a few years after caroline was born,
i ran into a friend that had moved away 20+ years ago.
we were reconnecting via facebook
&
she said, "you did it! you had your little women".
apparently i had told her when i was 19 that i always wanted four daughters
& she actually remembered that statement.
i smile today just thinking that twenty seven years ago
i dreamed of a house full of girls.
~~~
~~~
i'll be honest.
i've thought many many times over the last several weeks
about taking a blogging sabbath.
while i may blog about an occasional recipe
or a great new jewelry designer
those are all just things that fall under the umbrella
of lifestyle blogging.
my lifestyle.
i wear it on my sleeve
& process many things by talking through them.
i'm in a sorta of rough patch relating with and to a couple of my girls right now.
i don't want to throw anyone under the bus
nor do i want to be a overdramatic chatter box
but i'm not sure that i want to process on a blog
that a couple thousand people visit a day
where i am & what i'm processing right now.
we all know, even if you haven't birthed a baby yet,
that parenting is not for the faint of heart.
parenting teenagers isn't easy
& parenting multiple teenage girls certainly isn't easy.
i've thought about stepping away for a while
yet
this blog is a huge vehicle for me professionally.
while i have decided to continue blogging for now
you may see an intentional decrease in how i share some of my personal life
(or you may not notice it at all.)
nothings majorly wrong.
no one's dying or has run away.
&
if i weren't so afraid that turning off the comments would delete all the past comments
i'd do that today too.
i just wanted to explain where i'm coming from.
it takes a lot of emotional energy to be vulnerable
& right now i just don't seem to have it.
when things aren't right even my creativity is zapped.
personally i don't want my blog to just be businesslike
or all about "other" things
but it may be for a little while.
thanks for understanding & sticking with me anyway.
Lots of love to Paige....and thank you for your honesty.
ReplyDeleteTake care my friend....and remember that it's your blog, so do with it whatever you wish XX
I appreciate your willingness to put yourself out there. I couldn't do it because I have too many wounds already and people can be so harsh. Down right MEAN!!! I need to know that I am not the only on the journey of life who has parenting struggles. Life is NOT perfect and we should not expect that we are either. I am thankful that Jesus gives grace and mercy for those who will accept it.
ReplyDeletePaige,thanks for your precious blog. It has been such a joy to read.
Sending big hugs and all good wishes your way, Paige! I am reconsidering restarting blogging myself. Not sure I have anything to say that hasn't/isn't being said. And I really need less screen time and not more. I need to clairify with myself why, exactly, I want to blog and so far I don't have any good (enough) answers. Your blog is fun, encouraging, uplifting and pretty! I know so many love visiting - I sure do!
ReplyDeletePaige , please know I am thing of you and your family. You have no idea how much your writing has touched my heart. Over the past year while living in Afirca I often read your notes and it always put a smile on my face. Made me feel like I was ot in the middle of West Africa.
ReplyDeleteThanks a million,
Xxxx
Joanne
((((((HUGS))))) my friend.
ReplyDeletehang in there, little marmee. keep the love light burning in the window. they'll find their way back home.
ReplyDeletexo
the mother of boys
Oh I so get it!!! Life is just hard sometimes and takes a more to get through the emotions of it all. Hang in there!!!! I am so on the teenager break right now with my bigs 21-24. I think I have a year or so left until my 10 year old starts.....NOOOOOOOOO!!!:)
ReplyDeleteBigs hugs and lots of love :)
ReplyDeleteI love your blog and I will wait...
ReplyDeleteI have two boys and I know what you mean.
Good Luck and came back soon, It is a pleasure to hear you talking about your beautiful daughters and everything else.
XOXO,
Elaine
Paige. I understand perfectly well. I am in your shoes and sometimes only praying gets me through. My girls are my Angels but sometimes things get rough. I love your blogs and flow you on twitter. Love and Blessings send your way.
ReplyDeletePraying Paige. It's such a challenge to get through this stage with grace and being in the spotlight while doing it, makes the challange even greater.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
SAL
Much love!!!! xoxo
ReplyDeleteAlways staying with you! Hang on -- raising kids is a rollercoaster ride! Sending good vibes (does anyone say that anymore?) and prayers your way! :)
ReplyDeletejanet
Oh. my. goodness. I SO understand. Parenting multiple teenagers is incredibly challenging. And blogging while living the trials is much trickier than blogging while living life with lots of little ones. I'm in the very same place. Much love to you. And prayers, too
ReplyDeletego where the lord takes you paige. he has certainly used you through this blog and he has eternal intentions for you.
