Wednesday, September 22, 2010

virginia




the call came late last night~
one of my girlfriends from years ago
had lost her daughter  in a car accident saturday night

she was on her way home from the auburn clemson game
they say she died instantly

virginia was only17 years old


ginger
or gengah as her mama would pronounce
and i met at the same church 20something years ago
the very place where i met both dan & gregg


she was a confident strawberry blonde auburn alum
who loved the Lord with all her heart
she inspired me to be a better person

we both fell in love with our fellas and got married around the same time
she moved back to montgomery
i stayed here in atlanta
her baby girl virginia was born only a few months after savannah

for 17 years i have eagerly awaited each christmas card
i've loved watching that beautiful baby girl
grow into one of the most gorgeous young women i've ever seen

virginia.... took your breath away


this morning i drove to alabama

part of me wondered if this was all a mistake
surely this was not reality

as i drove i began to think of my precious friend ginger
how had she found out?
what had the last 48 hours been like for her?
my friend was going to bury her baby girl today....
i couldn't wrap my mind around this
i just couldn't

i walked into the church
which overflowed capacity
i stood in the line to greet "the family"
the line was so long
i knew there wasn't going to be time to see my friend
to let her know i loved her
to let her know i was so so very sorry

i texted my hubby
& told him i was about to break an unwritten funeral rule
i was going to cut in line
yes ma'am
i got out of my place & began walking across the room
as soon as i saw ginger
my heart realized it was true....her baby girl was gone
it was no mistake


she was speaking to some younger girls
she looked up & we made eye contact
she began to cry
i fell apart
period
so much for a support
she mumbled things like i'm so sorry i didn't call personally, i can't believe you drove, can you join us for lunch
i was speechless
i tried to tell her i loved her

virginia had a precious relationship with Jesus
she encouraged her friends
she spent time in the word
she loved others with a christ-like heart

a young woman who lived intentionally
oh how i hope the same may be said of me

on the drive home i spent some time on the phone with one of my best life long friends
jami
jami gave birth to a baby boy named levi the week gregg died

levi was diagnosed with a brain tumor the week i gave birth to caroline
levi was diagnosed on the very hospital ward i had worked for years

my life long dear friend
buried her baby boy only a few years after i buried my husband

ginger, jami & i
we know where they are
& we know we will see them again one day

but for today & for quite some time
my heart hurts for my friend, ginger








In Christ, there are no goodbyes
And in Christ, there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again
 

65 comments:

Urban Farmgirl said...

Oh, Paige...your post has brought so many tears that I didn't expect. I lost my niece 5 years ago in a car accident. She was only 22. They say it was instant, and they mean well when they tell you that, but somehow it made little difference to me. She is still gone. I come from a large family, so I was the Aunt that was only 7 years older than her. We were close and to this day I wake up and swear it isn't real. How can it be possible things like this happen? I know there are reasons. There has to be. But still, it just seems so unreal.

My thoughts are with all of you.

~mary~

Kat said...

This is so heartbreaking. When a precious life is cut so short. She is walking with Jesus now. Prayers for your sweet friend and prayers for you too. It is so difficult to see our loved ones in pain, however, it gives great comfort to know that you love them and that you are there for them. After one of my dear friends recently lost a child, I would cry every time I saw her, still do at times, I felt so silly, but she told me it touched her heart to see how much I cared.

kpb said...

i am sobbing, as a mother, as a christ follower . . . my heart is breaking for this mom! broken . . .

traci said...

oh paige. i am so sorry. i don't have words right now. it is tragic. you did the right thing cutting in line. you might not have made it to her otherwise. she needed you and you needed her. my girlfriend lost her son almost one year ago now. he was the same age as karlie. it's so hard. we just hug her and cry with her and laugh with her. hugs to you sweetie!!! love ya.

The Little Red Shop said...

God bless you all! I'm praying!

: (

Julie M.

angie on maui said...

