Monday, August 25, 2008
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Here is a little bit of what's been going on these last few weeks~~
first of all, i'm so proud of my sweet guy....he begins his promotion to Assistant Principal at Berkmar High...home of 3,200 kids! he worked so hard all year on his post-graduate & i am so excited for him!!
~ on our way to the Chicago / Doobie Brothers concert (which was actually in July ) Yes, Caroline's birthday is in March, but she really wanted a pool party....so 5 months later, here we have it!
one of her absolutely adorable friends!
Did I mention that surely I have earned some 'cool mom' points lately?
For starters...& this is big....Caroline picked out all her birthday goodies by herself...funky flower invitations, butterfly balloons, hula girl plates & napkins, & store bought sponge bob cupcakes....oh gosh.....years ago, we would have had matching everything & certainly NO sponge bob ( of all creatures ) store bought cupcakes.....they say the youngest child has all the fun! I guess having a mom loosen up on details that no one would have even appreciated is a start :)
This precious child turns 12 tomorrow. She had her party a few weeks ago..... several of her girlfriends over for dinner, bowling, trip out for icecream & a sleep over...whew! She is getting this, these filled with goodies & one of these in raspberry fizz! She is the sweetest thing & now she has started middle school with 1800 other children. Oh I pray they don't eat her alive!
(one very happy girl mere feet away from David--that's him in color)
She was certain he was singing specifically to her :)
We've also been gettting geared up for football season!
This year she will cheer varsity & varsity competition so we have loads of fun to look forward to.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
i can't thank you enough for each of your words of encouragement. i received many private emails from some of you sharing your similiar stories. i told one friend, it's amazing what you discover when you let your guard down~ allow others to see a glimpse of who you really are and the things you struggle with. inevitably, you will find many others who come along beside you who have traveled the same road.
when the nurse first called and told me to come back for a biopsy , i had no idea where my original results fell on the medical continuum. obviously, fearing the worst case scenario was the route i went with. ugh. i hate that i do that. fear & anxiety just flat out robs you.....robs your peace, your joy, even robs your day. i have spent a good portion of the last several days writing out scriptures on 4x6 cards ( actually, a cute 'real simple' brand little thingy from target). it disappoints me that it often takes a crisis to get me back on my knees in constant prayer. anyway....the results showed an area of moderate level dysplasia-precancer....he reassured me that i do not have cancer but do have an area that will need to be removed . i will need to have outpatient surgery that i haven't scheduled yet.
i pray that my imaginations & fears will not get the best of me. that i won't sprint all the way down the road of the dreaded what if's---i think everyone, but especially mommies can relate to the fears of what if's as it relates to our children & the time we spend raising them. our days can change in the blink of an eye....for good or for bad. i pray that i can fully live in God's grace & be the mom & wife He's called me to be, each moment of each day...nothing more , nothing less.
thank you again sweet friends~ you are a blessing to me!
So do not fear, for I am with you.
Do not be dismayed for I am your God.
I will strengthen you & help you.
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Thursday, August 07, 2008
I wish I didn't , but i struggle with fear as it relates to health situations. Not just worry but flat out fear. Funny thing, being a nurse & all , you'd think i'd have gone into a different profession. Ignorance is bliss.....
I guess it must have started after Gregg died. It was just one of those things I didn't see coming but fear began to creep in my heart. Someone has a headache & I think brain tumor. Someone has an upset tummy and I go straight to a major g.i. issue. I have had "minor" issues in various different areas for the last several years.
Two years I asked my doctor for "something" to help me as I really felt like I was struggling with anxiety for the first time in my life.
He told me to take up ball room dancing.
Ball room dancing.
In that moment, I wished I could have given him a great jerry seinfeldesque response, but I think I just laughed and said "sure, i'll give that one a try"-- hrmph.
I wanted to rattle off all the times I had handled stresses in my life without needing medication. I wanted to tell him I had been a widow for crying out loud.
Ball room dancing.
Besides leaving that day without any new perscription , I vowed I would have new mercy for friends struggling with anxiety or depression issues.
I've been ok. Cutting out caffeine-cold turkey was about the only major element that changed....needless to say, so did my doctor. I no longer feel as anxious as I did two summers ago but I still battle my fears. I don't like who I am on those days. I much prefer to be my joyful self & when I'm an knotted up with fears it just dominates my every thought.
Its a busy day today. All my girls have their open house back to school events--at three different times & three different schools. My doctors exam is smack dab in the middle.
This morning my precious Caroline came in and woke me up. I'm usually up long before her, but not today. She sweetly came in & told me she had been reading "The Secret Garden" and that she was already on chapter 6.
" I found out what happened to Mr Craven's wife....she died in an accident....there is a wet spot on my book from my tears".
I could just squeeze that little girl....my little muse.
Pictures from last night and her new sassy hair cut. Came home with loads of ant bites but some great pics too.
Have a blessed day!