ReplyDeletei love your words and photos and will be a loyal visitor as long as i have the opportunity, which i hope is still for some time to come! you have touched my life in such a positive way and i thank you for it!
Parenting is hard but you have instilled a wonderful foundation for your girls. Find peace in that.
ReplyDeleteYou are writing an open journal that's not too many could do..it takes a lot to express ones feeling for the whole world to read let along yourself. I have two children one boy who is 28 and live in Japan and my daughter who will be 19 in 19 days!...its hard teenage years and its hard when they leave..I'm going through that now..I read you daily...I'm a single mom and have been for years...its hard no matter who you are...but don't beat yourself up.. I had a rough week with my daughter...we sat down and had a long talk and it put us back on the right path with each other...it builds you closer when you have to stop and talk. So you go and turn that music up!
ReplyDeleteAmen to parenting being a tough calling....but God has called you and you do it well!!! Your 4 BEAUTIFUL girls are proof. You are never alone in anything....never walking alone...So thankful for that.. HE is always with us.
ReplyDeleteYou ROCK!!! Hang in there!!!
Paige,
ReplyDeleteAs the mother of three grown daughters, I certainly remember feeling discouraged and sometimes I even felt like a failure. But amazingly enough, so did all of my friends with teenage daughters. Even the ones that I considered the most perfect moms in the world.
I met your girls at the Pearl Event and they are lovely girls. I saw they way they were watching you give your "story". There was such pride in their faces. Your one awesome mom and this too shall pass. I think God has a plan for this to happen with our teenagers so that a Mother's heart can let them go when they're grown. That's what I told myself anyway.
What ever zyou choose to blog about whether it be recipes, jewelry or your beautiful photos,
I love your blog. Especially your floral photography.
Speaking of which, loving the white flowers in the pitcher photo.
Take all the time you need my blog friend. Your readers will always be there.
there.
Take care and take all the time you need. Your readers
YOU have done what so many of us ladies want to do! To blog about the good, the bad and the ugly~yet only a few are blessed like you who can do it with an open heart! You are a class act my friend. Since I started blogging I have struggled with why I can't open up so others can see the real me like you have done. Praying for you and your little women! XOXOXO
ReplyDeletehugs & love, your honesty is always so refreshing. it's real and it's life. momma's understand that... lots of love
ReplyDeleteBless you sweetie. Love you, love your vulnerability and love your blog. Whatever you choose to write about (or not write about) is completely fine with me. I am 100% behind you and beside you. I've got four kids too....one daughter in grad school and one daughter a junior in college, a son in high school and one in middle school. Parenting is not for the faint of heart. There is no preparation for the intense joy and sorrow you will feel. Thank you for your vulnerability Paige.
ReplyDeleteLinda
I adore your blog for so mamy reasons, and am also a mother of only girls:-) Love hearing the stories of your family, and can completely relate to your angst about the teenage years. Any mother can identify with your concern for discretion, and selfishly, I pray you will find a way to balance privacy with still writing here.
ReplyDeleteLittle Women --
ReplyDeleteone of my most
favorites....
Just like you.
Attend to what
your heart tells
you to and you
won't have any
regrets.
Sending love and
prayers,
xo Suzanne
Paige - Please don't leave us!! I am a mother of 2 teenage boys, I also lost my spouse to cancer 4 yrs ago. Our boys were 4th & 5th grade. You are such an inspiration to us out here. I understand about the teenage yrs, I would never EVER want to go there again!! Please tell your beautiful daughters we understand, sharing is hard, but you all have inspired us, me, who has lost someone dear to my heart and my sons, that thru God we can get thru anything, we know that he is looking after us and blessing us all!! Maybe cutting back & spending time with the girls would help, but don't leave us, I am forever grateful that God lead me to your blog. You are an awesome Lady!! Thank you!! All my Love to you all. Please tell the family thanks for understanding and letting us have you for just alittle bit of each and every day!! xoxoxo
ReplyDeleteI love reading about your blog. about you, your girls, appreciating your honesty and creativity and your beautiful photos. And I love it when you do talk about the real stuff of life and I don"t feel alone when you share your emotions. We can be happy, sad and go through rough patches throughout our life and sometimes when we share ( face to face or through blogging) it gives us strength and hope to continue and strive for better things in life for ourselves and our family. I respect and appreciate your honesty and your strength. Your blog inspires me. All the best to and your family. Stacy xo
ReplyDeleteJust a note to say THANK YOU for your amazing blog... I enjoy it soo much. Know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteMarcy
You know how much everyone enjoys your blog. I love reading whatever you have to write. Sometimes I think it's easier to write the more personal stuff and some days it's harder. I know that I have days where I think 'I cannot explain this again to one more person', so I don't. I don't put alot about my family on my blog that's really personal but that's just my choice - plus I think a lot of it would come off as complaining! My daughter is 10 1/2 and I think we're heading into those more challenging years already.
