the heart at thriteenandahalf

i wish i could say i did this list thingy

more frequently when my girls were younger

i love pulling one of them aside
& asking questions
many, i already know the answer to
but we get a little one on one time
i get to capture a mental snapshot of their heart
that day
right where they are

with middle schoolers especially
its fun because the answers might just change
from day to day

but bottom line
a little time spent soaking up their thoughts
brings me great joy
&
they leave with their love tanks just a little more full

sweet emily is at an age
i barely remember
i think i was gosh awful ugly & certainly quite awkward
she is neither of the two



let me introduce my third daughter
born only weeks prior to loosing her biological daddy
yet
the spittin' image of him & his beloved favorite uncle
always smiling
& loved by everyone



emi has a loyal heart
& more friends than she can count

an easy going, non-judgemental spirit
loyal
tender hearted
cries easily
likes things "just so"
cringes at cuss words ( sorry 'bout those sweetie)

best friend to katelyn
keeper of a messy room
lover of pasta
wants to be a school teacher one day

purple painted toes
& a purple ipod
wears a purity ring
great at math
language arts, not so much

lady antebellum fan
smitten with liam hemsworth & channing tatum
estee lauder pleasures
& size 0 at her fave store, american eagle

worships with her entire heart
wears that same heart on her sleeve
chicken nachos, add lettuce, black beans on the side
& drinker of water

hand holder
maternal
angered easily by me
obsessed with facebook
& jon and kate plus 8

no longer afraid of the ocean
loves a photoshoot
fabulous hair
& rookie cheerleader
with awesome toe-touches

favorite scripture~ it is the lord who goes before you. he will be with you. he will not fail nor forsake you. do not fear or be dismayed. deut 3.18
when she told me last night this was her fave scripture, i just smiled. i prayed this verse over & over while i was pregnant with her during the most frightening time of my life. i probably never told her that. god's so cool like that.

i'm so proud of you angel baby
i'm proud to be your mama
& watch you continue to blow me away
with your huge heart
& your forgiving spirit

i'm sorry for the things i haven't done well
you know what they are
& i pray these next few years
for you & i
will be the best!

you are loved

her first prom & a zillion pictures....

i asked a girlfriend of mine how she was coping
her first born baby girl had left just weeks prior to head off to college
she quickly responded that she felt like during the senior year, there's so much bickering between mom & daughter that you're actually ready for them to head out
that stumped me
i'm not an idealist or some goofy mom that thinks my children & i have flawless relationships
but i certainly could never imagine
one of my girls bugging me so much that i'd be more than ready for them to leave

despite her bleak outlook & warning of where i would soon be headed

this last year has been the best yet for me & savannah
i can't imagine what our home will be like when she does go
the complete change in the dynamics of our home

i know
she's only a junior
but...

her first prom was a couple weeks ago
as a parent i feel like there are those events in our lives
where it feels like we're peeking through the chain link fence
looking over into the next ballfield , figuratively of course
the next playing field that they'll head into
a glimpse of our next phase

that weekend was just that for me

i love this age
16 17 18
i feel like she's this great girl
that i thoroughly enjoy hanging out with
laughing with
listening to her explain the difference between just dating
& becoming facebook official
cuz
you know there's a difference , right?


i'm so proud of where she is in her life & the choices she's made
the people she's picked as friends
& those whom she respects
that says alot about her...

anyway
her prom date is such a super guy
they've been best of buddies since she switched from private to public school five years ago
he's precious, smart, loads of fun, grounded spiritually & mighty cute

think i'll leave it at that , wink!

{ so, i apologize in advance for the ridiculous amount of photos...i realize i'm the last one to the party, but pioneer woman has free, yep, free photoshop actions over on her site. you probably already knew that. of course, i just 'bout lost my salvation trying to upload them but now those actions & i have a sweet relationship going on! therefore, i've uploaded four thousand trillion billion photos several of which i ran her actions on... }

(maybe the funniest shot of the night--the spotaneous silly friends in the background...couldn't have staged it any cuter)

{ps, last weekend on my girls trip was out of this world amazing. as soon as i can get some of the photos i'll get my post together}

road trip

road trip weekend!

i 'm so excited the time is finally here

even though i still have seven billion trillion things to do

several weeks ago

cutiepie Ashley invited me, along with 10 other ladies

to what i'm certain is going to be a fantastic amazing weekend

these were her thoughts~

“Here is to new friends, and old, business and pleasure…and all of the things in between…
Here is to learning something new, taking something with you and leaving something behind…
A weekend of encouragement….just because…we share the same Saviour…”

is she precious or what?

