Thursday, August 14, 2008

today






i can't thank you enough for each of your words of encouragement. i received many private emails from some of you sharing your similiar stories. i told one friend, it's amazing what you discover when you let your guard down~ allow others to see a glimpse of who you really are and the things you struggle with. inevitably, you will find many others who come along beside you who have traveled the same road.

when the nurse first called and told me to come back for a biopsy , i had no idea where my original results fell on the medical continuum. obviously, fearing the worst case scenario was the route i went with. ugh. i hate that i do that. fear & anxiety just flat out robs you.....robs your peace, your joy, even robs your day. i have spent a good portion of the last several days writing out scriptures on 4x6 cards ( actually, a cute 'real simple' brand little thingy from target). it disappoints me that it often takes a crisis to get me back on my knees in constant prayer. anyway....the results showed an area of moderate level dysplasia-precancer....he reassured me that i do not have cancer but do have an area that will need to be removed . i will need to have outpatient surgery that i haven't scheduled yet.

i pray that my imaginations & fears will not get the best of me. that i won't sprint all the way down the road of the dreaded what if's---i think everyone, but especially mommies can relate to the fears of what if's as it relates to our children & the time we spend raising them. our days can change in the blink of an eye....for good or for bad. i pray that i can fully live in God's grace & be the mom & wife He's called me to be, each moment of each day...nothing more , nothing less.

thank you again sweet friends~ you are a blessing to me!

Isaiah 40.10

So do not fear, for I am with you.

Do not be dismayed for I am your God.

I will strengthen you & help you.

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

36 comments:

CJ, the Purple Diva said...

I am so sorry. I will keep you in my prayers.
I love all the pictures of you and your family!
You are a blessing to all of us!
Hugs to you.

Andria said...

Paige,

I have been lurking on your blog for months without a comment. I love to see pictures of your beautiful girls, I am the mother of 3 boys. Who desperately wants a girl I might add.

I am so relieved that this is not cancer. I love your blog, your spirit, and your open faith. I meant to comment when you lost your mother-in-law. You will be in my prayers.

Jboo said...

Have been keeping you and family in my thoughts and prayers. And it sounds positive, so that is good news. I know we Moms, especially, worry so -- more about others than ourselves, but remember to take care of yourself too. Enjoy your beautiful family and this busy, back-to-school time of year.

Janet

kosec@sbcglobal.net said...

Once again, PRAISE GOD!

Kristin said...

My tender friend,

You are being lifted up in prayer. In praying for you I am just demand the fear feelings leave, and that is that and that peace will be what you feel and hope too! I pray 100% healed and great, no on second thought my sweet friend, amazing health! That is my prayer for you. Take hold of His hand and know he is holding you back. I pray that this just gets resolved quickly. I love you much friend! Hugs and many smiles your way. Thank you for feeling ok to being open with your heart and thoughts. KNOW, that you know that i am here for you.

xo

Molly said...

Paige,

I've never written before, but I wanted to tell you how much I've enjoyed reading your blog. You've been such an inspiriation to me through both the beautiful pictures you've shared and the beautiful words you've written. Since you write with such gratitude, sweetness and optimism, I always feel uplifted.

I'm so happy and relieved to hear that everything's going to be okay because I, like most, was worried after reading that you needed a biopsy. However, I've had several friends who've undergone the same surgery for dysplasia, and they're all doing remarkably! So, I hope this provides you with some comfort. Until then, I'll be keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers...

mommyinmichigan said...

Paige,

I'm glad to see that I am not the only "lurker" here =0) I too am a first time poster.

I just wanted to let you know that I had the same thing when I was 17 and here I am today, 27, free and clear and the mommy to a beautiful little boy! I had to have a biopsy and an out patient procudure as well, along with some follow ups every 3-6 months for the next year or so after that.

I will be thinking about you in the days ahead - I know everything will be okay!

Kate said...

Thank you for posting your good news! I have been checking back and hoping to see such a post. Will continue to keep you in thoughts and prayers...please take care of yourself...and no printing allowed!!

I love the pictures of your beautiful family...

Jen said...

