doggonit

woke up without an alarm at 5am

all excited about the country living fair that has come to atlanta this weekend!

told dan...see ~

i can be a morning girl

when there's a day of shopping or a day at the beach ahead!

had a blog post all ready to roll

only to find out i needed to purchase 20gigs more space on blogger

doggonit

apparantly i've maxed out my photospace

& "it may take 24 hours until your account will be ready"

so until then
 i uploaded the one photo it would allow
whatever

back to the cl fair...
my camera battery is charged

the boots are polished

( actually they are far from polished, but it flows)

&

i'm headed out to hook up with ashley & jerri

whose photos i'm unable to upload

thankyouverymuch

i'll hopefully score some salted caramel icecream

& maybe a jennifer lanne original

see ya'll monday

ps. can't wait to tell ya'll about my first official photoshoot

of someone else's kiddos

three year olds!

very mobile

 three year olds

plural

three year olds.

i now have the utmost respect for anyone that nabs a fantastic shot

of a mobile child

that is not their own

in fantastic lighting!

have a great weekend

~

balance, prayer and luck

i really want to share my heart again concerning the 'mean girl' issue we dealt with for a couple of weeks.
so.... first let me say, i intentionally try to keep my posts short, easy reads. this one won't be a short easy read.   i also  try to balance the introspective posts & not overwhelm anyone with heavy thoughts. having said that, i will try to keep this one reeled in while still sharing a tad more.

and while i'm throwing around some disclaimers, let me also make it clear, i far from have it together when it comes to raising teenagers. just ask SMK. she'll give you an amen after she regains her composure.  nonetheless, i'll share a few of my simple thoughts.  maybe i'll have it all together by the time CEK turns the corner from the tween stage ( she just proudly informed me yesterday that she is indeed a tween. please.) into the highschool stage. give me strength.

it all comes down to balance
 knowing when to say when
 prayer
loads and loads of prayer
and maybe a little luck

when my girls were little, preschool age,  little susie bit little savannah one morning in the toddler room ( i'm going with some anonymity to protect the not so innocent ).  i received a little pink note explaining little susie's mama had been informed of her little angel's behavior. poor little savannah. wrong place wrong time. no need for me to go marching into the director's office demanding screening on future preschool applicants.  sweet ms candace had the situation under control.
when little savannah was in first grade & she and her bestie were fussing at each other, i could call said bestie's mom and we could discuss their sweet little relationship in a civilized manner. help them work through issues etc, say nighty night and alls well that ends well. right?


fast forward to highschool and by fast forward i mean blink your eyes & low and behold you have a teenager or three that daily borrow your favorite shoes and expensive jcrew jewelry. no lie.  this stage has been a doozie for me.  so much more at stake, for them and for my relationship with them, when a crisis rolls around. 

while i would love to get little pink notes from their teachers about daily issues, it aint gonna happen. while i'd love to chat with the mom's of bffs and come to the rescue for a relationship crisis, it aint gonna happen. and nor should it. well, not every time anyway. hear me out~

i pray every day for protection over my girls, wisdom  and discernment as i relate to them. 
when to step in. when to allow them some independence.
when to offer advice. when to realize that they just want to vent.
when to trust them. when to have their back.  when to allow them to take care of things themselves.
when to spare them further embarrassment.
 it's a hard call
 every
single
time.

and the kicker.... to not appear shocked when they share shockers. and believe me , i hear some shockers. i need to be a safe stable place for them to share. if i'm constantly getting fired up and frustrated, they'll quit sharing. i can almost promise you that one.  communication is crucial at this stage.  their day is often times filled with craziness and turbulence. their emotions are all over the place as are the emotions of those around them.  if i act all shocked or wide eyed when they tell me things, that only solidifies to them that their day was crazy and turbulent. they need stability. they need me to be solid and unchanging.
i also feel like when my girls were younger , they were resilient when issues arose and thankfully forgot many of my mistakes.  now that they're wearing makeup & using $150 flatirons. not so much. the painful things they go through are remembered and sadly stick in their hearts for longer periods. and much to my dismay, they remember my mistakes. darn it.

i'm not teaching my girls to be wimps. i'm also not encouraging them to react , which is usually in anger, to every situation that rolls their way.
i'm not trying to make a joke out of bullying. it is a frightening situation that is alive and well.

