all over the place

yesterday i finally tamed the beast

referred to as "my inbox"

next task=

organizing my photo files

which are taking over valuable real estate on my hard drive

so i thought i'd use some random photos

& do an entry catch up style

lately i have become obsessed with taking photos of flowers

they sit still & don't complain

while i'm playing around with aperture

they don't mind me taking 700 images of them

in an effort to get it right

{no subliminal message intended for my daughters-wink}

please tell me this is normal behavior

florals give me endless opportunities

to play around with actions & textures

dan & i on Father's Day
the little metallic flats are currently on sale at the Gap
for something ridiculous like 7 bucks

& are super duper comfy

my sweet bff Kristin sent me this rockin cuff bracelet for my birthday
she's so awesome
she remembered that i had posted months ago how much i wanted one
made by carissa

i stuck some candles in the uber cool packaging just for fun

don't we all love trader joes?
even their packaging makes their already yummy food
even more yummy

they don't sell mayfield
but it went with my lemon theme that day

seriously yummy pasta sauce



my current pedicure fave
essie's chinchilly

i love lapis of luxury & main squeeze too

found this ginormous fun beachy print

on sale at hobby lobby for less than &10

& the barnwood style frame on clearance at micheals for $20

scored the red lantern at pottery barn after christmas for 1/2 price

i started collecting these vietri dishes a few years ago

each trip to the beach i would come home with a new piece

love these little cuties

but sadly i think they are discontinued

love it when he wears his ballcap backwards

i call him slugger

when i bought this home

one of the big selling points for me was the back porch

we live on a busy road & sometimes

i sit outside listening to the sound of passing cars

& pretend it's the sound of crashing waves

i'm weird like that

we just planted peonies along the border

how incrediblely blissful that will be

if they can survive the africa heat down here in georgia

this little wren has been our little sleepover guest lately

she flies in at twilight

& flutters away around sunrise

her little mate serenades & visits her multiple times before she turns in each night

it's the most precious thing

we're praying, meditating, hoping, wishing, crossing fingers

& sending all the good thoughts and wishes we have

to the gulf coast

where we still plan to head

in ten sleeps!!!!!!

the end

the natural

i had always known you were a man of integrity

a kind , gentle and loyal man

but during Gregg's illness

i saw a man with a self-less heart for others

a man who would lay down his life for those that he loved

when Gregg was sick

& often felt too poorly to interact with the girls

you would sit on the floor for hours

crayons

barbies

tea parties

you would be Demetri while Savannah was Anastasia

you melted all of our hearts

a few years after Gregg's passing

our friendship deepened

i remember the moment i fell in love with you
sadly , we were attending the funeral of one of the most amazing women
Carol St. Clair
i was so broken hearted that she had passed
you went with me to the funeral
the first funeral i had attended since Gregg's death
tender & protective
you knew my heart was reliving all the grief from a couple years prior
i felt so safe with you






when we married
you became an immediate daddy
to three little girls
all four of us, completely smitten
you were a natural
you never skipped a beat

& i don't think they did either

i think the greatest character quality you have
is that you show the girls & i
the tender heart of God
slow to anger
quick to forgive & quicker to mend
strength & gentleness all wrapped up in 6 foot 4
loyal
& selfless
thank you for telling me you love me 734 times a day
for cleaning dishes after every meal
& mailing me love letters
for taking me to my favorite place in the world, every year
for living in home full of white furniture, white towels & white sheets
for never leaving the toilet seat up
or dirty clothes on the floor
for agreeing to take me out to eat when i don't feel like cooking
& letting me choose where we'll go

sweet dan, thank you for saving your heart & your soul for me
i don't deserve you

i'm truly convinced
that when we are all up in Heaven
Gregg's gonna give you a big high five
& thank you for raising his 3 baby girls
no finer man
you
the natural

allofmylove2you

happy fathers day sweet man
& happy fathers day to my own dad
thank you for loving mom for the last 45 years
& for raising me in a godly loving home
you were the first man to show me a loyal heart
& a steadfast love for the Lord

happy fathers day to pop pop
who was married to sweet grammy for 52 years
a kinder gentler man i have never known
i think my sweet dan learned everything he knows
from you

i love you guys!
xo

(for those of you who aren't familiar with my story...i lost my first husband , gregg to cancer. a few years later dan & i married. gregg & i had three girls. they were each under the age of 3 when he passed away. dan & i married and we had caroline. dan adopted my three girls. he has always been daddy to them. they are blessed to have the godly heritage of two wonderful men. one biologically & one by choice. but loved immeasurably by both men)

i've come a long way baby

we come from a long line of women
who have slow growing hair
i think i looked like a little boy until i was in middle school
which conjures up very ugly unpleasant memories
in & of itself

anyway
i never understood why my mom
always kept me in a short cut
not until my own girls were trying to grow out their own hair style
did i understand




caroline often talks about wanting long hair
long hair like sissies
i try to explain to her that right now
her cute little hair just won't grow that long
it will one day
just not yet




so we maximize what we've got
& once she actually needed a hair cut
which i think was around 5 years old
stacked bob was the plan






the other day
she told me
"mama, i want to get a new hair cut"
i tried to explain that there wasn't a plethora of options
so she did what any self respecting woman would do
she went to google
& came up with her own idea

she wanted a spikey look in the back

"you know, like kate gosselin's other hair"