ReplyDeleteYou're in my thoughts and I know you'll do what's best for you & your family and that's always the right thing! :)
I totally understand! Even if you chit chat about flowers, a bug, a beautiful sunset or a favorite receipt, I´m sure all your followers will continue to stay with you!
ReplyDeleteI read a lot of blogs from all over the world, and I must say that Norwegian bloggers are a lot more careful about blogging about personal life and adding pictures of children. So I understand wherer you`re coming from! Even though I add pictures of my children, I am very careful not to write too much about them. We can never be too careful these days.....
Bless your heart for continuing blogging even if you perhaps feel otherwise. I always read your blog posts and enjoy every single word...
Hope you have a wonderful day! In Norway the day has just started and we are finally blessed with some sun today!
Lots of long distance-love from Norway!
Tove
I understand teenage girl struggles for sure Paige. We are in a much better place now. Thank God. Even if you don't delve into the issues on your blog, it's helpful that you even mention the struggles. There were times when I was struggling so hard with Maddie and I felt like everywhere in blogland all I read about were peoples perfect teenage children and it certainly made me feel like I was alone and also made me feel even more like I was failing. My daughter wasn't a straight A, cheerleader, prom queen and she gave me a run for my money for the better part of high school, but she turned out pretty amazing anyway! I don't know why we are so hard on ourselves as moms! I'm wishing you peace and I will be back here to read whatever you write about. And if you don't write that's okay too. You take care of you and yours! Hugs to you Paige.
ReplyDeleteDear Paige,
ReplyDeleteI have started this comment four times, and realize that there are no "right" words. Follow your heart. Raising a family is not for the faint of heart. I would tell you that their foundation has been set. That always helps me through the ebb and flow of the relationships that can truly bring us to our knees.
Thinking of you all as you go through these normal growing pains.
~Cheryl
You have to do what's best for you and your family...as a mama of girls, I TOTALLY understand!! I check in with you everyday, and would miss you terribly, but know it must be tough to put yourself and your family out there every day. I admire so many things about you, and your transparency and honesty is one of them. Much love.
ReplyDeleteAny mom of kids over 11 is sitting here reading your words going "um-hmmm...i know....there, there. it will be okay". blogging about parenting is hard because our readers can't know our hearts--and the last thing a mother needs is any kind of condemnation from readers :)
ReplyDeletesooo, on to fun and shallow -- please share the source for the sideways cross bracelet. ahhh, that distraction feels better, doesn't it?!
keep calm...and carry on. you are not alone. xoxo
Paige, I understand that your family comes first, I have 2 adult girls and they are amazing and have wonderful spouses. Your blog is one of the first I check everyday, reading about your home decor, the jewelry, your family,your wise words it is all very comforting to me. Whatever you decide to do, just know, you are well respected in blogland. Mickey
ReplyDeletePaige, I look forward to your blog every morning. It really is one of my favorites. You and your family are special. Sorry your having a rough patch but you are a great mother, wife & blogger and I know you will do what is best for your family.
ReplyDeleteI really respect your need for privacy. Please know I will continue to visit as I always do. Sending you hugs as you weather this time in your life. I understand completely how trying this can be. I raised two beautiful girls alone and now a stepdaughter. It is not for the faint of hear.
ReplyDeleteHugs to you...
Beautiful Said! Big Hug, Parenting is the Toughest Job out there. My Motto, "One day at a Time," Sometimes "One hour at a Time."
ReplyDeletexo
Jamie
I love you Paige.
ReplyDeleteNo need to say more.
xxooxxoo
Hello Paige,
ReplyDeleteFrom the Netherlands, I read your blog every now and then, and I enjoy your writings very much. Sometimes big, sometimes smaller, just like the real life.