however there is also a whole lotta drama going on with girls, especially at this age. me stepping in, calling moms, confronting another teenager, or whatever more often times than not, is only going to make the situation worse.
i am very aware that there are times that as a parent i have a responsibility to step in and have my child's back. but having said that, i would only do that if i wholeheartedly believed the situation was reaching that arbitrary point of necessity. and don't hate me but step in if it was ok with them.
 just this summer i had to choose to give one of my girls what she pleaded with me to give her. another adult had called her a very ugly name. to her face. i would have never done this to one of my girls friends. i was blown away the situation occurred. i did get shocked and i freaked out. she begged & pleaded with me not to call the mom. i've raised a daughter who i trust. who i give the benefit of the doubt and i wanted her to see that i would not trump her. i chose to walk away on that one. i asked the lord to help me forgive that mom who probably isn't aware that i even know the story. tough. hard. choice. but what i hoped my daughter learned in that situation was that i believed in her more than i believed in me and what i wanted to do. period.

back to balance.

i won't always make the right decision or do the right thing. however i have to believe that i am doing the best thing at the time. i seek advice from those in whom i have the utmost respect. and i pray it all works out. sometimes it doesn't. i know that.

i want to respect the red flags that arise in the lives of mychildren's.
i am not a passive parent who is disconnected with this generation and what they are exposed to.
i just pray that while i feel most days on the parenting front are a delicate balance of prayer, humility and a little luck, i pray that i raise up four girls who put their faith in Him who is greater and stronger .  He who sees every little detail in their turbulent day.
 in Him,
who always his their back.
every
single
time

some of october around here

the original title of my entry was going to be 'october around here'

however i am experiencing major issues with my internet/server/blogger

or something

& can't get all my images uploaded

so the title will now be

"some of october around here"

after losing the last hour & a half

to this issue

i now feel this will be a completely scattered entry

i apologize in advance

ugh

the other day savannah texted me stating that a ginormous box had arrived

i told her it must be the frame i ordered for her senior photo

mom, if the frame is as large as the box it shipped in, you will never miss me while i'm away at college!

well, the frame was not as large as the box

but it is grand & i can't wait to figure out where to place it

place it, because i'm all into placing verses hanging on the wall these days

but , isn't it great?

each morning i sit here & check emails

cruise around facebook

& read your blogs

however today i am unable to comment on any of them

thank you blogger/internet/dell laptop

whatever

i  need to be careful how far i open my window

as we have a birdbath right out side

& it's not unusual for a sweet little wren to perch on the windowsill

wrens are cute outside

but it creeps me out to have a birdie flying around inside my house

i can finally carry the smokin bag my girlfriend gave me for my birthday back in the spring

& i will try to not be bothered that a male friend of mine

whose name shall not be mentioned

totally slammed it

& called it a word i probably shouldn't use on the family friendly blog

i figure guys just don't get it

whether it be funky purses

photography over- achievement

or taking images of fridge inventory

 i'm betting i'll get a facebook comment

about my latest thing~

branch decor

yep, i just added an urn of maple tree branches

which i spray painted goldish silverish

in the kitchen

there might just be one in the living room

& maybe in the bedroom

too

found these little cuties in the dollar section at micheals

i think i've seen them several places for around 4 bucks a pop

score

most of the paintings i did while taking lessons

are all propped up in my closet

but

this week i pulled out this little fella

i love the paintings by N.A. Noel

her use of color is like none other

so i "practice" with many of hers

this little guy is one i did a couple years ago

thankfully brinkley has recovered from his unfortunate

sprain a few weeks ago

he ran his first 5k since being injured the other day

& honestly 

i think he was quite proud of himself

the first string all lined up & ready to play

my new TOMS

are getting some action too

this is the part where i was repeatedly booted out of blogger

while trying to upload cheer photos

so i'll go place my call to dell now

wish me luck

hopefully i'll be back in the saddle with a less random post very soon

~

it's pathetic really

it's pathetic really

but i can't meal plan effectively to save my life

the menu section of my mom agenda

is usually blank

i'm such a disgrace

when it comes to a list

i clearly have a rebellious attitude

i'm all "i'll be a slave to no list" about it

which is obviously a sign that i have problem

because i like to think i'm an organized person

apparantly an organized person who has no organization what so ever in the kitchen

i realize this will be a disappointment to many of you

but let me roll it out for you

the truth is

i stepped inside 3 different grocery stores 5

count 'em

FIVE

times in 36 hours

oh yes i did

did i have a list?

do i really need to answer this?

