choose joy

 i think i've always been a relatively cheerful person.

gosh, as soon as i typed that, i thought....

is that what my girls would say?  that mama's a cheerful person?

shoulders slump a little...

so

how 'bout we go with upbeat.

or positive. 

that sounds a little more....um....reasonable.

i'm not a bubbly giggly person though.

a realist

a positive, usually in a good mood, loves life most days, realist.
that's what i am.

i can tend to swing in to over-emphasis mode when things are good.

like...i LOVE {fill in the blank}

and ....oh my gosh, that {whatever that may be} is the best.

but i'll be real honest with  you.

choosing to be joyful

during the midst of a crisis

when i'm awaiting medical test results

when my checkbook is getting close to empty

when a relationship is going through a rough patch

when i've hurt one of my girls spirits

when i need to learn to better manage my time.

whatever the "negative" or the learning time is

that's when i struggle with the choice of a joyful spirit.

the good days, well those are easy.

i'm great fun on those.

wow. amazing character quality huh?

i recently read Choose Joy: Because Happiness Isn't Enough
by kay warren.
kay is a two time cancer survivor

passionate HIV/AIDS advocate

wife of "Purpose Driven Life" author, Rick Warren

& close friend of one of my favorite people,

susan hillis.

i'd love to share a few things i loved most about kay's perspective of joy.

let me start out with kay's definition:

"joy is the settled assurance that God is in control of all the details of my life,

the quiet confidence that ultimately everything is going to be all right,

& the determined choice to praise God in all things."

a

"settled conviction about God

quiet confidence in God

& a choice to give praise to God"

joy is a choice.

the level of joy you & i experience is completely up to us.

not dependent on anyone else & what they do or don't do.

dude.

she could have ended the book right there. page 21. 

end of story. for me anyway.

she goes on to say that we often times look for our spouse, our children

& even our friends to fulfill us.

when they don't, we get angry.

we pick up our weapon of choice ( detachment, sarcasm,tears, emotional manipulation)
and use against them, whatever our weapon of choice is.

"as we hold our weapon of choice, we justify our attitude.

we decide if they'd change, we'd be happy.

why?

because we're expecting the people in our lives to meet needs
 they

cannot
meet.

that they were never supposed to meet".

let that one soak in a while.

i read it over and over again.

i went out for my run after i read that & thought

how many times, especially with my own daughters 

have i made them feel that way? ugh...

i prayed that i would just stop it.

stop acting as if they're obedience, their joyfulness, their communication

their sensitiveness towards me, their whatever

is what determines how i act. my level of joy in our home.

which, my friends

( im assuming most all of ya'll are women)

we, the mamas, truly set the thermostat for the mood of our home.

i had a couple pages of personal notes,

 a dozen tabbed with red post-it pages 

sprinkled throughout my

yellow highlighted to death book

to share with you

but i don't want to steal any of kay's thunder.
( page 128 she talks about treasures stored in the dark places. awesome.
& page 234 joy is rooted in gratitude
are two of my faves)

"choose joy" is a great read

with real & practical and powerful ( not syrupy "just be a happy girl" ) words

to remind us how to choose joy

with whom to choose joy

& how to love well with a joyful soul.

i needed help with all the above!

i also asked my good friend, susan
 (mom of the trevor, savannah's beau. a US government official 
and leading infectious disease expert-among many of her titles)
 to send me her endorsement, which reads:
"If I were to recommend one top pick for men and women of all ages for 2012, it would be Choosing Joy. Kay writes authentically, from experiences we all share and relate to, about the hard struggles of life, and goes on to convey the real joy that is available to each of us daily through the Lord's presence and promises and provisions! This book actually changed my dear husband's perspective on life to the degree that when I try to pull him into my own turmoil, he looks at me with that twinkle in his eye, smiles, and says, "I am gonna choose joy." Not that's something for a pessimist to say! I wholeheartedly recommend it!"
Dr. Susan Hillis
& co-author at Hope at Home

~~~~

Available now at your favorite bookseller from Revell, 

a division of Baker Publishing Group.

Kay Warren, author, speaker and international HIV/AIDS advocate. Kay and her husband, Rick, began Saddleback Church, now one of the largest churches in America, in the living room of their condominium in 1980. Since then, she has founded the HIV/AIDS Initiative at Saddleback Church in 2004 and spoken around the world as an advocate for the weak and vulnerable. She chronicles this in her first book “Dangerous Surrender,” originally released in 2007 and revised, expanded and published as “Say Yes to God” in 2010. A two-time cancer survivor, Kay knows firsthand how a life-threatening diagnosis alters one’s daily life. Her own bouts with suffering have motivated her to serve those who are sick. She is passionate about using her personal experiences to encourage others, which is why she wrote “Choose Joy: Because Happiness Isn’t Enough,” released this spring