kinda wondering if i'm doing it all right..

i'll be honest,
there's been a few rocky days around the knudsen home this summer.

with 5 females

3 of which are teenagers

one of which has been on her own for a year

one of which is heading rapidly into teenage years

& a mom who is trying desperately to keep up with everybody & everything

{a calm dog & a calm hubby--they're never in the hot seat}

we've had a few bumps in the road.

it's hard enough to let a friend down 

but when to realize we've dropped the ball with one of our children
it's a tough pill to swallow.

& our older children. wow. they can call us out mighty quickly.

maybe not so gently. but usually full of truth.

the other day one of my girls was very upset with me

because i'm "always on the phone or computer".

at first i thought, well yes. i am always on the phone or computer.

i have a job or two missy!

she of course was right. 

i am , let's go with often verses always, on my phone or computer.

this particular daughter's love language is quality time

& clearly, i haven't made spending time with just her a priority lately.

 funny thing?

just the night prior i laid in bed and thought

"what am i doing?"

i don't know how to run one business 

much less two.

i don't know how to best utilize my blog?
& monetize? haven't figured all that out yet.

i mean really, who knows all these things?

i've never been to a blog conference where some one tells me what i'm supposed to be doing

i've never taken a small business course

& i've never taken a photography class

( if any future client would like to cancel after that declaration...)

i feel like i redefined my little life last year
made some big girl decisions, made some financial investments

& then just stepped out there & did it.

while i LOVE what i'm doing

i'm finding the balance of working from home (during the summer especially)

to be quite the challenge.

i feel like i'm never quite "there" with everything.

the anxiety of seldom being caught up is a new feeling-

& rumor has it, that's just part of the daily deal.

trying to balance giving the appropriate necessary attention

to the lord

to my family

to my jobs

to my friendships

to my laundry

(add in exercise & the dog)

is a tough tight walk on a tightrope inwhich i'm not sure i'm doing such a great job

i need to supplement our income

& honestly, i love that i can help provide

(or atleast pay for my target & anthropologie runs)

i want to be a good steward of my talents

& i want to do things well.

i know with a small business these days

social networking really is a must.

 period.

i think of the friendships that have developed from this blog.

life long friendships that are priceless to me.

i would have never known about noonday

much less persued that awesome journey.

both of my business adventures have basically begun because facebook word of mouth or

connections via blogging.

the photography. the journaling. the blogging.

it's all a circle

in my minds eye i see it all, my little life, as a group of circles that overlap

my relationship with the lord

my family

my friendships

my work

& my blog.

they all overlap. they're all connected.

they're all very important to me. 

they all require time and commitment

and somedays i can do a few well

but i can't do them all well everyday.

it's very important to me to be real.
to be open.
to share not only the successes & joys in my life
but to admit when i struggle & when i've failed
& then to grow from it all.

it doesn't do me any good at the end of the day
if i've connected all day on instagram & facebook
 & answered all emails within 24 hours
yet
one of my own is not feeling very loved or very important...


so,

i just wanted to share today.
my real thoughts
from a real home
( a real dusty, filled with dog hair home)
where 6 people are still learning how to best love each other

& i also hope to encourage you too ~
be a good steward with your gifts & talents
let your light shine wherever you are
whether that's a toyfilled home today with a toddler or in a swank office downtown.
open your heart, be vulnerable & share your struggles with someone you trust
allow them to be close to you.
find someone to encourage & love on today.
do all that you do well & love your work
connect with your hubby & each of your babies in the way that makes them feel loved
bottom line,
love others well today.

 i'm sure gonna try....