however on the final of 5 trips

i came face to face with the obvious

i must become

as much as it pains me

a list maker

ugh

for example

even though i have a large family

i obviously do not need this much cheese

what was i thinking?

i bought multiple of the strangest things

& then

apparantly did an even stranger thing...

came home & documented this for you

i hope you still love me

 

creamer anyone?

i could be in the next episode of fridge hoarders

right?

while i'm disclosing issues

let's discuss my love hate relationship with walmart

it pains me to admit this

but yes

i shop walmart

( and this week i also shopped two different krogers and publix. twice)

i am a reformed hater of wally world

however when the two closest to our home recieved a fabulous face lift

i came back

& yes

i even buy meat there

gasp

but with low prices & cute packaging

how can i resist

my ocd needs are met

when my sour cream & cream cheese are all matchy

cute preppy packaging

surely you agree

see how cute everyone is all lined up in matching outfits

well

since i'll probably drop a few dozen subscribers

after this ridiculous affirmation of my issues

i figured i'd seal the rebel image

& share this little song

in light of my last post

i couldn't resist

(wink)

lessons learned at the old rock gym & psalm 37

when i was a little girl
my dad always helped coach whatever sport my brother & i were playing

i remember one game where someone heckled my dad
of course i don't remember who it was or even what was said
i just remember i could have spit nails
how dare someone say something rude & critical towards my dad
who incidentally walked on water
i think i stood up & yelled something profane
come to think of it,  i'm quite certain i stood up and told the bad guy to shut up
maturity at its finest

i probably got in trouble
i don't remember that part

as the lord would have it
i would grow up to be a coach's wife
& my affinity for rooting for the under-dog
aka-quiet men who don't over react or heckle the hecklers
would be challenged even more so than that day back in the 70's
at the old rock gym in stone mountain georgia

years ago my hubby
another water walker
was treated poorly & wrongly by the company he worked for at the time
he stood strong, turned the other cheek
quietly finished his job
& walked away
(actually
the way i see it..he walked away from the bad guys  & off into the sunset of our current much happier ending
but i'll try to spare you the dramatic embellishment)

he walked away
without arguing
without playing ugly
the same way my dad did 30 years ago at the old rock gym in stone mountain georgia

both are men of godly character
good, honest,dignified
 both with a servant humble spirit
both treated wrongly
neither of which are known for a bad argumentative attitude

now that i'm a well-behaved mom of four
all of which are watching my parenting behavior
i surely won't be standing up yelling profanities at the bad guys
for crying out loud

so when my hubby was treated wrongly
i chose to do as i had seen modeled by two men i greatly respect
i chose to walk away
channel my frustration & disappointment somewhere else
& move on



so
this week i'm experiencing something for the first time
& i'm conflicted on what to do
do i walk off into the happy sunset of peace & quiet
or do i stand bravely in my new toms & as john mayer would croon
say what i need to say

one of my girls is bearing the brunt of some mean girl behavior
really mean girl behavior


the funny thing is
i told one of my other daughters about this current injustice
& low and behold
she responded like someone i know once did back at the old rock gym in stone mountain georgia
i was all like let's fist bump baby girl & go whoop some mean girl bootie...
maturity at its finest once again

what i honestly did
after spitting the proverbial nails of course
was explain to my wrongly treated daughter how her daddy responded years ago
when he was treated ugly
how he chose the high road
( which was easier than sharing the low road occupied by my feisty grumbling self)
& moved on

i tried to encourage her to do what i'm not sure i would have done at her age
turn the other cheek
hold her head up
don't play ugly
& just move on

i'm so proud of her
she's doing just that
&
she came downstairs yesterday and said "mama, i really want to try to read my bible everyday. so i just so happened to open up & find the perfect scripture.    and it's all gonna be okay"
dang
you go girl!


meanwhile
i'm going to go read that same scripture
 write it on my chalkboard ( and my heart)
& this girl might just be spending time back at the old rock gym in stone mountain georgia
channeling my frustration in a more productive place
kickboxing anyone?

(& because our beach images make me happy, i'm rolling out a few i don't think i shared earlier this summer)

peace

ps

here is the scripture she found

paraphrased a bit from the new living translation

psalm 37

Don’t worry about the wicked
      or envy those who do wrong

Trust in the Lord and do good.
      Then you will live safely in the land and prosper.
  Take delight in the Lord,
      and he will give you your heart’s desires

      Commit everything you do to the Lord.
      Trust him, and he will help you.
  He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn,
      and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun