it's a wonderful picture of how our Heavenly Father is there, right beside us, to lean on & to learn from...we are never alone! :-)

LLH Designs said...

Oh, how I feel you about it being quicker to open my laptop than my Bible...to see what others say instead of what He says. So with you. But I know He can create a new desire in us...a new hunger. I pray for it. I want it. And that's a good starting place.

As for the shame, here's a verse I remember anytime the enemy taunts me with shame or accusation" "There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." (Romans 8:1)

I'm so glad you share this today...SO glad.

love you,
Linsey

Curtis said...

Love your blog, read it almost every day. Today's hit home for me, I received some concerning news about my health this week and then a friend posted this on Facebook and I had to stop and REALLY take note:
Wonder what would happen if we treated our Scriptures like we treat our CELL PHONE? We CARRY it every where we go. We flipped through it throughout the day. We went home to get it if we FORGOT it. We RECEIVED messages from the text. We COULDN'T live WITHOUT it. We GAVE it to KIDS as gifts. We used it in case of emergency. One more thing, it would NEVER be disconnected. JESUS has already paid the bill. Pass this on cause its so true!

Just something to ponder...... we ALL could really learn from this.... Sending good thoughts and prayers to you and your family.
Blessings to you
Curtis

LuLu & Co. said...

With this new school year balance is going to be a source of focus for me to keep everything in order. And to remind myself that even though I can't find the time to plug into the computer I can plug into my time with prayer as I run around the house to get everything accomplished before everyone heads back home.

Glad to hear your headache is gone and you are feeling better. My thoughts are with you and you find your new normal with savannah away at school.
xo,
Lulu

Anonymous said...

Bless you Paige. I found your blog through Emily at Jones Design...absolutely love her. When she recommended your blog, and someone she would "like to be friends with", of course I had to check you out. You are a delight, a joy, an open and vulnerable Southern gal who loves the Lord and her family with a fervent passion. I feel like we have many little things in common. I, though, am a Northern gal, Minnesota to be exact. But, I too live in a colonial home with dark floors and a beautiful golden retriever....a tender, blond golden (with a boxy face haha) who sheds like crazy, whose black nose has started to turn pink, and whose name is Lucy. I have four children, two of them we just moved in to their colleges....one daughter is a senior at Notre Dame, the other daughter is a sophmore in Arizona. We've two younger sons at home. I am dying and miss my girls so very much, the tears are in my heart and are ready to spill at a moments notice. I do have the luxury of knowing, though, that this "rawness" will pass. I have the little Anthro lampshade shown in your kitchen, except mine is in a bathroom. I, too, love the color red. I have the same Michael Kors gold, oversized watch. I have the same Old Navy shirt you have (the 70's motif button-up one, with the green and grey and white daisies...except i have it in yellow). I too, wear my hair in a ponytail all the time. And, I am a huge lover of multiple strand necklaces, like your gold one and the silver and pearl one. Which, btw, where can I find them both?? Love them. You have challenged me, and gently nudged me, by sharing your struggles with staying daily in the word. Again, bless you Paige. You have made such an impact and have no idea how many lives you touch with your vulnerability and your perspective.

Linda

Gail said...

“Instead of striving for a predictable, safe lifestyle, seek to know Me in greater depth and breadth. I long to make your life a glorious adventure, but you must stop clinging to old ways. I am always doing something new with My beloved ones. Be on the lookout for all that I have prepared for you.” Hope this helps, Honey...It spoke volumes to me today...:O)

Biz said...

I just admitted my own short fallings when it comes to being in the word.
If you need prayer please feel free to stop by and let me know. I started a running list of emails of people I'm praying for to help me stay focused!
Biz

http://busybizblogs.blogspot.com/2011/08/bible-verse-friday-33.html

Dawn said...

oh Dearheart...I too feel the exact same way. We have had SO much going on in our home and sending one of my babies away was the worst, that I am finding myself feeling totally out of control. I have not spent anytime in the word and have have completely abandoned the gym...I am challenging myself to get back to those things that make me stronger and give me balance. Sending big hugs to you!!

Dawn said...

p.s. will you share where you found your blue Qwest bible...I know Kim (3 Peanuts) loves her qwest bible, and I really want one!! :)

Jodi said...

Great post! Thank you so much, Paige! I need to do the same!

Take care!
Jodi

Between You and Me said...

love this post.
love your heart.
praying for you in your sadness over one being gone from your nest.
can't wait to meet your little bird in this city and love on her. :)

Tiffini said...

I had one of those recently..bed all day.
:)smiling..with you. I just read Jesus Calling today and I thought of it after reading your post...it is August 25..I am going to email it to you..it is beautiful. I read it on my walk this morning and all I could whisper was..Jesus.
OK..and I will eat oatmeal and chicken with you..I need to get my eating back under control..so much stress lately I am letting it effect my eating. one step at a time friend and you will get there..He is so full of grace. Just think on His thoughts toward you...how beautiful you are and He wouldn't change a thing..and when you smile the whole world stops and stares...I know - it is a song but I pretend God is singing it to me...
xo

Kim said...

Well done, my friend. No better first move than to a place of certainty and steadfastness. How do you feel now?? :0)

Lemon Lane Cottage said...

It is so easy to let the busyness of life get us out of the Word. I agree with you, keeping a hand written journal is such a wonderful way to express thankfulness to the Lord in a purposeful way. I know your on your way to feeling better. Glad the headached went away, too.

melissa said...

Oh Paige .. I could have written this post today! I also have not been true to my bible reading these past few months and desperately need to get back on track and and put HIM first in my life!!
So glad to hear you are feeling better- hugs to you and here's to us all getting back on track! xo