mothering

Its been a tough couple of days for this mom's heart.

Both my older girls are going through a tough time , each with big decision they need to make.

Nothing life or death

each is different

yet similar in many ways.

Both of them are strong, talented & confident girls. Its hard to see them each in a place where they are doubting themselves, doubting their skills, and their self confidence pretty near empty.

Dan & I spent some private time with each of them individually this weekend. We let them just vent, ramble, cry, and be tender.

I don't want to tell them what to do, actually neither of them asked me what they should do and i'm proud of that. While i want to guide them, its also my job as a mom to help prepare them for the day when they truly are independent. I want them to have convictions and opinions that are their own . I don't want either of them just to do or not do anything just to please us as parents. I am so proud of both of them.

To sit and listen to each of them verbalize frustration with themselves, that they aren't on the top their "A" game, nearly broke my heart in two.

I picked up a book this weekend, The Middle Place, that i'm just totally pumped about reading. Kelly Corrigan is amazing. To listen to her talk about mother~daughter relationships , father~daughter relationships, motherhood, friendships, her battle with breast cancer....she's just an incredibly gifted communicator. If you haven't watched her youtube video, i highly encourage you to stop for a few minutes, grab some tissues, & be touched.

I saw several book club interviews where she talks about many issues, mainly motherhood, & i just bawled right through them all.

I'm also reading a book by Adriana Trigiani, Milk Glass Moon. The main character is also raising a teenage daughter & has some wonderful mothering quotes...

let me share these~~

" I thought motherhood was a job with security, but its not.

It's the least permanent job in the world,

the only job in which your skills become obsolete overnight.

It was that way from the beginning.

When I finally got a handle on breastfeeding, it was time for solid food....

When she went to school, I thought she'd need me more, but all of a sudden she had a life apart from me & was just fine.......

This is , of course, the point of it all--

preparing your children to leave you..."

" as i hold her, i

wish for a second that i had another lifetime

just to be her friend instead of her mother"

"this is the best moment to be a parent,

when you see that your child is going to surpass you,

that her curiosity will take her places and teach her things

you never even thought about."

" she reads my heart like a passage from a play,

with emotional understanding of the moment

but with one eye always on the bigger picture"

Last night as I carefully studied each of their tender tear stained teenage faces, I couldn't help but see these little faces looking back at me....wasn't that just yesterday?