today

i can't thank you enough for each of your words of encouragement. i received many private emails from some of you sharing your similiar stories. i told one friend, it's amazing what you discover when you let your guard down~ allow others to see a glimpse of who you really are and the things you struggle with. inevitably, you will find many others who come along beside you who have traveled the same road.

when the nurse first called and told me to come back for a biopsy , i had no idea where my original results fell on the medical continuum. obviously, fearing the worst case scenario was the route i went with. ugh. i hate that i do that. fear & anxiety just flat out robs you.....robs your peace, your joy, even robs your day. i have spent a good portion of the last several days writing out scriptures on 4x6 cards ( actually, a cute 'real simple' brand little thingy from target). it disappoints me that it often takes a crisis to get me back on my knees in constant prayer. anyway....the results showed an area of moderate level dysplasia-precancer....he reassured me that i do not have cancer but do have an area that will need to be removed . i will need to have outpatient surgery that i haven't scheduled yet.

i pray that my imaginations & fears will not get the best of me. that i won't sprint all the way down the road of the dreaded what if's---i think everyone, but especially mommies can relate to the fears of what if's as it relates to our children & the time we spend raising them. our days can change in the blink of an eye....for good or for bad. i pray that i can fully live in God's grace & be the mom & wife He's called me to be, each moment of each day...nothing more , nothing less.

thank you again sweet friends~ you are a blessing to me!

Isaiah 40.10

So do not fear, for I am with you.

Do not be dismayed for I am your God.

I will strengthen you & help you.

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.