oh yeah....ashley, sorry but i totally illegally swiped these pics from your site

i hope we're still all good

i mean if our mug shots were to be featured on your blog, then surely all is fair....right?

did i tell you Ashley is the founder of Blessed Be the Name

good-gracious-alive-cuteness clothes for children

might need to grab something for little bit while i'm there

& the blue truck

could you die?

so while i'm packing up the required cute shoes

camera

bible

& jammies

i'm trying to leave behind the ole insecurity issues

i'm jumping right out of my comfort zone & heading out to meet

all these super duper cute

much younger

& apparantly thinner

gorgeous ladies

for 3 days

oh gosh...what if i snore?

anyway

one of my girlfriends was all freaking out

because of my severely dated cell phone

what? i can't go to the girls weekend with my flip phone?

so

as of yesterday

i am now the owner of a rocking cool phone

i can two thumb text now my friends

i know you are all so impressed

with your pink blackberries & iphones and all

but small steps ok

& i can twitter from it too

so take that

&

for those who i frequently text

remember how i told you to be flattered when you recieve a lengthy text from me

well, see phone on the right

yeah, that's why

i was hoping to get savannah's prom pictures posted

but i've been put on

a must proof first plan

cuz

"my friends read your blog mom"

as if

i were going to say anything that would embarass her

please?

but

between me & you

he is the sweetest guy out there

shhh....

part of our weekend
besides much dining
laughing
spa morning
devotionals
wine & cheese
is a photography workshop!!
yee ha
so
i'll hopefully return throwing words like aperture & ISO speed around
until then

mwah!

a generous heart

i think the character trait that most inspires me

is that of a generous spirit

i often wonder if i'm moved by someones generosity

so profoundly

because i don't see that generosity

or willingness to give

in my own heart

~

.conviction.

but what is conviction if

change doesn't soon follow?

sometimes a gift is given out of abundance

i love these

i love seeing someone who has been blessed financially

knock the ball out of the park

by giving to someone something that they never could have dared

to even dream of

as a society we all love these stories

the pro athlete who grants a terminally ill child his wish

the builders who construct the house for free & then wipe away the mortgage

the millionaire who simply writes the check & the need is met

i often think to myself
if i were "so & so" and had their bank account
i would give
i would give alot

but would i really?




other times the gift is given out of sacrifice
i might just love these more

the family who drives older cars
doesn't have the fanciest iphone
isn't wearing hip fashion
& yet
ponies up the money
~with joy,might i add
to finance a teenagers mission trip
to touch the unloved, the dirty, the forgotten
to be the hands & feet of Jesus


i want to be a giver
i want to give whether its out of an abundance
because lets face it
i might not be as rich as my "so & so" aforementioned friends
but just living in this country
puts my wallet on the abundance side of the scale
&

i want to be a giver

even if the gift is a sacrifice

the last several months i've felt the Lord tugging on my heart

i feel he's planted the desire to do something

for someone

someone in need

someone that i can touch

that i can see

i want to raise altruistic children
so the obvious thing to do
is walk it out for them
show them that their mama wants to be someone who gives

who wants to do more

who wants to make a difference in this city

i want to work or volunteer in a specific "need"
with summer rapidly approaching
i'd love for it to be somewhere that my girls & i can minister along side each other

i've got an idea of where i'd love for that to
be

& with whom

so stay tuned....
{hopefully i can have a story to share soon}

this weekend i'm headed out on a road trip
to meet up with 11 women i've never met before
the event is a ginormous generous gift from a fellow blogger
& i am just beside myself tickled
& can't wait to share all about it


one more thing to share...
a few posts ago i shared about some medical issues caroline has been dealing with

caroline received a huge package
loaded
i mean loaded
with gifts from a family we've never met
a fellow blogger with five children
just loving on a little girl who had been sick on her birthday

i handed her this ( heavy ) package & told her it was for her
she said ever so sweetly...."they sent all this just for me?"
the hands of Jesus
tangible love for a stranger
a cute one , but a stranger no less

this mama , i'm certain doesn't want me to spotlight her
but after i emailed her & gushed with gratitude
she told me there was more

a few days later caroline received this...

a precious necklace made by lisa leonard
who incidentally has the most generous spirit herself

then
that same mama
sent me
this

to celebrate my ( "p") anniversary with "d"


now that's the kinda person i want to be ............

to my generous friend,you know who you are

thank you

to my generous friend Ashley,

I can't wait to meet you, learn more about your company, & your ministry

& hug your precious neck

thank you

you women make me want to be a better woman myself

xo