it's constant, this giving away

it's hard to believe she's big enough to go to kindergarten

her backpack is half as big as she is

she's all dressed up wearing her red mary janes

& little cotton dress that seems a tad too big

her pink lunchbox has a little note to remind her you love her

you wonder how on earth you'll get through the next 8 hours, everyday for the next 10 months

you walk by her bedroom & make her bed, her pillow still smells just like her

you wonder if her teacher knows how fantastic she is

if she'll hug her and tell her she's amazing

will she tell her she's capable of changing her little world

will the other 20 children in her classroom play nicely

but it's just what you do

you put her on that big yellow bus

& give her away

for the day anyway

you trust her in the care of another.

it's a happy day. really it is.

yet there's a part of your mama's heart that's breaking away.

but they say you'll be fine.

it's just what you do. 

then what seems something like two weeks later...

it's hard to believe she's really going away to college

you've seen her all dressed up in a cocktail gown

it certainly isn't a tad too big

& think to yourself, she's surely the most beautiful girl at the dance

in your heart of hearts you sometimes feel you're still her age

& wonder why she had to grow up so fast.

instead of that green & yellow box of 24 crayons

you've bought her a mac book to take with her

& instead of writing sweet notes for her lunch box you're writing on her facebook wall

you wonder if her professor knows she's amazing

surely he or she won't hug her & tell her she's wonderful

she's going to change her world

instead of choosing between chicken nuggets or fish sticks

she'll be choosing the next president of the united states

you walk by her room. it's pretty empty now. you wonder, does her pillow still smell like her?

as you drive away from the dorm

you wonder out of 30,000 people on her campus, who will be her lifelong friends

you wonder how you'll get through, not just 8 hours, but this next phase of her life.

of your life.

you're giving her away all over again.

it's a happy thing. really it is.

but yet there's a part of your mama's heart that's breaking away.

 they say you'll be fine

it's just what you do

in what will surely seem like a blink away,

there will a day

your soul mate will have her hand wresting on his arm

he'll walk her down that aisle that seems too short.

their walk down the aisle is not long enough for you to think back through all the years.

you remember that first day in kindergarten.

you remember books & braces and her proms.

she'll be wearing a gown that takes your breath away

you're certain she's the most beautiful bride. ever.

you'll be up on the front row looking back at everyone smiling

you wonder if they all realize she's amazing

he'll kiss her & surely will be crying

he'll place her hand in his

he surely knows she's amazing

& he surely will know she's the most beautiful young woman

 she'll surely change his world

it's a wonderful happy day

they say you'll be just fine.

for this mama, today, it's just a dream

yet you know in your heart it'll be here in the blink of an eye

 

it's constant

this giving away