Thanks for the update. I've been praying and will continue to pray for you.

Robyn said...

Paige! Thank goodness that it is not cancer and just the pre part. Hurry make that appointment. YOu have been in my thoughts and prayers when you first mentioned something here! Think of you often dear paige! You are a blessing to all of us!
Love ya!

Cathy Louise said...

Well you have touched all our lives as well sweet friend...Sending big hugs your way...Luv C xxxx

jackie said...

Paigie...
I have been checking your blog every day since your last post awaiting an update from you.
(Well, I check your blog every day, no matter what you have blogged about previously).
But, was so glad to see your update today. I have been praying for you. Glad to hear that things sound positive.
I truly intended to email you, but just plain kept forgetting (bad excuse).
I wanted to post my all-time favorite verse. I claim it for nearly EVERYTHING that I come up against, no matter what the subject.
I love to pass it on to others.
It is very similar to yours and just a few verses down from yours.
(I think you intended for your reference to read Isaiah 41:10) ??

Here's mine :

Isaiah 41:13
For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.

Love you,
Jackie Carl (Marion, IN)

For the Love of Cottage said...

Hi Paige,
I had the same exact thing (dysplasia) 20 some years ago and had to have a cone biopsy. Everything turned out fine. I am so glad it is not more serious than that. I'm not making light of it at all, I am just relieved it isn't cancer. I know what you mean about what it takes sometimes to bring us back to our knees.

Hugs,
LeAnn:)

Ramona said...

I too visit your blog almost daily...you are a wonderful artist. God Bless you on your journey...you will be okay, I feel it in my ol' bones. I know something that helps me beyond anything when I go though stressful times....and I think that you and I are very alike in the worrying department...what I try to do is to live in the moment with graditude. It sounds like an easy thing to do...and it takes practice but when you really get the hang of it...it can work wonders for your stress. When you mind starts to worry...stop, think of all of your blessings and modern medicine and smile.

So here's to today and all of the wonderful people thinking of you and praying for you.

You are in my prayers,
Smiles ~ Ramona

Amy said...

I have been checking in to hear the results so am relieved for you that the "knowing" has arrived. Sometimes it is the NOT KNOWING that really flicks that fear switch. It is the dark WHAT IFs that sneak up and gag us with heart pounding anxiety. You are correct - you are upheld in His righteous hand and yes, even though things can change in the blink of an eye...you are also the apple of His eye and each day His love and peace can enfold you so completely, that it is in this day-by-day trust-choice that we keep walking as true daughters of the King. I love seeing pics of your family - they shine.

Clare said...

Oh Paige, I hope the surgery goes well and you recover quickly. I am sure that you were really nervous and we were all thinking about you! lots of love! Clare

Chris and Deb said...

I am so glad to read your post tonight Paige! You have so been in my thoughts and prayers! Sounds like things are looking up! Our minds can certainly take something and run with it! I have been there....I think it is quite common with moms! Hope you can have a little R&R time to yourself this weekend! Take care my friend!
Hugs!
Deb

Chris and Deb said...

BTW...forgot to tell you that I love your beautiful photos of your gorgoeus family!

velvet brick said...

May I say how grateful I am that this is easily treatable??!! Paige, I said a prayer for you yesterday as I was in 'the tube' for my mri's. I said another one for you today, as well. God is good and He is with you and your family. I pray that He takes away your anxiety, your fear and that He does not let the unknown and dread rob you of one more day!!!
Blessings to all of you, dear friend. : )
VB

Anonymous said...

Paige,
What wonderful pictures. They're full of life. Your family is beautiful and surely blessed. You are truly living in God's grace. Thank you for letting your guard down.
~ Patricia,Burlington,ON,Canada

Heather H said...

thank goodness that you are faithful to keep up with your annual appointments. it's people like you who help the statistics! and, there is much less to worry about knowing that you found it before it could progress to worse!

thank you for reminding me of those great verses - and about putting them IN FRONT OF MY FACE to be sure that our mind is constantly going to the Word.

you inspire me.

HH

Heather H said...

thank goodness that you are faithful to keep up with your annual appointments. it's people like you who help the statistics! and, there is much less to worry about knowing that you found it before it could progress to worse!

thank you for reminding me of those great verses - and about putting them IN FRONT OF MY FACE to be sure that our mind is constantly going to the Word.

you inspire me.

HH

janae said...

Paige~
Thank you for sharing with us and I will keep you in my thoughts and I prayers. I know we have talked before about rediscovering God for me, and although I had the best intentions, it was just this past Sunday (through a personal "crisis" of my own) that I have rediscovered the power and presence of God in my life. God will keep you in his crook and not give you more than you can handle. The past weeks sermon was about God reaching out to us everyday...little whispers that if we are truly listening can hear..I felt God calling out to me...maybe now, he is calling out to you...which is why you have been able to take the time for the scripture cards. God Bless you and your family.
Thinking of you,
Janae

Jen@The Cottage Nest said...

I'm praying for you Paige and completely understand the road your thoughts are taking you down. Stand strong girl. Easier said than done, I know. Jen

Jake and Taryn said...

Paige,

Big hugs to you. I am so thankful that it is not cancer. My Dad actually had a sign of precancer on his chest. It was removed and all has been well. It is amazing that it usually takes crisis and trying times to get us on our knees. But, God is always there and for that I am so thankful. God is good and I know he is watching over you.

Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Blessings and praise to the Lord!

Pink Slippers said...

I will pray for you. As Mommies and wives, when we have problems it's our love for them that will help us lift our eyes up. Remember God knows everything and everything we are going through. He NEVER leaves us. Your family is beautiful and so is your photography. Please tell me you do it professionally. They are great.

Anonymous said...

Paige, I visit your blog so often. I want to thank you so very much for your generosity and the beauty of what you have created here.
I worried about you and prayed for you when I read the August 7 post and in the days since.
I'm glad your fear has been relieved. I, too, can fear the worst all too easily and it does take me far away from the wonder of living.
Andyann - Phoenix, Arizona

doris said...

what a beautiful family you have. so glad to hear your news was better than you thought. i'll keep you in my prayers. :D

CourtneyB said...

hello dearest Paige,

Thank you for the Dr. Seuss characters! I'll enjoy using them in March for Dr. Seuss' b-day. I was so thrilled to finally meet you! I put a little shout out to you on my blog... :O) Thinking of you!

Blessings,
Courtney

Rita said...

Oh (((Paige))) I'm sorry you have to go through this, but I'm so happy to read your update. Prayers are always answered. Stay strong my sweet friend. xo

Half Gaelic, Half Garlic! said...

Paige,

I recently found your blog through someone elses....can't remember who, but anyway, the first post I read was the one where you got the call....I have been checking in to see any news.

I am so relieved to hear that it was just displasia....that is such wonderful news...the best. Please promise that even though it is minor you will have it taken care of...it is nothing to mess around with, as I am sure you know.

I myself had cervical cancer at the age of 25, followed by stage III ovarian cancer at 27 and I am a survivor, 9 years in remission....I thank God everyday for the miracle of life and a second chance.

You are so blessed...you have a beatiful family and incredible talent....I will continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers!

Lisa

preppylittledress said...

hope everything turns out okay, you are in our thoughts & prayers!

Bella's momma said...

You are a blessing to me. Thank you for opening yourself up and being transparent. It is beautiful because Christ shines through.

Hugs and many well wishes,

Krista

3 Peanuts said...

Paige,

I have been praying for you while we were making the move and wondering what the news was. I am sorry that you need to have this surgery but so relieved it is not worse. I have had a few friends have this procedure and they are all fine. One even had a baby a year or two later:)

Hugs,
Kim

bari said...

Oh, Paige. I'm so relieved to read this. You've been on my mind. Smiles and cheers! XO,
bari

carolyn peeler said...

Paige,
It's taken me a bit to catch up with you as I've been traveling, but I wanted to post and share in your joy in the fact that your health issues aren't near as bad as you had feared. Although it's never fun to be fearful about health situations, it's wonderful to hear that it's brought you closer to the Father.
Have a great week.