Hi Paige,

I linked over to your blog from Susan's (FiveGreatKiddos) simply because the title of your blog drew me in. So imagine my sadness when the first post I read is about Virginia, and your dear friends' loss. What a tragedy. Please know that I am thinking of you, your friend and her family, and that I am so very sorry. Life is so precious and it is very humbling to know that everything can change in an instant.

Virginia sounds like an incredible soul; undoubtedly, she has touched the lives of many.

Take care.

Hugs.
- Angie

Amy said...

Ahhhh my friend. So much we do not understand. My thoughts are with you and that family in this tragic event.

Lindsey said...

So sorry for your loss and for your friend!! I cannot even imagine this!! What a beautiful girl she was, and it is obvious she was a beauty inside and out.

That Mercy Me song has brought me comfort during a loss, and it is so true!!! You and the family are in my thoughts and prayers!!

Lissa said...

oh I'm so sorry for that family. It's so very sad.

Tammy said...

Dear Paige- My heart breaks for your friend, the family and for you. You are all in my prayers. Such a beautiful young girl.
Take Care
Tammy :-)

Christina said...

my friend,
reading this breaks me... it breaks my heart right in the place, where i am a mother the most.

i send prayers to Father God...
XO

Melanie said...

My sweet friend...

I am so sorry for the ache that each of you has felt...the loss of your loveliest of loved ones.
There are no words to make it better.. but many hugs, tears and phone calls at least make it a bit more bearable.

Your families are all in my prayers tonight. May the promise of sunshine from above give you strength and warm your hearts.

God's Blessings to you, Paige.

Love you.
Melanie

Tricia - A Rosy Note said...

This is so, so sad. It made me teary-eyed. I think the loss of a child would be any mother's worst nightmare. I can't imagine. My heart goes out to your friend and her family.

Debra said...

I am so sorry. I can't even imagine what your friend is going through. You are such a good friend. She will remember you being there for her forever. Life is so fragile. It can change in an instant. Thinking of you.

creative bug said...

i could really feel you n your pain.....though strangers...may there be peace in our heart, mind and soul. AMEN!

Julie said...

heartbreaking...so sorry for her family and you too...so sad...

Erin Butson said...

praying for you all.

Louise said...

You are a wonderful friend and will be of huge comfort in small and large ways over the years to the mother. I can't and won't even try to imagine her pain, and yes, her daughter was (is) a beauty.

Danielle said...

John 11: 25 Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: 26 And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die.
my thoughts are with you and the family..

Anonymous said...

what a baby doll,her eyes say it all, please say it isn't true!
i've never been to your blog before and i don't even know how i got here, but what a shame, what a loss. what an Angel. It just can't be true, so sad !

Anonymous said...

Dear Virginia, there is something in your heart and soul that has really touched me. God Bless you sweet baby. That's all that should be said. Amen.

Betty Jo said...

Don't know how I found your blog this past week, but I did. Bookmarked it to come back and say "Hello" when possible, as I'm in the midst of a move this week. I felt compelled to come back by today and I'm so glad I did, although I'm a muddle of tears at the moment. I'm sooooooo very sorry for your friend's loss, what a gorgeous girl. I lost my baby sister (24) in a car accident a few years ago. The pain of that has only been surpassed by the loss of my precious husband two years ago. I am so thankful they both knew Christ and that we will be together again someday. ♥

Privet and Holly said...

Paige, there really
are NO words that
can help at a time
like this; only hugs
and love and the knowledge
that a spirit larger
than our own walks beside
us. I am so so sorry
at the world's loss of
Virginia ~ and her family's.
My heart is just aching.
You are all in my thoughts
and prayers.
xx Suzanne

Dawn said...

sending love to your broken heart... thankful that you have this bond of friends who really know, but wish the reason was otherwise. i'm certain that seeing your face in the crowd meant so much to ginger...

Melissa said...

Today I will try to live for Christ alone - showing Him to everyone I meet...because I have been inspired by Virginia. Prayers and hugs for you, Paige!

Firefly Hill said...

Paige,

That is just tragic...I am so sorry.
It seems so unreal that something like that could happen.

Thinking of you,

annie

melissa said...

Oh sweet Paige ... this is so heartbreaking. I am so, so very sorry. Words are not enough.

A friend of mine lost her oldest daughter 2 years ago in a tragic car accident just 2 weeks into her freshman year at Alabama. My heart still aches for her and the loss of her beautiful daughter whose name was also Virginia (she went by both first and middle name - Virginia Grey).

Big hugs to you, Paige. My prayers are with you and Virginia's family. May God guide you all through this time of deep sorrow and may His peace, strength and love bring comfort.

xo

katieb said...

Paige~

Sending hugs your way~

~Kate

Alison said...

We got that phone call 4 years ago when my precious 20 year old nephew was killed in an accident. The shock is the thing that is hardest to bear. Just to try and believe that someone so loved could be gone. I wrote about it here if you care to read it sometime. http://alisonagnew.blogspot.com/2010/02/peopling-of-heaven.html

Praying for Ginger and her family.

Jill said...

I am so sorry Paige. Any death is tragic, always seems more so when it is a young person at just the infancy of their time here on earth. As the mother of two young daughters, this hits home for me. I can't imagine....
Prayers for you and your friend Ginger.
xo~Jill

The Graves said...

Paige,
I cannot exactly feel the capacity of pain that your friends have felt and that you have felt... but I have witnessed it firsthand. My nephew was killed in a car accident going from Ole Miss to Kentucky for a football game... he was only 21 years old and our family's hearts were absolutely broken. And as you know I have witnessed the pain of way too many families at Aflac. I am praying for all of these families, and you, today and every day! How wonderful that this isn't the end... only an "until"!
Cathy Graves

sugar said...

my heart is broken for this mother, for her family, and for you. i have a daughter that just turned 17 over the summer. it would be unbearable to lose her. i will be praying for this mother, and this family. so much we do not understand. but how thankful we may be that we know she is with our Father in heaven.

Jen Kershner said...

I just can't imagine how a mother survives such a thing. I'm sure seeing your sweet face in that crowd was a blessing to her. You are such a precious friend.

Anne Marie said...

Dear Paige...what a heart breaking event for her mother...and all who knew her daughter -

having reassurance that she loved the Lord and lived her life close to Him is comforting...but still so sad...

you know I'll be praying for the family to get through this -
xo+blessings,
Anne Marie (a big hug for you today Paige)

Jboo said...

Heartbreaking -- I am so sorry.


Janet

My Vintage Studio said...

I am so sorry for your lost and your friend's. You will be my prayers.

Blessings. Sharon

The Rural Life (aka Cornbread Fed) said...

What a beautiful, beautiful girl. It is tragic. 9 years marked the death of a boy I walked home from school with everyday. It doesn't seem like it's been so long. I'm so sorry.

Heather said...

I am so very sorry.

Flower Patch Farmgirl said...

Such a beautiful, personal tribute to a life lived well. Praying right now for those left behind.

tara said...

I don't understand things like this, I really don't, it makes me so so sad, all of it, tears are welling in my eyes, i am so sorry for your friend Ginger, and your friend Jami...so so sorry...thought are with you all. xo

Sheila said...

My prayers to you and your friends and family! Such a tradegy~

Ellie said...

so very sad. i'm so touched by your post - so inspired to live intentionally and pray like crazy that my children will also. Ginger must be so comforted by the fact that Virginia touched so many lives.

she truly was/is a gorgeous girl. how very difficult. sending hugs & prayers.

feather said...

i don't know that i know what to say. but i couldn't just click away from what i read. from what you and your friends have experienced. i'm sorry. i'm sorry for your loss and her loss and the loss that every woman, mother, and wife has ever experienced. may god bless your families.

Molly said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, Paige, and I'm sure you'll hug all of your girls a bit tighter tonight. Thank you for such beautiful words though. I know your friend was grateful you had driven to be by her side.

Farmgirl Paints said...

This breaks my heart Paige. I'm so sorry for your loss. One of my friend's daughters lost a close friend this week too. It's beyond heartbreaking to attend a funeral of one so young. It's just not right. Thank God that the family knows Jesus. Even though the pain is unbearable she has the Lord to lean on. Praying for you friend.

Outofmymind said...

Heaven has another beautiful angel. My prayers are with you and all of those who have lost a loved one.

Prudence said...

oh I am crying for you, and your friends but I am rejoicing those loved ones are in heaven. What a blessed hope we have, without that I would be lost. It also blesses me to know that my mom was probably part of Virginia's welcome home party! May God bless and comfort all of you.

Allison said...

Lifting you all up to the Lord......

"The Lord bless you and keep you. The Lord make His face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up His countenance upon you and give you peace." Numbers 6:24-26

Love,
allison

vintage girl at heart said...

I read this yesterday and went and read the articles and came back to read your post again.
So sad and such a loss...it really hits close to home too.
I know this may be a strange question but were they able to donate her organs?
My prayers have been going out to her family and yours.
I am so thankful that you were able to attend her funeral..I know it meant the world to her Momma.
Blessings~

3 Peanuts said...

OH Paige. This is just heart wrenching really. These stories BREAK my heart. There is no good time to die but I think this stage/age is the hardest for me to hear about.. They have made it through the tough teen years. They are on the precipice of college and adulthood. You know the child turned out well with a heart for the Lord. It is so hard to understand.

I will pray for Virginia's family. I am sure they will ahve many many hard days ahead.

Hugs to you too my friend.

Jodee Leader said...

What a tragedy. I, too, am so sorry for your loss. Sending hugs and prayers from Nebraska.

Between You and Me said...

praying with an overwhelmed heart tonight....for each of you who have experienced such loss.

thankful to Jesus for the comfort and peace that only He can give.

All That Jazz said...

There are no words.....my heart goes out to you, and your dear friend's family at this time. Hang in there.
{{{{{{hugs}}}}}
~michelle!

Tina said...

Oh dear Paige, my heart aches and my tears are flowing for your dear friend. My most heartfelt thoughts are with Virginia's family and with you at this incredibly sad time. Much love ~ Tina xx

Half Gaelic, Half Garlic! said...

Paige, I am so very sorry.....this is so very sad and tragic. I am sitting here sobbing as I read your beautiful words.

Sending prayers to Virgina, her family, and all those that loved her and are working through the pain.

xoxo,

Lisa

mimi charmante said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kimberly at mimicharmante said...

Paige,
I really have no words, as, anything I could come up with seems small and empty. I can't begin to imagine what Ginger is going through - what she has dealt with is my biggest fear in life. I don't know how one gets through times such as these, but I do know that having friends like you, who you know are there heart and soul make it possible.
She will be in my thoughts - as will you.
Much love,
xx

Alecia said...

Oh man...I am soooo sorry. Please let your friend know...her sister in Oklahoma is lifting them up in prayer right now.

Anne - Fiona and Twig said...

My heart breaks for this dear family.
I am so very sorry, and I'll be holding all involved close in prayer this night.

Love to you, Paige.

Anne

Rie said...

It's so hard to understand when someone so young and full of life is taken from us. I'm so sorry to hear this news. I'm praying for your friend and family as they are walking through this trial. So thankful she knew the Lord.

angela said...

Such a devastating loss and you created a beautiful post in her honor. She is absolutely gorgeous. We will pray for any kind of peace for her Mom tonight.

Martha said...

I cannot imagine the rush of feelings for everyone involved...I'm so glad you cut in line as well as from what you wrote it looks like it meant the world to her...hugs to you all sweet one ~ that is just the imagineable to me and I'm sure so unreal for them
xo

Gypsy Heart said...

There really are no words ~ and I cannot imagine the pain. My prayers are with her family and for you and Jami too. HUGE losses bring such heartache...and the only positive is knowing they had Christ in their hearts and they are now with Him.

Just Ask Beth said...

I scolled down after I left my comment.. so sad, I was at the beach with children and girlfriends watching that game and cannot believe a beautiful child was gone.. like that.. God only knows his intentions and we must TRY to understand..praying for comfort

La Borda Bleu said...

in my prayers...xoxo's nancy