&"with bangs"

let me tell ya

we have 5 round faced girls in this home

& bangs are not the way to go

i explained how rockin her stacked bob was

and reminded her we were only weeks away from our

dream trip to the beach

where i've been known to take thousands

yes you heard that right

thousands of photos

she said she'd be disappointed if we did the stacked bob

but that she knew that her stylist & mom knew best

with that sweet attitude going on

i had to do it

we walked in & her stlyist asked what the plan was for today

i let caroline & kylie come up with her new cut

i sat down & let them pick out what would look sweet on a little girl

but maximize her short little hair

i didn't say a word

i even had my own good attitude

the older girls were like mom....you let her pick out her hair cut?

i know

crossover moment for mom

& miss kylie

at $40 a pop

explained that we could have bangs

OR sweep 'em over to the side

she could spike her hair in the back

OR i could still turn it under for that bob look

its not a huge difference

but different enough

& different enough

because little bit was the one calling the shots


i left with one very happy little girl

when we got in the car she told me

"mama, it looks better than i even imagined"

& she gained a little independence

& i was happy for my baby girl

& proud that i really could let it go

so sad........

i don't have an eloquent post today

no deep thoughts

no words of encouragement

no funny stories

just my thoughts first thing this morning it looks like we may need to cancel our july 4th trip to seaside

i wish i had a crystal ball
i wish i knew what to do

please don't send me hate mail
(not that anyone ever has...)
but i am well aware of the bigger picture here
men lost their lives in the explosion
the impact on the ocean life & coastal wildlife is devastating
major economic loss for those whose income depends on tourism
overwhelming sadness....





the Lord gave me a heart for nursing
a heart made to take care of children, very sick children
but this heart can not take sad animal stories

i really can't
i can't look at the news
i can't see the images of the oil soaked pelicans






i would love to go to paris one day
i would love to travel to boston, seattle and new england
but truth be told
there's a little spot on the gulf coast
that i'm completely smitten with







the white sand & the crystal clear water
is my heaven on earth
if i never went any of those places
i'd be perfectly content with my yearly trips to the gulf shore





my first visit to Seaside was with Dan
on our honeymoon

we came back a couple months later with the girls
& have come back every year since






we love it here
we have our favorite restaurants
favorite shops
favorite beach things









i've been to plenty of beaches
but none as breathtaking as the beaches along the gulf

i'm not trying to be a big baby

or a self absorbed narcissist

but honestly pulling up these images

leaves me here with tears in my eyes

will the beach look like this again?

i know we can take our deposit & call it a loss

pack up & head elsewhere

i know that

but today i'm just feeling sad

& heartbroken

about the whole situation....

she's a camper

put little bit on the bus yesterday

for her first trip away to summer camp

with our church

a dozen of the cutest 8 & 9 year old little girls as her cabin mates

100 or so other kiddos

& a few nurses

she's totally excited

i on the otherhand....not so much

these images pretty much sum up her emotions






while this image
sums up mine..

well i'll be darned

so for about a year now

i've tried to respond

to each comment

that is left

on my blog

each one

i try to answer any questions

or maybe just say thanks for

taking the time

to not only read my blog

but to leave a sweet comment

i try to reply back

just to show you

how much it means to me

& this is usually pretty easy

its not like i'm the pioneer woman getting 800 comments

or anything crazy like that!

many times though

i email back a pretty lengthy reply

i may ask you a question

or 12

& often times

i never hear back

eh hum....kim s.

only to realize the other day
when i was responding from a different computer whose email format is set up differently
that a whole bunch
of the comments
actually connect back to
NONFLIPPINREPLYCOMMENTS

well
not in all caps
& i don't think it has the word flippin
in there
but you get the point

many of you

never have seen all these

millions

trillions

of kind

thoughtful

& dare i say

lengthy responses i've sent

& i just thought you were

blowing me off all this time!

who knew?

well

probably

all of you knew this

but not me

millions of emails

all floating around

out in the

NONFLIPPINREPLY blogger abyss

for crying out loud

i felt like such a dork

so i'm here now

all schooled in the situation

& just wanted to let you know

1. kim & i are all good

she had no clue

& now she has about 2 dozen photoshop, vitamin supplement & parenting

questions to get back to me on!

2. for all the times you left a sweet comment

or asked me a question

{thankyouthankyouthankyou}

& never received an email

i really did respond

pinkie promise

& since i'm getting all this blogger etiquette all squared away

i must ask

you a question

do you know how google reader affects site meters?

if i don't actually go on to someones blog

but just read it through reader

does the site meter still pick this up as a hit?

just curious

oh&ps

i'm totally not saying that comments all need replies back

or that i think that there is an unwritten rule

out there

but i'm wierd like that

& love the contact

the blog world has brought many a sweet priceless friend my way

& its just my little way of saying thank you :)

xo