I would understand it if you'ld stop blogging, because I did so myself, but I'm glad that you didn't.
Thank you for all your honesty.
Roelie
I totally understand. Been there, done that. I'll try to remember to pray for you guys.
ReplyDeleteI've done the comment turn-0ff too before (just on an individual post before hitting publish) and it was actually nice so if you ever need that, it's there.
Love you friend... hang in there. You're such a great Mama.
Pagie,
ReplyDeleteI absolutely love how you share with us, the real person that you are. We as mothers all go through hard times but just wanted to encourage you today. Reading your blog is a highlight to me each and everyday. You have touched so many of our lives without even being aware and for that I thank you! Hoping for brighter days ahead for you my friend...xoxo
My 4-month sabbatical was so good, so I support you 100%...whether it's a total break you need or just scaling back a bit. And I don't blame you a bit for wanting to keep some things private, especially when it comes to your girls. I am very aware as I write that whatever I put out there is there to stay. While I try to write from the heart, there are many things I don't say. Love you, girl!
ReplyDeleteAlso wanted to share the words I feel like God gave me when I closed half my business, took the blog break and reprioritized: "Just because you can doesn't mean you should."
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I find it refreshing that your relationship with your children isn't "perfect." Hope you get through this rough patch and learn what God wants you to gain from it. :)
ReplyDeleteI cheat! I read your blog religiously! However, I just don't seem to comment. I had a blog that I loved for a few years, but it was taking over things for me at that time. I really needed a break. It's been a couple of years and I can't seem to get back to it. I absolutely adore reading about you, your beliefs, your girls and your day to day life. It lifts me. If you need to take a break I think we can all understand- but you will be missed. You resonate with so many of us dear one.. Do what you need to do for you..... We'll be here whenever you are ready to return. xxx
ReplyDeleteyour honesty is beautiful.
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to leave you a note about how much I enjoy your blog. I have 3 girls, two are teens and I appreciate reading about someone who is walking the same path. This is hard, but it is only a phase, right? Hang in there and just keep doing what you are doing.
ReplyDeleteI think it is really important to share this. I think sometimes people peek into blog's lie yours and think that everything is perfect ad beautiful and life is never always beautiful or perfect. It is not intended to be. The Lord wants us to be pulled and challenged and stretched. It is through the trying times that we all grow. So god would want you to admit this to help others , Paige.
ReplyDeleteI love you and I love your girls. You are so blessed. And I am always here if you need a friendly ear. teens are tough.
Kim
hi sweet paige - i would read no matter what - its your blog and I appreciate you and respect how and what you blog - no matter what!
ReplyDeletefollow your heart - I know you already are but just thought I would add that
big hug from all the way over here!
xoTiffany
Paige,
ReplyDeleteI've read your blog for years now and enjoy your honestly as a wife, mother, and woman of God--this is however, my first time commenting.
As a mother to one and hopefully more, I love how you speak of your daughters. The oldest of three girls, I know it can be tough living in a home with that much estrogen. You share what you want to share because it's your platform on which to do so.
I'll always check my reader for your new posts. Thank you for sharing.
Love you...and your honesty! Praying that the Lord continues to give you wisdom and discernment...and an extra bit of patience as you wade through the harder days of being a mom. Being one of three girls, I think often how hard it must have been at times for my parents. Lifting up the whole Knudsen family by name.
ReplyDeleteHey girlie....I live in Charlotte, NC and I am a follower of your blog. I love it so much and relate in so many ways to your posts. Thank you for being so vulnerable
ReplyDeleteand willing to share your joys and struggles....they bless me tremendously!! I'm the mom to 3 boys...now 19, 21 and 22. Although we have probably lived very different lives re. household activities, dinner conversations, purchases made for our crews, etc......we share the desire to love and parent our children with grace, to raise godly children that will find their own Christ-filled mate, and mother's hearts that long to meet the needs of each child. I know that when even one of mine is a little "off" it also has a huge impact on me as well. So, I will remember to be praying for you as we journey this path that the Lord has so graciously led us down....and let's continue to be ever so grateful for the wonderful husbands we have and the gift of knowing that the Lord is truly in control of it ALL!!!!
love ya....annie
I look forward to your posts. Your words and stories are genuine and honest. I am touched by your stories and the llovely way you deliver them. Know that your thought provoking words have inspired many. Best wishes to you and your family.
ReplyDelete